Episode 309 Jewbilee price at: amazon
All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).
309_actjewish.wav(24K) 309_actjewish.mp3(24K) 309_actjewish.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Kyle and Ike, you be safe... and Kenny, try to act Jewish."
309_apologize.wav(54K) 309_apologize.mp3(54K) 309_apologize.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Moses, I apologize for any inconvience and I was just, uh..."
309_bearparty.wav(44K) 309_bearparty.mp3(44K) 309_bearparty.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "See this little bear cub, its his birthday?"
309_bell.wav(87K) 309_bell.mp3(87K) 309_bell.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "The ritual with the ringing of the bell."
309_cantwatch.wav(56K) 309_cantwatch.mp3(56K) 309_cantwatch.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "I can't watch the meteor shower with you Kenny. I have to go to Jewbilee"
309_carrotcake.wav(8K) 309_carrotcake.mp3(8K) 309_carrotcake.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "When do we get to eat carrot cake?"
309_chine...wav(19K) 309_chine...mp3(19K) 309_chine...m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Squirts, fall in. Chinese formation."
309_chinesejew.wav(66K) 309_chinesejew.mp3(66K) 309_chinesejew.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Oh... wonderful... could you run out and grab some of those candles for us? There we go."
309_doneforus.wav(36K) 309_doneforus.mp3(36K) 309_doneforus.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Oh, enough already, what has Moses ever done for us?"
309_enter...wav(86K) 309_enter...mp3(86K) 309_enter...m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Enter the conch shell Moses. And there you shall stay, trapped for all eternity."
309_forgetit.wav(85K) 309_forgetit.mp3(85K) 309_forgetit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Damn, damn, damn, damn! Ok bear, that does it! You want to kill all the squirt? You can have them..."
309_free.wav(15K) 309_free.mp3(15K) 309_free.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Free! Free to punish those that imprisoned me."
309_funnylooking.wav(20K) 309_funnylooking.mp3(20K) 309_funnylooking.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "How come your head is looking... so... funny looking?"
309_givethatback.wav(37K) 309_givethatback.mp3(37K) 309_givethatback.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Kenny grabs the conch shell during the ritual."
309_gonnabelate.wav(19K) 309_gonnabelate.mp3(19K) 309_gonnabelate.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "C'mon Kyle! You're gonna be late for Jew Scouts."
309_gonow.wav(72K) 309_gonow.mp3(72K) 309_gonow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "A non-Jew has infiltrated Jew Scouts and looked upon the face of Moses. He must be dealt with..."
309_gotan...wav(101K) 309_gotan...mp3(101K) 309_gotan...m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "That's it you bleep damned stupid bear face. Jesus help me, he got another squirt!"
309_grabyourgear.wav(36K) 309_grabyourgear.mp3(36K) 309_grabyourgear.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Squirts, go grab your gear, we're going to go hunt ourselves a bear!"
309_greatmoses.wav(66K) 309_greatmoses.mp3(66K) 309_greatmoses.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "The hour of Jewbilee is near. Let all debts be forgiven and all slaved freed. Maaawahhhhhh..."
309_havetogo.wav(32K) 309_havetogo.mp3(32K) 309_havetogo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "...you have to go so some day you can be a big brave Jew Scout."
309_headbutt.wav(20K) 309_headbutt.mp3(20K) 309_headbutt.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Kenny impales his head on the conch shell."
309_holdsquirts.wav(25K) 309_holdsquirts.mp3(25K) 309_holdsquirts.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "The Squirt Leader sings the Squirt song..."
309_hopeless.wav(53K) 309_hopeless.mp3(53K) 309_hopeless.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "I'm fine with obeying. Yeah, obeying should work out swell."
309_immobilize.wav(60K) 309_immobilize.mp3(60K) 309_immobilize.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "You immobilze the bear with the net. Then echo team run up and attack the bear with your Squirt knives."
309_jewpledge.wav(100K) 309_jewpledge.mp3(100K) 309_jewpledge.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "I pledge to be a Jew Scout, my honor wide and true. I am proud to be a Jew Scout otherwise I'd just be a Jew."
309_jewscouts.wav(60K) 309_jewscouts.mp3(60K) 309_jewscouts.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "...from the Orthadox Jews, to the Hacidic Jews, to the Northern Italy Cave Jews..."
309_jiminygravy.wav(15K) 309_jiminygravy.mp3(15K) 309_jiminygravy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Oh, Jiminy Gravy what is this?"
309_kennytidings.wav(88K) 309_kennytidings.mp3(88K) 309_kennytidings.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "...And those little shaker things where you put beans inside paper plates that are glued together..."
309_keysr...wav(25K) 309_keysr...mp3(25K) 309_keysr...m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "A bit of Chinese music as the Squirts retreive the keys."
309_lastsquirt.wav(33K) 309_lastsquirt.mp3(33K) 309_lastsquirt.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "bleep damnit. You stupid bleep damn son of a bear, you've taken your last Squirt, you hear me?"
309_lastsupper.wav(76K) 309_lastsupper.mp3(76K) 309_lastsupper.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "You don't make a macaroni picture of the Last Supper at a Jewish camp!"
309_learn...wav(76K) 309_learn...mp3(76K) 309_learn...m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "You know, I think we learned something all today..."
309_likethisone.wav(48K) 309_likethisone.mp3(48K) 309_likethisone.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "And it was foretold that the spirit of Moses would finally rest when his spirit was imprisioned..."
309_macar...wav(47K) 309_macar...mp3(47K) 309_macar...m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "The elders have given us a very important task tonight. We're all going to make macaroni pictures..."
309_makeu...wav(37K) 309_makeu...mp3(37K) 309_makeu...m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: ""Get ready, answer the door." Jesus bleep. Make up your freaking mind."
