Bert: "Wow. I can't believe this German chick wants to come here and hook up with you."
Scotty: "I don't think so, buddy. Mieke's a guy."
Bert: "Uh, no, it says right here, 'trauriges madchen.' 'I was a sad girl to hear about Fiona.' bleepin' A, Scott. I'm taking intro to German, and even I know that."
Scotty: "Come here. He sent me a picture, retardo. See? That's a picture of Mieke and his cute cousin, Jan."
Bert: "No, retardo. That's Jan, a man's name, and that's not 'Mike,' it's 'Mieke,' a common German girl's name, similar to our Michelle. I hope you wrote her back and told her to come visit."