All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).
shatprac.wav(101K) shatprac.mp3(101K) shatprac.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Marge: "So, do you think I have a case?"
Lawyer: "Mrs. Simpson, you're in luck! Your sexual harassment suit is just the thing I need to rebuild my shattered practice."
otto3.wav(104K) otto3.mp3(104K) otto3.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Patty: "Any questions?"
Otto: "Yeah, one: Have you always been a chick? I mean, I don't want to offend you, but you WERE born a man, weren't you? You can tell me... I'm open-minded."
flanderssong.wav(108K) flanderssong.mp3(108K) flanderssong.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Chorus sings: "Hens love roosters, geese love ganders, everyone else loves Ned Flanders..."
Homer: "Not me!"
Chorus: "Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders..."
bnbrunch.wav(109K) bnbrunch.mp3(109K) bnbrunch.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
???: "First, the award for the alumnus who's gained the most weight: Homer Simpson!"
Homer: "Oh my God!"
???: "How did you do it, Homer?"
Homer: "I discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch."
morethan.wav(109K) morethan.mp3(109K) morethan.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
???: "There's more than one way to get high, baby."
aprlfool.wav(114K) aprlfool.mp3(114K) aprlfool.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Doctor: "Mrs. Simpson, I'm afraid your husband is dead."
Doctor: "(laughs) April fooled! He's very much alive, although I'm afraid he may never walk again."
beback.wav(115K) beback.mp3(115K) beback.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Sideshow Bob: "I'll be back. You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever... and when they get in, I'm back on the streets... with all my criminal buddies! Bah ha ha ha ha..."
mineymoe.wav(124K) mineymoe.mp3(124K) mineymoe.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Owner of the Shelbyville Power Plant: "Thank you, Homer, for saving my plant. With that... (shouts) Is the other driving? Do you even know which button you pushed?"
Homer: "Sure, Moe.""
Computer: "Crisis has been averted. Everything is super."
saftboy.wav(125K) saftboy.mp3(125K) saftboy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Marge: "It's for your own safety...""
Bully 1: "Take that, safety boy!"
Bully 2: "This padding's so easy on the knuckles, I could punch all day!"
default.wav(126K) default.mp3(126K) default.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Well Homer, I guess you're the winner by default."
Homer: "Default? Woo hoo! Default: the two sweetest words in the English language... de fault, de fault, de fault" (punching sounds)"
lindberg.wav(131K) lindberg.mp3(131K) lindberg.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Abe: "All right, I admit it: I am the Lindberg baby! Wah! Wah! Goo goo! I miss my fly-fly dah-dah!"
: "Are you trying to stall us, or are you just senile?"
Abe: "A little from column A, a little from column B..."
inyrdrms.wav(132K) inyrdrms.mp3(132K) inyrdrms.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Abe: "Hello, beautful..."
Lunch Lady Doris: "In your dreams..."
Abe: "We'll see about that..."
reunion.wav(147K) reunion.mp3(147K) reunion.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Flanders: "I got family here from around the globe! Here's Jose Flanders..."
Jose: "Buenos ding-dong-diddily-dias, senor..."
Flanders: "And this is Lord Thistlewick Flanders..."
Thistlewick: "Charmed... eh, a googily, googily."
wrmmouth.wav(159K) wrmmouth.mp3(159K) wrmmouth.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ralph: "Um, Miss Hoover?"
Ms. Hoover: "Yes Ralph, what is it?"
Ralph: "My worm went in my mouth, and then I ate it. Can I have a new one?"
Ms. Hoover: "No Ralph, there aren't any more. Just try to sleep while the other children are learning."
Ralph: "Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!"
bringwtr.wav(82K) bringwtr.mp3(82K) bringwtr.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Woman: "Is it true that we have to bring our own water?"
Homer: "We got a little rule back home: If it's brown, drink it down. If it's black, send it back."
cuffem.wav(84K) cuffem.mp3(84K) cuffem.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Chief Wiggum: "Cuff 'em boys, we're puttin' this dirtbag away."
