Semi-Pro: savedmylife.m4r (2928 K) 

Lou Redwood: "Swedish Porn saved my life in 'Nam."
Jackie Moon: "Okay."
Dick Pepperfield: "Oh."
Cornelius Banks (Tim Meadows): "Great, here we go."
Lou Redwood: "Come on, bleep you guys!"
Bobby Dee: "Let me get my violin."
Lou Redwood: "Swedish porn was the only thing that kept my mind off Charlie when I was in the shit."
Bobby Dee: "Is the shit in Ann Arbor? 'Cause that's where you were during the war."
Jackie Moon: "He really believes it."
Cornelius Banks: "You were never in 'Nam, you jive turkey. (silence and Lou gives him the evil eye and everybody else looks scared)"
Lou Redwood: "You just call me a Jive turkey?"
Jackie Moon: "No. No, he did not. He, uh, he called you a bleepsucker. Right? Right, Cornelius."
Cornelius Banks: "Yeah, yeah. I just called you a bleepsucker."
Lou Redwood: "I'm pretty sure that you called me a jive turkey."
Dick Pepperfield: "No, no. Now, Lou, nobody called anyone a JT."
Lou Redwood: "Jive turkey is a little over the line, my man!"
Jackie Moon: "Look, we're all here. We all heard what was said and we're in agreement. Cornelius said bleepsucker. Right?"
Bobby Dee: "Yes. He just said you suck bleep."
Dick Pepperfield: "That's all he said about you."
Jackie Moon: "Now, come on. Dig into that fondue, you little bleepsucker."
Lou Redwood: "We like playing games don't we? "
Jackie Moon: "We do, we're playing one right now!"
Lou Redwood: "I'm gonna show you guys this game that I learned when I was in bleeping 'Nam! (He pulls out a gun and points it at Cornelius)"
Bobby Dee: "Oh, no, no, no!"
Cornelius Banks: "Oh, my god!"
Dick Pepperfield: "Now, Lou, Lou."
Lou Redwood: "Who's the jive turkey now? (Then he starts to laugh) Gun's not loaded! (everybody starts laughing)"
Cornelius Banks: "You son of a bitch!"
Lou Redwood: "It's not loaded."
Jackie Moon: "It's not loaded."
Lou Redwood: "You should'a seen your bleepdamn face!"
Bobby Dee: "Oh! There's no bullets in there!"
Lou Redwood: "I never load it!"
Cornelius Banks: "The gun was not loaded!"