Movie Quotes - Movie Sounds - Movie Wavs



Episode 101 The Pilot price at: amazon

theaddress.wav(197K) theaddress.mp3(197K) theaddress.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Taxi Driver (Matthew Mullany): "Where am I taking you?"
Joey Tribbiani (Matt LeBlanc): "Uh, yeah, I've got it here someplace. It's my sister's place. She was supposed to pick me up but she's kinda not all there, you know?"
Taxi Driver: "The address?"
Joey: "Right, right, right."

layoverindallas.wav(298K) layoverindallas.mp3(298K) layoverindallas.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Taxi Driver: "So, you're here visiting family?"
Joey: "Well, no, I'm an actor. I've been in New York but I got offered work in LA and I think it's time for me to take my shot. It's kinda scary, I mean, I left my whole life behind. But I think it's a smart move, you know. You wanna make as an actor, you gotta move to LA, to Hollywood."
Taxi Driver: "So, what are you doing here in Dallas?"
Joey: "I did have a layover in Dallas."

lookdifferent.wav(205K) lookdifferent.mp3(205K) lookdifferent.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Wait a second. Wait a second. You look different."
Gina Tribbiani (Drea de Matteo): " Oh, I forgot, you haven't seen 'em. (Gina unzips her sweatshirt) Huh? What do you think? They're new. I went up three cup sizes. The doctor was reluctant. Come on, touch 'em."
Joey: "Uh, n-- Let's get my bag. I'll feel you up in the car, I promise."

actualshark.wav(161K) actualshark.mp3(161K) actualshark.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "So tell me about the big new job."
Joey: "Oh, well, uh, it all startet when I got this new agent. This lady is a shark. And that means she's a good agent, not an actual shark."
Gina: "I know that."
Joey: "Yeah, I did too."

malenurses.wav(186K) malenurses.mp3(186K) malenurses.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "She got me offers from two new shows."
Gina: "Wow, what are they?"
Joey: "Well, the first one's about a bunch of male nurses and I wasn't really crazy about that one. I mean, I've already been a brain surgeon. I don't think my fans would buy me as a nurse."
Gina: "Well, they bought you as a brain surgeon. They're pretty understanding, J--."

intriguing.wav(119K) intriguing.mp3(119K) intriguing.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Okay, well, it doesn't matter. Alright? 'Cause the other show, it's about a cop and I'm the star. Oh! Also, it's for cable. So there's a combination of nudity and swearing that I find intriguing."

moversandshakers.wav(122K) moversandshakers.mp3(122K) moversandshakers.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "How many bags are we looking for?"
Joey: "Uh, just one. The rest of my stuff is on a moving truck and I gave 'em your number. The company's called Movers And Shakers. They cost a little bit more but, man, that name cracked me up."

getthingsdone.wav(145K) getthingsdone.mp3(145K) getthingsdone.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Oh, wait, that was my bag."
Gina: "It's okay. Hold on. (Gina leans over so a man can see her cleavage better) Sir, could you grab that bag? Thank you."
Joey: "Well, they do get things done."

notagaycouple.wav(130K) notagaycouple.mp3(130K) notagaycouple.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Wow! I think I like LA."
Gina: "I thought you and Chandler should have moved out a long time ago. It's a very vibrant gay scene."
Joey: "Chandler and I are not a gay couple!"

tomcruise.wav(189K) tomcruise.mp3(189K) tomcruise.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Oh my god!"
Gina: "Yeah?"
Joey: "Yeah. Oh, Gina, thank you for finding this. Oh, I love it!"
Gina: "Good, 'cause if you didn't, I was gonna lie and tell you Tom Cruise used to live here."
Joey: "Tom Cruise lived here?"
Gina: "Sure he did, honey."
Joey: "Oh."

