Trent Lueders (Jim Gaffigan): "Hi, I'm Trent Lueders!"
Jay Kell (Stephen Colbert): "And I'm Jay Kell. Tonight is all about champions. Bet before we get going, I'd like to start by thanking my own personal champions. The fans who supported me with their cards and letters during my recent addiction to peyote buttons and Frangelico. I've already apologized to my friends, my family, and my god. And now, I'd like to apologize to Dame Judi Dench for my vicious and brutal attack. I'm sorry, Judi, you did not deserve that, and I hope the staples come out soon. Over to you, Trent."
Trent Lueders: "Thanks, Jay!"