Santa Clause: "What do you want for Christmas, little boy?"
Narrator: "My mind had gone blank. Frantically I tried to remember what it was I wanted. I was blowing it, blowing it."
Male Elf (Drew Hocevar): "Come on, kid."
Santa Clause: "How about a nice football?"
Narrator: "Football. What's a football? Without conscious will, my voice squeaked out:"
Ralphie: "Yeah."
Santa Clause: "Football. Okay, get him out of here."
Narrator: "A football! Oh, no. What was I doing? Wake up, stupid, wake up! No!"
Ralphie: "No! No, no. I want an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle."
Santa Clause: "You'll shoot you eye out, kid. Merry Christmas. Ho ho ho."
Ralphie: "No!"