ollywoosign.wav(231K) ollywoosign.mp3(231K) ollywoosign.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "Sit up here and lean back. Now look over there."
Joey: "Is that the middle of the Hollywood sign?"
Gina: "That is the ollywoo sign."
Joey: "I can see the ollywoo sign! And into that woman's bathroom. And now she sees me lookin'. Hi, neighbor!"

neitherdothose.wav(150K) neitherdothose.mp3(150K) neitherdothose.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "What's the matter?"
Joey: "I just... I can't believe I'm here. You know, it just doesn't feel real. (Gina hugs him) And neither do those."

tothestars.wav(70K) tothestars.mp3(70K) tothestars.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "Gina Tribbiani, hairdresser to the stars?"
Joey: "Stars?"
Gina: "It sounds better than hairdresser to mostly Dominicans."

teenpregnancy.wav(112K) teenpregnancy.mp3(112K) teenpregnancy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Say, what is Michael now, twenty?"
Gina: "Yeah. Don't I look incredible for the mother of an adult son? That's the good thing about having a kid so young."
Joey: "You rarely hera the arguement for teen pregnancy."

thesewings.wav(106K) thesewings.mp3(106K) thesewings.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "I still think of you as a little kid. So much for these wings I picked up on the airplane."
Michael Tribbiani (Paulo Costanzo): "Oh, no, I'll still take 'em."
Joey: "I was just gonna show 'em to you b--."

cameoutofme.wav(153K) cameoutofme.mp3(153K) cameoutofme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "Tell your uncle Joey what you've been up to lately."
Michael: "Well, uh, now that college is done I'm just doing some grad work over at CalTech Center for Simulation of Dynamic Response Materials."
Gina: "Can you believe he came out of me?"

rocketscientist.wav(116K) rocketscientist.mp3(116K) rocketscientist.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Actually right now, were designing a mock-up for an escape module for the international space station."
Joey: "What are you, a rocket scientist?"
Michael: "Yes."

livingatschool.wav(89K) livingatschool.mp3(89K) livingatschool.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Hey, so how do you like living at school, huh?"
Michael: "Oh no, I still live with mom."
Joey: "Oh, man. (Laughing at him) That is nice."

moreincommon.wav(100K) moreincommon.mp3(100K) moreincommon.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "We have a lot more in common than most moms and sons 'cause she was just like twenty-two, so..."
Joey: "Right, yeah, twenty-two, yeah. That's why we had to change churches."

withmymom.wav(216K) withmymom.mp3(216K) withmymom.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "So, come on. What else is going on?"
Michael: "Well, actually I, um-- I'm thinking about moving out."
Joey: "Oh yeah, where?"
Michael: "Here with you."
Joey: "What?"
Michael: "I'm twenty years old, man. I shouldn't be living with my mom. Everyone at school makes fun of me. And it's not like these are the cool kids. They're not quarterbacks, Engineers!"

havenomoney.wav(74K) havenomoney.mp3(74K) havenomoney.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "But, Wh-- Why do you wanna live with me?"
Michael: "Well, uh, this may not be a big selling point but I have no money for rent."

mademetouchem.wav(59K) mademetouchem.mp3(59K) mademetouchem.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "I just have to get outta there. Have you seen the brests?"
Joey: "Seen, 'em? She made me touch 'em!"

thatbigofadrop.wav(93K) thatbigofadrop.mp3(93K) thatbigofadrop.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Allison (Ashley Scott): "Hi!"
Joey: "(Joey screams and falls off the ledge) Actually not that big of a drop."

lasagnaat730.wav(259K) lasagnaat730.mp3(259K) lasagnaat730.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Allison: "Um, I'm Allison. I live next door."
Joey: "Really, oh, uh, I'm Joey. I just moved in. Say, I-- I was about to eat. Do you want some? I got home made lasagna."
Allison: "It's 7:30 in the mornin'."
Joey: "Oh, right, I'm still on New York time. Huh."
Allison: "So you eat lasagna at 10:30?"
Joey: "No, I eat lasagna at 7:30, but it seemed like a big deal to you. So--."

