Commissioner: "We have one more piece of business to go over. I'm sure you've all heard the rumors, and they are true. The ABA will be merging with the NBA at the end of this season."
Jackie Moon: "Yes. Yes. I did it. I'm a real owner."
Nets Owner: "Please, Jackie, let go."
Jackie Moon: "I did it."
Commissioner: "Alright, let's... not get too excited."
Jackie Moon: "Yes! Gimmie ten, Norton! Everyone can eat shit! A big bag of shit! Ha ha ha! I'm the greatest man in the world! Whoo!"
Commissioner: "The NBA has agreed to our financial demands but there is something else--"
Jackie Moon: "You were right, Mom, destiny. I'm so happy I can't even feel my arms!"
Commissioner: "Okay, Jackie, listen to me. Jackie? Hey, Jackie?"
Jackie Moon: "Yes?"
Commissioner: "Four teams will be absorbed into the NBA next year. The rest of the league will terminate operations."
Jackie Moon: "Exactly. You know it. Wait. Wait, what did you say?"
Commissioner: "The Nets, the Spurs, the Pacers and the Nuggets are gonna play in the NBA next season. The rest of us are gonna dissolve."
Jackie Moon: "Dissolve? What's 'dissolve'? Is that even a word?"
Commissioner: "Yes, it is a word and financially it means you'll cease to exist. Let's don't get emotional about it. Just--"
Jackie Moon: "No! (He bangs his chair against the conference table) No!"
Commissioner: "Okay. Alright, you're being-- Well, Jackie. Jackie-- You-- Don't bite yourself. Come on."
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Semi-Pro: merger.mp3 (895 K)
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Purple Matress: Life's too short to be uncomfortable.
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