Cronauer: "We're back. Here's the news. All the news that's new and approved by the U.S. Army, the sweetest-smelling army in the world. (imitates Teletype) Great Britain recognized the island state of Singapore. How do you recognize on island? You go, "exc... Hey, wait. No, don't tell me. Wait, wait, didn't we meet last year at the Feinman bar mitzvah? You look a lot like Hawaii. Didn't we meet last year at the Peninsula Club? No." Pope Paul VI celebrated a mass in Italian. Whoa! Call me crazy! He's in Rome. You know, one day I want to meet him, kiss his ring, and have it go, whrrr! The Mississippi River broke through a protective dike today. What is a protective dike? A large woman by the river going, "Don't near there." "But Betty..." "Don't go near there. Get away from the river. Stay away from there." I know we can't use the word "dyke". You can't even say "lesbian". It's women in comfortable shoes. Thank you very much. Now here's the weather. We're gonn go right te Roosevelt E. Roosevelt. Roosevelt, how's it going? "Adrian, I'm with somebody. Don't even come here and bather me right now." Well, thanks, Roosevelt. Can't you give us a little weather? "Not now man! I'm on the balcony, man, trying to score. Back off!" Well, what's the weather like? "You got a window? Open it!" Thank you, Roosevelt. We'll have to go to someone else for the weather. I guess we'll have to go all the way to Washington Wether Central, to Walter Cronkite. Walter, what's the weather like? "I just want to begin by saying to Roosevelt E. Roosevelt, What it is, what it shall be, what it was. Weather out there today is hot and bleepty, with continued hot and bleepty in the afternoon. Tomorrow a chanch of continued crappy with a pissy weather front coming from the north. Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon roundup." Okay, we're gonna hit some songs at you right now. Coming your way!"