All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

02/05/98
kickbutt.wav(71K) kickbutt.mp3(71K)

Charleton Heston: "Put some pants on kid so I can kick your butt."

lapdance.wav(61K) lapdance.mp3(61K)

Monica: "I think somebody needs another lap dance."

nakdgrls.wav(53K) nakdgrls.mp3(53K)

Phoebe: "Come with us and watch naked girls dance around!"

01/29/98
cks_porn.wav(61K) cks_porn.mp3(61K)

Ross: "Cookies and porn - you're the best mom ever!"

howdoing.wav(53K) howdoing.mp3(53K)

Joey: "Hey, how you doin'..."

howdong2.wav(34K) howdong2.mp3(34K)

Rachel: "How you doin'..."

nghtmare.wav(131K) nghtmare.mp3(131K)

Chandler: "It's like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me thirty-two dollars to see it!"

showundr.wav(25K) showundr.mp3(25K)

Rachel: "Let me show you my underwear."

slut.wav(22K) slut.mp3(22K)

Chandler: "Slut!"

01/15/98
fetus.wav(262K) fetus.mp3(262K)

Phoebe: "The Fetus Song"

tenbucks.wav(161K) tenbucks.mp3(161K)

Chandler: "Alright, ten bucks. Fork it over, cough it up, pay the piper. Gimmie it."

01/08/98 - Phoebe brother wants her to be a surrogate mother. Monica explains a woman's erogenous zones.
pudding.wav(308K) pudding.mp3(308K)

Rhonda: "Peter! Hey Peter, it's me Rhonda, from PS129! I shared my pudding with you man! I gave you my snack pack!"

seven.wav(771K) seven.mp3((771K)K)

Monica: "The female erogenous zones - "Seven seven seven!"

squat.wav(109K) squat.mp3(109K)

Joey: "I'm Joey. I'm an actor. I don't know squat about dinosaurs."

stupid.wav(33K) stupid.mp3(33K)

Monica: "You're stupid."

12/18/97 - Monica stands up for herself at her new job. Ross has a long-distance relationship.
flung.wav(78K) flung.mp3(78K)

Rachel: "Let me tell you something, it's been a long time since I've been flung."

nevrtalk.wav(50K) nevrtalk.mp3(50K)

Rachel: "You should never be allowed to talk to people!"

xmasong1.wav(331K) xmasong1.mp3(331K)

: "Phoebe's first Christmas Song"

xmasong2.wav(1148K) xmasong2.mp3(1148K)

: "Phoebe's second Christmas Song"

12/11/97 - Rachel's promotion falls through when her boss dies. Ross, Joey and Chandler are all partied out.
mayvomit.wav(54K) mayvomit.mp3(54K)

Chandler: "Oh man, I'm so excited I may vomit."

so_party.wav(71K) so_party.mp3(71K)

Ross: "Dude, we are so gonna party!"

useless.wav(75K) useless.mp3(75K)

Joanne: "Congratulations, you just crossed the line into completely useless. Get out."

11/20/97 - Chandler spends six hours in a box. Monica dates Richard's son.
ughtrcky.wav(109K) ughtrcky.mp3(109K)

Chandler: "Ugh, turkey... Ugh, giving thanks... Ugh..."

11/13/97 - Chandler kisses Joey's girlfriend. Ross thinks he can play the keyboard.
playfnky.wav(46K) playfnky.mp3(46K)

Phoebe: "Come on, play that funky music white boy."

rossong1.wav(522K) rossong1.mp3(522K)

Ross: "Ross plays his keyboard"

rossong2.wav(446K) rossong2.mp3(446K)

Ross: "Ross plays his keyboard"

11/06/97 - Ross goes out with a slob. Monica and Phoebe almost get stiffed while catering a funeral. Chandler buys Joey's girlfriend the perfect birthday present.
assonher.wav(42K) assonher.mp3(42K)

Monica: "Did you see the ass on her?"

comepapa.wav(34K) comepapa.mp3(34K)

Phoebe: "Oh come to papa..."

