A song: Somebody to love performed by: Jim Carrey

Chip Douglas (Jim Carrey): [KNOCK] [KNOCK] [KNOCK] [KNOCK] "Cable Guy!

Chip Douglas: You're offering me a bribe. What you have just done is illegal and in this state, if convicted you could receive a fine of up to five thousand dollars or spend six months in a correctional facilulululity.
Steven Kovacs (Matthew Broderick): Oh please no, that was dumb. I was just making conversation.

Chip: (laughing) I'm just jerking your chain. I'll juice you up.

Chip: Come back here so that I may brain thee!

Steve: I just don't have any room in my life for a new friend.
Chip: So, what are you trying to say?

Chip: This concludes our broadcast day.