imanactor.wav(240K) imanactor.mp3(240K) imanactor.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "You see, uh, I'm an actor."
Allison: "Ah, that's so cute. You think it's a big deal to be an actor. Everyone here is an actor."
Joey: "What?"
Allison: "That guy in that apartment, actor. Actor, actor, porn actor."
Joey: "Really?"
Allison: "Yeah. He lives above me. It's not the best."
Joey: "Oh."

romeoromeo.wav(307K) romeoromeo.mp3(307K) romeoromeo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Uh, I'm-- I'm actually a very serious actor, you know. Romeo, oh, Romeo, where for art thou, Romeo? That was Romeo."
Allison: "Actually, that was Juliet."
Joey: "What?"
Allison: "Romeo would'n have started his speach with 'Romeo, Romeo'."
Joey: "I've done that for like a million aditions!"

davidcassidy.wav(202K) davidcassidy.mp3(202K) davidcassidy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "I can't have her mad at me. When we were kids, she used to torture me. She him me all the time. She used to hold me down and force me to say 'I am gay for David Cassidy'."
Michael: "Who is that?"
Joey: "David Cassidy? From the Partridge Family, really good lookin-- Oh, the point is I don't want her mad at me. Okay? I'm sorry."

bigfakeboobsandcrazy.wav(70K) bigfakeboobsandcrazy.mp3(70K) bigfakeboobsandcrazy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "You are not gonna belive this. The director thought I was an actress."
Joey: "Well, sure. That's 'cause you have big fake boobs and you're crazy."

71poorbastards.wav(93K) 71poorbastards.mp3(93K) 71poorbastards.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "I love it out here, sunny and 72 degrees eweryday. I wonder what it's like in New York."
Gina: "71."
Joey: "Poor bastards."

buyherhair.wav(241K) buyherhair.mp3(241K) buyherhair.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "You have very beautiful hair."
Allison: "Thank you very much."
Gina: "Hey, if you ever wanna sell it, give me a call."
Allison: "Thanks."
Joey: "Hey, I liked that girl, okay. Don't be trying to her hair. She could be the future Mrs. Joey Tribbiani, or at the very least, the future akward situation."

disgusting.wav(147K) disgusting.mp3(147K) disgusting.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "My show is dead. It's not even gonna air."
Gina: "Oh, my god. Did they say why?"
Joey: "People though it was 'Disgusting'. Geez, you deficate on one corpse--."

kickinghimself.wav(398K) kickinghimself.mp3(398K) kickinghimself.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "You think you should've done the other thing? The nurses thing?"
Joey: "Oh, no way. I mean, my thing didn't go, but believe me, no one is gonna watch a show about nurses."
Pat O'Brien (Himself): "I'm here with Sam Baxter, one of the hunky nurses of the hit new show, RN. And, Sam, I'm told that you weren't the first choice for this role."
Sam Baxter (Ethan Erickson): "Well, that's right, actually, the producers originally offered the role to someone else, an actor by the name of Joey Tribayny."
Pat O'Brien: "Well, whereever he is, I'm bet you Joey Tribayny is kicking himself."
Joey: "Tribbiani! Joey Tribbiani is kicking himself!"

cheatedmyassoff.wav(137K) cheatedmyassoff.mp3(137K) cheatedmyassoff.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "What are you cookin'?"
Michael: "Uh, spaghetti and meatballs. It's grandma's recipe."
Joey: "Ah."
Michael: "It always makes me feel better. Mom made it for me this one time-- this one time I got a B."
Joey: "Oh, I got a B once. Cheated my ass off."

turneddownnurses.wav(127K) turneddownnurses.mp3(127K) turneddownnurses.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "I can't believe it. A week ago I was the star of a show and now I'm the guy who turned down nurses. Which-- which is strange because in real life I would never turn down a nurse."

