All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

202_answer.wav(32K) 202_answer.mp3(32K)

: "If you don't feel fit to raise a child, then abortion probably is the answer."

202_bangbang.wav(55K) 202_bangbang.mp3(55K)

: "The lights go off, and Mephesto gets shot."

202_bigbreakfast.wav(60K) 202_bigbreakfast.mp3(60K)

Jimbo: "Calm down soldier, we need every person here to keep his head!"

202_bigfatass.wav(24K) 202_bigfatass.mp3(24K)

Stan: "Dude, your'e a big fat ass, and you're mom's a hermapholyte."

202_bone.wav(97K) 202_bone.mp3(97K)

: "Yes, I can feel the needle scraping the bone inside..."

202_boss.wav(62K) 202_boss.mp3(62K)

: "Who the hell made Jimbo boss?  Was it Barbrady?  Chef?   Mr. Garrison?"

202_cannabilism.wav(84K) 202_cannabilism.mp3(84K)

Jimbo: "If a few of us must die so the rest of us can stay alive, so be it."

202_cantwait.wav(128K) 202_cantwait.mp3(128K)

Cartman: "I can't wait anymore, what am I supposed to do? "

202_castfirst.wav(63K) 202_castfirst.mp3(63K)

: "Who will the director cast first?  Will it be Mr. Garrison?   Officier Barbrady? Chef?"

202_compelling.wav(31K) 202_compelling.mp3(31K)

: "We're desperate for stories... and this one is so compelling"

202_competent.wav(97K) 202_competent.mp3(97K)

Mayor McDaniels: "Let's pretend for one second consider that we had a competent law enforcer in this town...."

202_conception.wav(35K) 202_conception.mp3(35K)

: "Do you know the actual time of conception?"

202_convincing.wav(68K) 202_convincing.mp3(68K)

: "I don't know, I may need some more convincing, huh."

202_diabetic.wav(53K) 202_diabetic.mp3(53K)

: "What?  Christ!  Are you people diabetic or something?"

202_doggiebag.wav(30K) 202_doggiebag.mp3(30K)

Cartman: "I'm bringing home some Eric Roberts in a doggie bag.  Does anybody else want some?"

202_eateachother.wav(90K) 202_eateachother.mp3(90K)

Jimbo: "Our only option might be to eat each other to stay alive!"

202_eater...wav(234K) 202_eater...mp3(234K)

Mayor McDaniels: "Yes, of course, nobody gives a bleep about Eric Roberts."

202_equal...wav(35K) 202_equal...mp3(35K)

Kyle: "Whoa, dude!  She doesn't have any arms!"

202_family.wav(39K) 202_family.mp3(39K)

: "America's Most Wanted isn't about violence... its about family."

202_father.wav(106K) 202_father.mp3(106K)

Cartman: ".... Oh man, this is bleeping weak!"

202_fatheris.wav(72K) 202_fatheris.mp3(72K)

Cartman: "The father is someone in this room... the father is... Mrs. Cartman!"

202_fetus.wav(63K) 202_fetus.mp3(63K)

: "Eight years old is a little late to be considering abortion."

202_focus.wav(59K) 202_focus.mp3(59K)

: "We're doing the best as we can, maam.  They've closed the pass..."

202_framed.wav(108K) 202_framed.mp3(108K)

: "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?  Was is Jimbo? Mr. Garrison? Chef?"

202_freezypop.wav(106K) 202_freezypop.mp3(106K)

Stan: "Dude, you think if we hit him with a shovel he will shatter?"

202_furniture.wav(40K) 202_furniture.mp3(40K)

: "This story has everything!  People!  Furniture!   Talking!  It's a real American story."

202_goodmovie.wav(195K) 202_goodmovie.mp3(195K)

Officer Barbrady: "Wow!  This is a good movie!"

202_hands.wav(44K) 202_hands.mp3(44K)

: "Nurse, please!  I need another pair of hands in here!"

202_heate...wav(215K) 202_heate...mp3(215K)

: "There's actually a nice heated walkway to it, so you don't need to walk through all that sewage!"

202_herma...wav(77K) 202_herma...mp3(77K)

Mephesto: "You see, Mrs. Cartman is a hermaphrodite."

202_heykenny.wav(18K) 202_heykenny.mp3(18K)

Stan: "Oh, hey Kenny!"

202_improv.wav(167K) 202_improv.mp3(167K)

: "No, no, my lifetime partner and friend, taken away in the wink of an eye!"

202_incision.wav(94K) 202_incision.mp3(94K)

Kyle: "Dude, you barfed in the incision!"

202_jiminy.wav(55K) 202_jiminy.mp3(55K)

: "And the father of Eric Cartman is.. (BANG) Jiminy!  I've been shot!"

202_juicier.wav(27K) 202_juicier.mp3(27K)

: "I have to admit, Eric Roberts is much juicer then I expected."

202_kidding.wav(13K) 202_kidding.mp3(13K)

Cartman: "You've got to be kidding me!"

202_kille...wav(27K) 202_kille...mp3(27K)

Kenny: "Oh my god, they killed Mephesto! "

202_killnext.wav(98K) 202_killnext.mp3(98K)

: "Who will they kill next?  Will it be Jimbo?  Barbrady?   The Denver Broncos?"

202_laws.wav(31K) 202_laws.mp3(31K)

Cartman: "I think you need to keep your laws off of my body."

202_lights.wav(86K) 202_lights.mp3(86K)

: "Who is screwing with the lights?  Is it Barbrady?  Jimbo?   Or the 1991 Denver Broncos?"

202_metap...wav(53K) 202_metap...mp3(53K)

: "Unless we get helped soon, all of these people are bleeped... metaphorically speaking, that is."

