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A Mighty Wind: veryflat.wav (728 K) 

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Purple Matress: Life's too short to be uncomfortable.

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Lawrence E. Turpin: "Alright, here's your giant banjo..."
Jonathan Steinbloom: "Um-hmm. It's very flat."
Lawrence E. Turpin: "Well, it doesn't look flat from in the audience."
Jonathan Steinbloom: "It has basically, no dimension to it."
Lawrence E. Turpin: "Well, it's painted to look three dimensional. If you go back there, trust me ..."
Jonathan Steinbloom: "But it's not painted on the back. I'm looking ot the back right now. Will you look with me for a minute?"
Lawrence E. Turpin: "Why would it be... From the audience it's gonna look perfectly fine. And It looks three dimensional. Just go out there and take a peek."
Jonathan Steinbloom: "Well, is this the real furniture or is this the rehearsal furniture?"
Lawrence E. Turpin: "Well, "A" it's not called "furniture". It's a set."
Jonathan Steinbloom: "Uh-huhh."
Lawrence E. Turpin: "And it's painted this way. It looks completely three dimensional from the audience, if you just go out that way, Mr. Steinbloom."
Jonathan Steinbloom: "So this is the real furniture, and this is... Is this an actual street lamp?"
Lawrence E. Turpin: "I'm sure it was at one time."
Jonathan Steinbloom: "Can you have an actual three dimensional object that's represents the thing that it actually is, can that be next to something that it's pretending to be? Would that be okay?"
Lawrence E. Turpin: "Yes, it's perfectly fine. You know, I really don't have time to explain Stagecraft 101. This show starts in an hour. Now, every... everything is exactly the way you..."
Jonathan Steinbloom: "And what are tho... what's tha... that... Those are lights hanging up there?"
Lawrence E. Turpin: "Yes, those are lights..."
Jonathan Steinbloom: "Could they fall?"
Lawrence E. Turpin: "...and that's a ceiling above us!"
Jonathan Steinbloom: "But they look shaky."
Lawrence E. Turpin: "No, they're not shaky, they're perfectly..."
Jonathan Steinbloom: "Is that wire? I see a wire. I see a... (Lawrence smacks him on the head.) Ow!"

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