indianajones.wav(160K) indianajones.mp3(160K) indianajones.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Hey, they're making another Indiana Jones movie. Maybe you can turn that down."
Joey: "Feeling a little more comfortable around your Uncle Joe, are you?"

havethiseveryday.wav(292K) havethiseveryday.mp3(292K) havethiseveryday.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Hey, this is really nice. Thanks for doing this."
Michael: "You know, if you let me be your roomate, you can have this, like, everyday."
Joey: "Michael, look, you're a great kid and I would love to have you as my roomate, but your other will flip out. I mean, if-- (He takes a bite of the Spaghetti) You're in. (Michael tries to taste some of the spaghetti) Oh, no, no, no, no!"

dreamworld.wav(326K) dreamworld.mp3(326K) dreamworld.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Listen, uh, I know we blew it by turnng down that nurses thing, but I gotta believe there is something bigger for me right around the corner."
Bobbie Morgenstern (Jennifer Coolidge): "Listen, you are living in a dreamworld."
Joey: "Excuse me?"
Bobbie: "That nurses show is huge. Everyone involved with it is gonna become insanely rich and it's gonna haunt you for the rest of your life. But my job is to keep up your morale."
Joey: "I do feel better."

thatsgross.wav(191K) thatsgross.mp3(191K) thatsgross.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Bobbie: "There is nothing that I wouldn't do for you. I would throw on a meat skirt and wrestle a lion. I would pull off my own ears and eat them."
Joey: "That's... gross!"

findyouashow.wav(128K) findyouashow.mp3(128K) findyouashow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Bobbie: "Next year I am gonna find you a show that'll blow this nurses thing right out of the-- Oh what the hell am I saying. Nothing's gonna top that!"

igotnothin.wav(131K) igotnothin.mp3(131K) igotnothin.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Ah w-- uh, h-hold on, next year? No, no, no. I need to get something now."
Bobbie: "Well I got nothin', zero, zilch, nada!"

tremendoushead.wav(136K) tremendoushead.mp3(136K) tremendoushead.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "There's gotta be somethin'!"
Bobbie: "Well, they do need a host for this entertainment news show. It's not really acting, but it may work since you have such a tremendous head."

cantbemad.wav(112K) cantbemad.mp3(112K) cantbemad.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Hey, any sign of my stuff? Have the movers called?"
Gina: "No."
Joey: "Stupid Movers and Shakers. I can't be mad at those guys."

dentaltechnition.wav(227K) dentaltechnition.mp3(227K) dentaltechnition.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "But if you think about it, Gina, this could be a good thing. You, uh-- You could have more time for your hairdressin'."
Gina: "Oh, please. I'm not much of a hairdresser anyways. I only started cuttin' hair because channel 5 exposed me as the southland's most dangerous dental technition."
Joey: "Yeah, that was some damning footage."

inacape.wav(209K) inacape.mp3(209K) inacape.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "Okay, we've got a big problem. I just told mom I was moving out. She went crazy. I-- I don't know what she's gonna do when she hears I'm living with you."
Joey: "(Gina hears everything as she walks in) Well, let's find out!"
Michael: "Why didn't you tell me she was here?"
Joey: "You couldn't tell I was gettin' a haircut? You think I just walk around my apartment in a cape?!"

hesgonnalivehere.wav(125K) hesgonnalivehere.mp3(125K) hesgonnalivehere.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "He's gonna live here? Are you kidding me?"
Michael: "Mom, look, this was my idea."
Joey: "That's true."
Gina: "Sure. I bet you landed and right away he begged you 'Please, get me away from my mother!'."
Joey and Michael: "(Stammering) Uhhhhh."

manorawoman.wav(184K) manorawoman.mp3(184K) manorawoman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Director (Lawrence Mandley): "Okay, Joey, the audition's very simple: Three cameras, each one has a teleprompter, beneath the lense and a red light on top, whichever camera is lit, that's the camera you address, producer watching from that monitor."
Joey: "Geez, is that a man or a woman?"
Director: "And you're mic'ed."

