Texas Ranger (Grayson Russell): "Well, the teacher asked me what was the capital of North Carolina."
Texas Ranger: "I said, 'Washington, D.C.'"
Texas Ranger: "She said, 'No, you're wrong.' I said, 'You got a lumpy butt.' She got mad at me and yelled at me and I pissed in my pants. And I never did change my pee pants all day. I'm still sitting in my dirty pee pants."
Cal: "I wet my bed until I was 19. There's no shame in that."