Jim's Dad: "Doctor, my-my son has a party in seven days, and there's a young lady coming that he's been waiting to... he's been waiting to get with."
Doctor (Kevin Cooney): "I'd tell your son to keep his pants on during that party."
Jim's Dad: "Oh, yes, yes. Believe me, I will be doing that. It goes without saying. But if his pants decide to come off during the party, could he have full use of his, um, penis?"
Doctor: "Okay. This should shave a couple of days off."
Jim's Dad: "Oh, good. Thank you, Doctor. Jim, that's good news. This has been a good news day, son."