bestwaytodothis.wav(215K) bestwaytodothis.mp3(215K) bestwaytodothis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Welcome to Hollywood Minute. I'm Joey Tribbiani and here are today's top stories. Well, even though she's on vacation..."
Director: "Uh, Joey, you didn't switch cameras."
Joey: "Huh, did the light change?"
Director: "Yeah. Even though you're reading, you need to be aware of when the light changes."
Joey: "That's really the best way to do this?"

reallyfastredlight.wav(148K) reallyfastredlight.mp3(148K) reallyfastredlight.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Allison: "What's wrong?"
Joey: "I... I just blew an audition to host this stupid entertainment show."
Allison: "Is that even acting?"
Joey: "No, it's just following a really fast red light."

notonyourlefthand.wav(289K) notonyourlefthand.mp3(289K) notonyourlefthand.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Would you maybe wanna grab a bite to eat or..."
Allison: "Ah, it sounds nice. I can't. I have to go to the airport and pick up my husband."
Joey: "Oh, you're married?"
Allison: "You didn't see the ring?"
Joey: "Y-- Yeah, yeah, I saw a ring, but it's not on your left hand."
Allison: "Yeah it is."
Joey: "(He looks at his own hands trying to figure out which on is left) If you say so."

mystuttercomeback.wav(70K) mystuttercomeback.mp3(70K) mystuttercomeback.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Hey, did you know that girl next door is married?"
Michael: "Oh, I can't talk to that girl. Shhhhe makes my stutter come back."

needasignal.wav(152K) needasignal.mp3(152K) needasignal.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Michael: "I'm not gonna be your roomate."
Joey: "What? Why?"
Michael: "I dunno, I talked it over with my mom and she was..."
Joey: "Oh, Michael, don't listen to her. She's a selfish, crazy-- Okay, need a signal for when she's here!"

idoshave.wav(114K) idoshave.mp3(114K) idoshave.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Oh, look, Gina, this is nuts! He's a man, okay? He's graduated college. He shaves. He sleeps with women."
Michael: "I- I do shave."

givingchangeashot.wav(560K) givingchangeashot.mp3(560K) givingchangeashot.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Joey: "Look, Gina, I know he's your baby, but it's time to move on. Change can be good."
Gina: "Oh, it's easy for you to say."
Joey: "No, it's not! No. Look... Nobody understands wanting things to stay the same like I do. I was happy in New York! Okay? And I tried relly hard to keep things from changing. But everyone else got- got married and had kids and moved on. They all changed. So I'm giving change a shot... and it has been hard. But... okay, just hoping things stay the same, it doesn't work."
Gina: "You smarter ttan you used to be?"
Joey: "Nah, I don't know where that came from."

howithappens.wav(137K) howithappens.mp3(137K) howithappens.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "You know he's a slob, right? You know how you like everything nice and clean and in it's own little place? There's gonna be sauce on everything you own."
Joey: "I don't know how it happens."

yougaveyourspeach.wav(114K) yougaveyourspeach.mp3(11K) yougaveyourspeach.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "I'm just gonna miss you, that's all. It's been the two of us for such a long time."
Joey: "Yeah, well, now it's the three of us."
Gina: "You gave your speach, enough."

calculouswheniwas8.wav(240K) calculouswheniwas8.mp3(240K) calculouswheniwas8.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "You sure you're gonna be okay?"
Joey: "Gina, he's gonna be fine. He's old enough to move out. You were raising a kid when you were sixteen."
Michael: "How did I not figure that out? I mean, I- I took calculous when I was eight!"

gay4davidcassidy.wav(103K) gay4davidcassidy.mp3(103K) gay4davidcassidy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Gina: "You're dead."
Joey: "Okay, now, Gina, back off. I don't want to hurt you."
Gina: "Oh yeah? (She grabs him by the ear)"
Joey: "I'm gay for David Cassidy!"

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