309_marryhim.wav(37K) 309_marryhim.mp3(37K) 309_marryhim.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "If you guys love Moses so much why don't you marry him?"
309_mosesarrives.wav(92K) 309_mosesarrives.mp3(92K) 309_mosesarrives.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "That's Moses, stupid."
309_mosestrapped.wav(22K) 309_mosestrapped.mp3(22K) 309_mosestrapped.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Moses is trapped for all eternity..."
309_moshe.wav(Apologizes, I'm not Jewish, so I don't know WTF this is, if it is really anything at all.)"(32K) 309_moshe.mp3(Apologizes, I'm not Jewish, so I don't know WTF this is, if it is really anything at all.)"(32K) 309_moshe.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Some sort of "Hebrew" chant. "
309_myfaith.wav(41K) 309_myfaith.mp3(41K) 309_myfaith.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "It is not stupid Kenny. This is my faith and you shouldn't make fun of it."
309_name.wav(20K) 309_name.mp3(20K) 309_name.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Kenny McHeinenberg."
309_necklace.wav(49K) 309_necklace.mp3(49K) 309_necklace.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "I desire... popcorn necklaces."
309_noike.wav(27K) 309_noike.mp3(27K) 309_noike.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Ma, Ike keeps taking off his Squirt uniform."
309_nolon...wav(39K) 309_nolon...mp3(39K) 309_nolon...m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Your synagouge of anti-semites is too strange. Get out and do not return. You are no longer welcome here."
309_nonhebrew.wav(78K) 309_nonhebrew.mp3(78K) 309_nonhebrew.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Elder, its not my fault. He told me he was Jewish."
309_nonoo.wav(45K) 309_nonoo.mp3(45K) 309_nonoo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Moses, nooooooo!"
309_notkosher.wav(62K) 309_notkosher.mp3(62K) 309_notkosher.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "There is an impurity... this child here is not kosher."
309_notmine.wav(51K) 309_notmine.mp3(51K) 309_notmine.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Tonight's meteor shower is the sign of a new time..."
309_ohfrank.wav(73K) 309_ohfrank.mp3(73K) 309_ohfrank.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Oh no, the bear took a squirt. I'm gonna get it now!"
309_ohhhh.wav(68K) 309_ohhhh.mp3(68K) 309_ohhhh.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Stupid bleepholes, Moses isn't going to teach them anything!"
309_okguys.wav(68K) 309_okguys.mp3(68K) 309_okguys.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "C'mon Squirts, we've got to go help them."
309_piehole.wav(20K) 309_piehole.mp3(20K) 309_piehole.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Because that's what Squirts do, now shut your piehole."
309_ratpoison.wav(42K) 309_ratpoison.mp3(42K) 309_ratpoison.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "We'll just see how Mr. Bear likes ratpoison."
309_sandwiches.wav(26K) 309_sandwiches.mp3(26K) 309_sandwiches.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "All we have to do is stick together and then we'll spend the rest of the night making bear sandwiches."
309_screwyou.wav(3K) 309_screwyou.mp3(3K) 309_screwyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Elder Schwartz? I lost the Squirts. I lost all the Squirts... but SCREW YOU!"
309_shlt.wav(28K) 309_shlt.mp3(28K) 309_shlt.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Kenny says "Shit!""
309_somuchfun.wav(yeah lie)."(28K) 309_somuchfun.mp3(yeah lie)."(28K) 309_somuchfun.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Tell Ike how much fun Squirts is, Kyle..."
309_special.wav(51K) 309_special.mp3(51K) 309_special.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "No, no, you're very special. Its just that Jewbilee is for Jewish kids."
309_squadron.wav(56K) 309_squadron.mp3(56K) 309_squadron.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Alpha 5 and Gamma 7 will be on recon team. Alpha will take left flank and flush the bear out..."
309_squirtleader.wav(47K) 309_squirtleader.mp3(47K) 309_squirtleader.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "I'm the Squirt Leader. I don't want to be the Squirt Leader but I don't have a choice..."
309_squirts.wav(27K) 309_squirts.mp3(27K) 309_squirts.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "We are Squirts, we are Squirts, we're so kosher that it hurts... when we get older we'll be Scouts but until then we are Squirts."
309_thinkagain.wav(24K) 309_thinkagain.mp3(24K) 309_thinkagain.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "You think you can stop me from getting my badge, stupid bear? Think again!"
309_toolate.wav(15K) 309_toolate.mp3(15K) 309_toolate.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Oh no, its too late!"
309_tutelage.wav(43K) 309_tutelage.mp3(43K) 309_tutelage.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Moses, great leader, on this blessed night of Jubilee we ask for your tutelage."
309_werenew.wav(66K) 309_werenew.mp3(66K) 309_werenew.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "I don't believe I've heard of the anti-Semitic sect of Judaism before..."
309_wahtd...wav(49K) 309_wahtd...mp3(49K) 309_wahtd...m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Great and honorable Moses. What do you desire for us, your children?"
309_wheresquirts.wav(39K) 309_wheresquirts.mp3(39K) 309_wheresquirts.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Where the hell are the Squirts? We need those macaroni pictures for Moses right now!"
309_wontsuck.wav(23K) 309_wontsuck.mp3(23K) 309_wontsuck.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "Maybe you can go with me, then it won't suck so hard!"
309_yesyes.wav(39K) 309_yesyes.mp3(39K) 309_yesyes.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "...and it was the night that stars flew around the sky... YES! YES!"
309_youwillsee.wav(74K) 309_youwillsee.mp3(74K) 309_youwillsee.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
: "...returns from the 9th tower of death illusionment and smotes Moses and all of his followers into pilars of dust that would cry for their petty lives but can't because they were just turned into dust and all."