Lou Redwood: "I'm gonna show you guys this game that I learned when I was in bleeping 'Nam! (He pulls out a gun and points it at Cornelius)"
Bobby Dee: "Oh, no, no, no!"
Cornelius Banks: "Oh, my god!"
Dick Pepperfield: "Now, Lou, Lou."
Lou Redwood: "Who's the jive turkey now? (Then he starts to laugh) Gun's not loaded! (everybody starts laughing)"
Cornelius Banks: "You son of a bitch!"
Lou Redwood: "It's not loaded."
Jackie Moon: "It's not loaded."
Lou Redwood: "You should'a seen your bleepdamn face!"
Bobby Dee: "Oh! There's no bullets in there!"
Lou Redwood: "I never load it!"
Cornelius Banks: "The gun was not loaded!"
Jackie Moon: "(He picks up the gun and points it at his head) I'll see you bleepers in hell! (He pulls the trigger)"
Bobby Dee: "Jackie, Love Me Sexy is the worst song I've ever heard. (He pulls the trigger at Jackie)"
Cornelius Banks: "Watch this! I did call you a jive turkey. (He pulls the trigger at Lou as everyone continues laughing)"
Bobby Dee: "He did!"
Dick Pepperfield: "I got one. Hey, Lou, I know you slept with Mrs. Pepperfield! (He pulls the trigger at Lou) Rah!"
Lou Redwood: "We're saying nutty things 'cause they're not true. Especially that. More than the rest. It never happened."
Jackie Moon: "Hey. Bond, Jamen Bond."
Bobby Dee: "Oh, there it is."
Dick Pepperfield: "How do you like your martini, sir?"
Jackie Moon: "Stirred in a half-carafe. (He pulls the trigger at his wiener)"
Bobby Dee: "Oh, he shoots himself--"
Jackie Moon: "He shoots himself in the wiener. (He thrown the gun on the table and it goes off and the bullet ricochets around the room) Everybody okay?"
Bobby Dee: "I think so."
Jackie Moon: "I'm fine."
Dick Pepperfield: "Whoa. Wow. We just literally dodged a bullet."
Jackie Moon: "We sure did! Except for Cornelius. (Blood starts coming out of his arm)"
Everybody: "Oh!"
Cornelius Banks: "Whoa, I did got shot! (With a big smile on his face)"
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Semi-Pro: notloaded.m4r (2936 K)
To download as a ringtone put the URL below into your cell phone's browser: (Not all cell phones support this feature.)
Purple Matress: Life's too short to be uncomfortable.
To use as ringtone on your iPhone open the m4r audio file with iTunes and it will automatically be put in the "Ringtones" folder. Then sync your phone. You may need to check the "Sync ringtones" box under the "Ringtones" tab in iTunes for your iPhone. (Unfortunately if the sound clip is over 40 seconds it will not work because iTunes puts a limit on it.)