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Joe Versus The Volcano: hypochondriac.m4r (555 K) 

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Dr. Ellison (Robert Stack): "You can depend on at least four or five months of perfect health."
Joe: "Wait, what are you talking about? I don't feel good right now."
Dr. Ellison: "That's the ironic part, really. Mr. Banks, you're a hypochondriac. There's nothing wrong with you that has anything to do with your symptoms. Now my guess is that your experiences in the fire department were extremely traumatic. You experienced the imminent possibility of death several times."
Joe: "Yeah."
Dr. Ellison: "You survived. But the cumulative anxiety of those brushes with death left you habitually fearful about your physical person."
Joe: "I'm not sick except for this terminal disease?"
Dr. Ellison: "Which has no symptoms. That's right. It was only because of your insistence on having so many tests that we happened to discover the problem."

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