Lady In ER: "Son, couldn't you have left that disgusting thing at home?"
Jim's Dad: "Excuse me?"
Lady In ER: "Well, that kind of material is offensive to me."
Jim's Dad: "Oh, well, we're sorry. But you see, my son couldn't leave it at home because, uh, he's having a bit of a medical emergency."
Jim: "That's right. Thanks, Dad."
Jim's Dad: "Your opinion of his taste in video rentals, I'm afraid, is, uh, not a priority, lady."
Jim: "Okay, Dad..."
Jim's Dad: "Okay? It's at the bottom of the totem pole. Okay?"
Jim: "Thank you, Dad. Okay."
Jim's Dad: "My son is sitting here right now with his hand glued to his penis. But that doesn't mean anything to you, does it? Because you don't have a penis. Or maybe you do!"
Jim's Dad: "Sorry."
Jim's Dad: "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know, it just bugs me when-when-when-when people speak before they think."