10/30/97 - Chandler is in love with Joeyt's girlfriend. Phoebe's cold makes her sing better.
couldie.wav(55K) couldie.mp3(55K)

Monica & Chandler: "Oh what's the worst thing that could happen?" "I could die."

feet_mth.wav(140K) feet_mth.mp3(140K)

Chandler: "Yes yes, I was just trying to figure out a way to demonstrate how I could get my exceptionally large feet into my even bigger mouth."

secrets.wav(97K) secrets.mp3(97K)

Chandler: "I tell people secrets. It makes them like me."

10/16/97 - Joey helps the super with his dancing lessons. Phoebe bites her sexy client on the ass. Chandler tries to end his gym membership.
brstback.wav(36K) brstback.mp3(36K)

Joey: "My breasts are coming out my back."

feetflrt.wav(42K) feetflrt.mp3(42K)

Monica: "You're gonna do some feet flirting!"

manbrsts.wav(151K) manbrsts.mp3(151K)

Ross & Chandler: "Hey, don't you want a washboard stomach and rock-hard pecs?" "No, I want a flabby gut and saggy man-breasts."

schlsesn.wav(59K) schlsesn.mp3(59K)

Joey: "Alright that's it - school is in session."

suckbfre.wav(62K) suckbfre.mp3(62K)

Monica: "I mean you suck like you've never sucked before."

10/09/97
amzchndl.wav(53K) amzchndl.mp3(53K)

Chandler: "You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler."

bossofme.wav(26K) bossofme.mp3(26K)

Chandler: "You're not the boss of me."

brstrong.wav(38K) brstrong.mp3(38K)

Phoebe: "My breasts are really strong."

nkdgrbge.wav(51K) nkdgrbge.mp3(51K)

Chandler: "When I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me."

10/02/97
ripped.wav(37K) ripped.mp3(37K)

Chandler: "Wow, that ripped!"

09/25/97
hrscream.wav(58K) hrscream.mp3(58K)

Chandler: "Sometimes late at night I can still hear the screaming."

peedonme.wav(45K) peedonme.mp3(45K)

Monica: "But you will always be the guys who peed on me."

pee_you.wav(51K) pee_you.mp3(51K)

Joey: "If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you."

05/15/97
bfbumer.wav(37K) bfbumer.mp3(37K)

Rachel: "Big fat bummer..."

heyoheh.wav(57K) heyoheh.mp3(57K)

Chandler: "Hey, nice to meet ya... Hey, oh eh..."

nicebrst.wav(66K) nicebrst.mp3(66K)

Ross: "Good morning. Nice breasts, by the way."

05/08/97
dudewhat.wav(33K) dudewhat.mp3(33K)

Ross: "Dude, what are you doing?"

smakfree.wav(79K) smakfree.mp3(79K)

Chandler: "And if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack-free."

04/24/97
stepduck.wav(46K) stepduck.mp3(46K)

Chandler: "Step away from the duck."

04/17/97
oh_my.wav(25K) oh_my.mp3(25K)

Joey: "Oh my..."

04/10/97
bite_me.wav(12K) bite_me.mp3(12K)

Monica: "Bite me."

likebyou.wav(31K) likebyou.mp3(31K)

Joey: "Is this what it's like to be you?"

03/27/97
bigbigfr.wav(54K) bigbigfr.mp3(54K)

Chandler: "I'm talking about you, you big big freak."

mrmilion.wav(116K) mrmilion.mp3(116K)

Chandler: "Mr. Millionaire, new from Snooty Playthings. Third wife sold separately."

03/13/97
darkmthr.wav(81K) darkmthr.mp3(81K)

Gunther: "Oh dark mother, once again I suckle at your smokey teet."

dumbass.wav(37K) dumbass.mp3(37K)

Joey: "Well that was a nice move dumbass."

oh_no.wav(26K) oh_no.mp3(26K)

Phoebe: "Oh no..."

