Clark: "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun old fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're going to press on, and we're going to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny bleeping Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's going to find the jolliest bunch of bleepholes this side of the nut house."
Art: "You're Goofy."
Clark: "Don't piss me off Art."
Ellen: "Clark? It's over."
Clark: "Not according to Santa's watch it isn't."
Clark Sr.: "Clark now, come on son."
Clark: "Stay out of this Dad."
Ellen: "Clark, I think it's best if everyone just goes home, before things get worse."
Clark: "Worse? How could they get any worse? Take a look around you Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell!"