Snake: "Hah! I'll be back on the streets in 24 hours."
Chief Wiggum: "We'll try to make it 12."
egghead.wav(87K) egghead.mp3(87K) egghead.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Professor Frink: "Here is an ordinary square..."
Chief Wiggum: "Whoa, whoa... slow down, egghead!"
wbankrun.wav(97K) wbankrun.mp3(97K) wbankrun.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Apu: "Slap on your bullet-proof vest, Sanji, it's time for another bank run."
Sanji: "Alright, but if I don't make it, promise you won't sleep with my wife."
Apu: "I promise nothing!"
21.wav(53K) 21.mp3(53K) 21.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Homer: "Hit me"
Homer: "Hit me"
Homer: "Hit me"
daddy.wav(60K) daddy.mp3(60K) daddy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Woman: "(smack, spank, whack) Oh, God!"
Homer: "He he he... call me daddy"
wreswolf.wav(65K) wreswolf.mp3(65K) wreswolf.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Willy: "Don't feel bad fer losin' - I was wrestlin' wolves back when you were at your mother's teat!"
fossil.wav(68K) fossil.mp3(68K) fossil.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Radio announcer: "KFSL - Fossil, 103. Classic hits from Abba to Zepplin. Come a-lead"
l_hutz01.wav(68K) l_hutz01.mp3(68K) l_hutz01.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Troy McClure: "She left a video will, so I earn my fee simply by pressing this 'Play' button! Pretty sweet, eh?"
noenglish.wav(76K) noenglish.mp3(76K) noenglish.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Apu: "Yes I'm sorry, I do not speak English. Ok."
Woman: "But, you were just talking..."
Apu: "Yes, yes, hot dog, hot dog, yes sir, no sir, maybe ok."
willyfrench.wav(78K) willyfrench.mp3(78K) willyfrench.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Lunch Lady Doris: "They've even got Groundskeeper Willy teaching French..."
Willy: "Bonjourrrrrrrrrrrrrr, ya cheese-eatin' surrender-monkeys!"
spritzer.wav(36K) spritzer.mp3(36K) spritzer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Beano: "Now bring me a wine spritzer, and don't be stingy with the vino!"
haha3.wav(39K) haha3.mp3(39K) haha3.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Nelson: "Ha ha"
Parrot: "(squawk) Ha ha (whistle)"
homerwus.wav(41K) homerwus.mp3(41K) homerwus.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Billy Corrigan (of the Smashing Pumpkins): "Oh man, Homer wussed out... I'm so disappointed."
pingpong.wav(24K) pingpong.mp3(24K) pingpong.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Patrick Stewart: "Now let's all get drunk and play ping pong!"
erotcake.wav(25K) erotcake.mp3(25K) erotcake.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Homer: "Ooh! Erotic cake..."
testicles.wav(29K) testicles.mp3(29K) testicles.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Lunch lady Doris: "More testicles mean more iron"
whacking.wav(29K) whacking.mp3(29K) whacking.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Miss Springfield: "Gentlemen, start your whacking!"
sim1.wav(30K) sim1.mp3(30K) sim1.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Troy: "Hello everybody! I'm Troy McClure"
tlkcrazy.wav(17K) tlkcrazy.mp3(17K) tlkcrazy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
McBain: "Oh, stop talking crazy..."
m&s_fbi.wav(49K) m&s_fbi.mp3(49K) m&s_fbi.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mulder: "Agents Mulder and Scully, FBI."
truth1.wav(52K) truth1.mp3(52K) truth1.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mulder: "The truth is out there!"
gamble.wav(49K) gamble.mp3(49K) gamble.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ned: "What do you think, reverend?"
Reverend: "Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral."
teamdisc.wav(72K) teamdisc.mp3(72K) teamdisc.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Martin: "Team discovery channel"
Nelson: "Hmm... Your wussiness better come in handy..."
nelsong.wav(???K) nelsong.mp3(???K) nelsong.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Nelson: "Ah, jeez. I never hang out with him... normally"
Martin: "(sings) Hark."