Stifler: "All right, forget it. We give up."
Mary Flaherty: "Oh, Steven! Steven!"
Stifler: "Oh, it's okay, Mary."
Mary Flaherty: "What's going on?"
Stifler: "Listen. This isn't working, guys. Krystal, you can drop the act. This isn't a real cop. Kevin wasn't assulted. I just wanted to make Jim look good for you guys. Like a real hero. Kind of like me. So we hired a fake cop and we tied up Kevin and put him in the closet. Jim was supposed to rescue him, untie him, give him mouth-to-mouth. I don't know what he likes to do. You know, and then Paul Finch hired an exotic dancer instead of a real actor."
Harold Flaherty: "Jim, is this true?"
Jim: "Every word of it."
Harold Flaherty: "Well, that is the stupidest idea I have ever heard."
Mary Flaherty: "You've embarrassed me and Harold and Mr. Belvedere."
Stifler: "It's all my fault. I'm a bad person."
Mary Flaherty: "Oh, you're not a bad person. You were just trying to help out your best friend."
Mary Flaherty: "And it was an awful idea. But I suppose it's the thought that counts."