202_mileaway.wav(90K) 202_mileaway.mp3(90K)

: "He shouldn't need any help, unless the power goes out.  Who didn't see that one coming a mile away?"

202_minute.wav(71K) 202_minute.mp3(71K)

Cartman: "Man, this sounds like the longest minute of my life!"

202_mother.wav(94K) 202_mother.mp3(94K)

Cartman: "Wait a minute, if she's my Dad, then... who's my Mom?"

202_nogoingback.wav(64K) 202_nogoingback.mp3(64K)

Mayor McDaniels: "Well, there's no going back now... we're cannibals.  God save us!"

202_penis.wav(130K) 202_penis.mp3(130K)

Mephesto: "No, not exactly, but she did have a penis!  (BARF!)"

202_perfect.wav(62K) 202_perfect.mp3(62K)

: "I sure hope I'm not Eric Cartman's father Mr. Hat.  'You can say that again, Mr. Garrison.'"

202_prefer.wav(44K) 202_prefer.mp3(44K)

: "We prefer to abort babies a little bit earlier on..."

202_pyramids.wav(80K) 202_pyramids.mp3(80K)

: "Who built the pyramids?  Was it the Babylonians?  Officer Barbrady?  Summaritans?"

202_quincy.wav(42K) 202_quincy.mp3(42K)

Chef: "I used to watch Quincy."

202_sacrifice.wav(314K) 202_sacrifice.mp3(314K)

Kenny: "Kenny sacrifices his life for the patients on life support."

202_safety.wav(49K) 202_safety.mp3(49K)

Sheila Broflovski: "We can't even leave our homes for fear of our children's safety!"

202_sailaway.wav(331K) 202_sailaway.mp3(331K)

Kyle: "I'm sailing away..."
Cartman: ""

202_saythatagain.wav(69K) 202_saythatagain.mp3(69K)

Mr. Garrison: "I sure hope I'm not Eric Cartman's father, Mr. Hat.  'You can say that again Mr. Garrison.'"
Mr. Hat: ""

202_shocking.wav(58K) 202_shocking.mp3(58K)

Cartman: "Oh?  Gee wiz?   You think so, Mom?"

202_shortone.wav(88K) 202_shortone.mp3(88K)

Jimbo: "Damnit, Barbrady!   When you draw straws, you're supposed to have one short..."

202_shotcracker.wav(39K) 202_shotcracker.mp3(39K)

Chef: "Doctor!  We've got a shot cracker outside!"

202_sobriety.wav(87K) 202_sobriety.mp3(87K)

: "An air of sobirety fills labotory, as the men of South Park gather to find out which one of them fathered this boy."

202_submarine.wav(27K) 202_submarine.mp3(27K)

Mr. Garrison: "...like sailors on a submarine."

202_subtraction.wav(35K) 202_subtraction.mp3(35K)

Officer Barbrady: "I thought of something... uh, wait, that's subtraction."

202_surgery.wav(56K) 202_surgery.mp3(56K)

: "The doctor prepares the boys and Chef for surgery."

202_teamb.wav(306K) 202_teamb.mp3(306K)

: "...we will drink the cocoa and watch family programming until Team B makes it through the sewage duct."

202_terminated.wav(100K) 202_terminated.mp3(100K)

: "Ok, Mrs. Cartman, I'll legalize 40th trimester pregnancies for you."

202_thankkenny.wav(81K) 202_thankkenny.mp3(81K)

Mephesto: "I want to thank Kenny McCormick for sacrificing his..."

202_thank...wav(17K) 202_thank...mp3(17K)

Mephesto: "Well.   That's that.  Thank you all for playing."

202_tnpspecial.wav(67K) 202_tnpspecial.mp3(67K)

Mephesto: "...say did anybody see that Terrance and Phillip special last month?  Wasn't that the funniest thing?"

202_towel.wav(95K) 202_towel.mp3(95K)

Chef: "Don't let him bleed on my Meredith Baxter Birney memorial towel."

202_twoteams.wav(80K) 202_twoteams.mp3(80K)

: "Team A will consist of myself, Stan, Kyle, Eric, Chef, and Nurse Goodley.  Team B will consist of Kenny."

202_unfinished.wav(95K) 202_unfinished.mp3(95K)

Cartman: "No way dude, I can't stand to leave things unfinshed.  Its like when you hear that song..."

202_wakeup.wav(32K) 202_wakeup.mp3(32K)

Cartman: "Wake up you son of a bitch!"

202_wantedintro.wav(66K) 202_wantedintro.mp3(66K)

: "Tonight on America's Most Wanted, a shooter is on the loose in Colorado..."

202_wantedleadin.wav(114K) 202_wantedleadin.mp3(114K)

: "Tonight, terror invaded the small mountain community of South Park, Colorado..."

202_washedup.wav(68K) 202_washedup.mp3(68K)

: "We were able to get him to play the part of the little monkey guy."

202_whatcost.wav(222K) 202_whatcost.mp3(222K)

Ned: "  ...one day at a time... one day at a time."

202_whatright.wav(72K) 202_whatright.mp3(72K)

Cartman: "What right do I have bringing another child into this overpopulated world?"

202_whereami.wav(88K) 202_whereami.mp3(88K)

Mephesto: "Oh, I'm sure it was my brother again, he tries to shoot me every month."

202_whoshot.wav(109K) 202_whoshot.mp3(109K)

: "Who shot Mephesto?  Was it the school counselor?  Or was it Miss Crabtree..."

202_wuss.wav(42K) 202_wuss.mp3(42K)

Cartman: "Yeah, stop being a wuss!"