Ricky: "Dear lord baby Jesus or as our brothers to the south call you, Jesus, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino's, KFC and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family: my two beautiful, beautiful handsome, striking sons Walker and Texas Ranger or T.R. as we call him and of course my red-hot smoking wife, Carley who is a stone-cold fox. Who if you were to rate her ass on 100, it would easilly be a 94. Also wanna thank you for my best friend and teammate, Cal Naughton Jr who's got my back no batter what."
Cal: "Shake and Bake."
Ricky: "Dear Lord baby Jesus, we also thank you for my wife's father, Chip. We hope that you can use your baby Jesus powers to heal him and his horrible leg. And it smells terrible and the dogs are always bothering with it. Dear, tiny infant Jesus, we--"
Carley: "Hey, um, you know, sweetie, Jesus did grow up. You don't always have to call him, 'baby.' It's a bit odd and off-putting to pray to a baby."
Ricky: "Well, I like the Christmas Jesus best and I'm saying grace. When you say grace, you can say it to grownup Jesus or teenage Jesus or bearded Jesus, or whoever you want."
Carley: "You know what I want? I want you to do this grace good, so that God will let us win tomorrow."
Ricky: "Dear tiny Jesus in your golden-fleece diapers, with your tiny, little, fat, balled-up fists pawing at the air..."
Chip (Ted Manson): "He was a man. He had a beard."
Ricky: "Look, I like the baby version the best, do you hear me? I win the races and I get the money."
Carley: "Ricky, finish the damn grace."
Cal: "I like to picture Jesus in a Tuxedo T-shirt because it says, like, 'I wanna be formal...'"
Cal: "'...but I'm here to party too.' 'Cause I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party."
Walker (Houston Tumlin): "I like to picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai."
Cal: "I like to think of Jesus, like, with giant eagle's wings."
Cal: "And singing lead vocal for Lynyrd Skynyrd with, like, a angel band. And I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk."
Carley: "Hey, Cal? Why don't you just shut up?"
Cal: "Yes, ma'am."
Ricky: "Okay. Dear, 8-pound, 6-ounce, newborn infant Jesus, don't even know a word yet, just a little infant and so cuddly, but still omnipotent, we just thank you for all the races I've won and the 21.2 millios dollars-- Whoo!"
The Kids: "Ow!"
Ricky: "Love that money! --that I have accrued over this past season. Also due to a binding endorsement contract that stipulates I mention Powerade at each grace I just wanna say that Powerade is delicious and it cools you off os a hot summer day. And we look forward to Powerade's release of Mystic Mountain Blueberry. Thank you for all your power and your grace, dear baby God. Amen."
Ricky: "Let's dig in!"
Cal: "That was a hell of a grace, man. You nailed that like a split hog!"
Ricky: "I appreciate that. I'm not gonna lie to you, it felt good."