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Willy: "If I don't save the wee turtles, who will?... HELP, save me from the wee turtles! They were too quick for me! Arrrgh!"

Willy: "Er, if elected mayor, ma first act will be to kill the whole lot o' ya, and burn yer town to cinders!"

Willy: "Git yer haggis, right here... chopped heart and lungs... boiled in a real sheep's stomach... tastes as good as it sounds! Good fer what ails ye, eh?"

Principal Skinner: "Go ahead, water it down some more."
Willy: "My God mon, I've watered 'er down as far as she'll go... I cannae water no more..."

Willy: "I warned ye! Didn't I warn ye? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!"

Willy: "Don't feel bad fer losin' - I was wrestlin' wolves back when you were at your mother's teat!"

Willy: "(gasp!) Boy! Ye read my thoughts! You've got the 'shinning'!"
Bart: "You mean 'shining'..."
Willy: "Shhh! Ye wanna get sued?"

Lunch Lady Doris: "They've even got Groundskeeper Willy teaching French..."
Willy: "Bonjourrrrrrrrrrrrrr, ya cheese-eatin' surrender-monkeys!"

Willy: "Ah, ya silk-wearin' buttercup..."

Willy: "Ach, back to the loch with you, Nessie..."