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40 Year Old Virgin: fourhours.wav (883 K) 

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Hotline Operator: "Hotline?"
Andy: "Hi, yes, I'm calling because, uh, it's been more than four hours and your ad said to call if it's been more than four hours?"
Hotline Operator: "Well, how much of the medicine have you taken, sir?"
Andy: "Uh, I haven't taken any, but your ad said that if you've had an erection for more than four hours, you call."
Hotline Operator: "Well, you're only supposed to call if you've taken the medicine."
Andy: "Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I must not have heard that part."
Hotline Operator: "Yes, If you haven't taken the medicine, uh, you don't call."
Andy: "Rught, right, right, right, I'm sorry, right. There's um-- So, there's nothing you can do? I mean, I just don't wanna..."
Hotline Operator: "There's nothing I can do. I am in Bombay, India."
Andy: "Oh, okay. No, not you personally. I just don't want-- I just don't want to have an erection anymore."
Hotline Operator: "Well, you know, you could have sex."
Andy: "Okay, yup."
Hotline Operator: "That's one thing people do when they have an erection."
Andy: "Yeah, that's not an option. I don't have sex."
Hotline Operator: "Uh, okay, well, then you can masturbate."
Andy: "I'd rather not masturbate."
Hotline Operator: "If you'd like the erection to go away, you can light a match, blow out the flame and put the hot ember on your wrist and that will focus the brain elsewhere and you will lose your erection."
Andy: "Really, that'd work?"
Hotline Operator: "Take your finger and flick your testicle and if you do that till it hurts your erection will go away."
Andy: "Okay, alright."
Hotline Operator: "It sounds unpleasant and it is. It is a trick we use in India."
Andy: "Okay, those are all good pieces of advice. I really appreciate it."

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