Willie: "Don't bleep with my beard."
The Kid (Brett Kelly): "It's not real."
Willie: "No bleep. Well, it was real. But, you see, I got sick and all the hair fell out. SO I have to wear this bleepin' thing."
The Kid: "How'd you get sick?"
Willie: "I loved a woman who wasn't clean."
The Kid: "Mrs. Santa?"
Willie: "No, it was her sister."