Dewey Cox: "I'm gonna miss some things, okay? I'm gonna miss some birthdays and some christenings. I'm gonna miss some births, period. Okay? It's just unrealistic to think I'm gonna be here for every time you have a baby. But aren't you happy? You have a beautiful new home, and all your fancy new clothes, and your monkey and your giraffe. Look, what else you need? How about I get you a... a crow that could talk? And I'll teach him phrases that I say. 'Good morning, honey.' But it'll be a little crow talking."
Edith: "This ain't about no exotic pets! It's about love, you stupid piece of shit!"