Cronauer: "Let's play a little game show while we're waiting. And who can tell me who sang the song "My Guy"? Hi. Where you from?"
Convoy Soldier: "Uh, Boston."
Cronauer: "Boston, you know who sang the song "My Guy"?"
Convoy Soldier: "Yeah, bleep, I con't think of it."
Cronauer: "(buzzer sound) Thank you for playing! "Yeah, bleep, I can't think of it." That's right. You don't win the cas of fish balls and lizzard testicles. Thank you for playing anyway. Here it is right now. Hey, what's your name?"
Patrick O'Malley: "Patrick O'Ma... O'Malley."
Cronauer: "Patrick O-O-O-O'Malley. I don't know I'm just so happy. I'm O-O-O'Malley. I don't know. It's the Irish boy. I'm just so full of semen. I haven't gotten laid yet. I'm sittin' out there, and I'm the Catholic boy and I don't know when I'll be gettin' laid. I'm just goin' off to Vietnam. Where you form?"
Patrick O'Malley: "From the Villiage. New York."
Cronauer: "From the Villiage? Well, nice to have you here. Nice to have you here in Vietnam. Obviously, you just said, "Well, bleep it. I'll join the army and be with the people in green." It's special thing to do. Hiya. What's your name?"
Jimmy Wilkes: "Jimmy Wilkes"
Cronauer: ""Jimmy Wilkes." Where you from Jimmy?"
Jimmy Wilkes: "I'm also New York."
Cronauer: "Ohh! Two boys joined together. Hey, said, "Well, I got drunk, man. All of a sudden, I went for a tatoo. The next thing you know, I'm on a bleepin' truck What happened? It's wild baby. I don't know what's goin' down." But you're both from New York. Nice to have you here. Like, you just, like hangin' out? You're headed north. Where you goin' to?"
Convoy Soldier: "Nha Trengh."
Cronauer: "Well, you gotta be caeful, Jack. That's some heavy stuff up there. That's like Newark after dark. You gotta watch out. There's some heavy bleep goin' down, baby. You'll feel like George Wallace campaigning in Harlem. "Hi, have you seen my face?" "Get your ass outta here!" You gotta watch it. What type of music do you like? You like, uh, you like Little Anthony? You like Little Anthony?"
Convoy Soldiers: "Yeah! Stones! I like James Brown better."
Cronauer: "You like James Brown better. Yes, sir. And the Stones. What you like Mick Jagger? Mick Jagger, right. You think he looks like a photo negative of Little Richard? Or am I crazy? Really. And that hair. I think... I don't know. Alright! Gentlemen, I don't know... Oh, my God, these lips! My God, they're moving! I'm gonna flap my eyebrows to death. Look out. I'm singing. I'm singing. Oh, get outta here. Watch out. Alright. Where you from?"
Convoy Soldier: "I'm from Cleveland, man."
Cronauer: "Cleveland. Obviously, Vietnam's not that much of a change for you, then."
Convoy Soldier: "Aw, naw."
Cronauer: "You guys take care of yourself, cause you look like: "I don't know what's gonna happen, man. I don't..." What's this thing on the side of your helmet? What is that thing your w... What do you got there?"
Convoy Soldier: "Here. Why don't you try it out?"
Cronauer: ""Why don't you try it out?" Look at that. It says here, it says what sizes you got? You got large, medium and Caucasian. Look at this thing. A little Italian party favor there. Oh! Oh, no, Bozo, boys and girls. Look at this thing. Obviously, this is goin' like: "Yeah, check it out." Hold on. Look. How big is this thing? Hold on. Black man's goin': "It's just for the tip. That's all I need is... It's a bathing cap. I just like to put a bathing cap." Remember this, the Vietnamese "Con Dum". Look, Italian moon launch. There, whoa, geez. It almost blew up in my face. Boom. There's prophylactic everywhere, man. It's not a pretty picture. There's pieces of rubber all over his face. I don't know what to say."