Clark: "If this isn't the biggest bag over the head, punch in the face I ever got. bleep damnit!"
Clark Sr.: "Son."
Clark: "(He tears up the Jelly of the month club membership aand drinks so egg nog.) That's good. That's good. That's good. Hey, if any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here, tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head. And, I want to look him strait in the eye and tell him: what a cheap, lyiny, no good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, bloodsucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey bleep he is! Hallelujah! Holy bleep! Where's the Tylenol?"