03/06/97 - After breaking up with Ross, Rachel takes the rest of the gang on a skiing trip, leaving Ross at home alone.
littered.wav(68K) littered.mp3(68K)

Chandler: "Well, I thought if I littered that crying Indian might come by and save us."

lung_two.wav(44K) lung_two.mp3(44K)

Chandler: "I have the lung capacity of a two-year old."

shutup_m.wav(44K) shutup_m.mp3(44K)

Chandler: "Hey shut up! You're not my real mom!"

02/20/97
how_dumb.wav(113K) how_dumb.mp3(113K)

Chandler: "Well, before we answer that I think we should address the more important question - How dumb are you?"

kicked.wav(101K) kicked.mp3(101K)

Chandler: "Well I don't think you can make that statement unless you've been kicked in an area that God only meant to be treated nicely."

02/06/97
blahblah.wav(121K) blahblah.mp3(121K)

Rachel: "Ok, see now, what I just heard, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah."

leg_fire.wav(66K) leg_fire.mp3(66K)

Monica: "What did you do after you threw her leg on the fire?"

smellyct.wav(217K) smellyct.mp3(217K)

: "Smelly Cat Commercial Jingle"

whatdone.wav(29K) whatdone.mp3(29K)

Chandler: "Oh dear God what have I done?"

01/30/97
lip_bald.wav(47K) lip_bald.mp3(47K)

Monica: "Wow, your lip went bald."

01/16/97
cry_loud.wav(25K) cry_loud.mp3(25K)

Chandler: "Don't cry out loud."

geeks.wav(46K) geeks.mp3(46K)

Ross: "Botanists are such geeks!"

ohnonono.wav(66K) ohnonono.mp3(66K)

Chandler: "Oh no no no no!"

01/09/97
out_mind.wav(115K) out_mind.mp3(115K)

Monica & Ross: "Are you crazy?" "Oh, am I? Am I? Am I out of my mind? Am I losing my senses?"

12/12/96
c_dude.wav(67K) c_dude.mp3(67K)

Ross: "They call me... Cookie Dude!"

drnksnta.wav(102K) drnksnta.mp3(102K)

Chandler: "Well, seeing that drunk Santa wet himself really perked up my Christmas."

look_out.wav(37K) look_out.mp3(37K)

Chandler: "Look out kids, he coming!"

mecomput.wav(34K) mecomput.mp3(34K)

Chandler: "Me, on my computer."

11/14/96 - Naked Fat Guy appears to be dead after Phoebe has a visit with her dentist. Chandler finds out that Janice was kissing her ex-husband. Monica gives Ben a good bump on the noggin when Ross lets her and Rachel babysit.
blodbath.wav(77K) blodbath.mp3(77K)

Rachel: "It's just like a bloodbath in here today!"

hubabuba.wav(27K) hubabuba.mp3(27K)

Chandler: "Have a hubba bubba birthday."

said_2.wav(28K) said_2.mp3(28K)

Joey: "You said number two."

11/07/96 - Joey teaches soap opera acting to other inspiring actors. Monica gets a different bed than the one she purchased. Ross spends an agonizing dinner with Rachel and her father.
hehegood.wav(37K) hehegood.mp3(37K)

Chandler: "Hey hey good lookin'..."

suprhero.wav(117K) suprhero.mp3(117K)

Chandler: "If I was a superhero who could fly and be invisible, that would be the best."

wank.wav(30K) wank.mp3(30K)

Chandler: "What a wank!"

10/31/96 - A look at the gang three years earlier when they all met for the first time.
dirtymth.wav(41K) dirtymth.mp3(41K)

Phoebe: "It's like a dirty math problem."

spill.wav(57K) spill.mp3(57K)

Phoebe: "I need to live in a land where people can spill."

10/17/96 - Phoebe spends the weekend hanging out with her brother. Joey becomes Mr. Handyman and does some remodeling. Ross makes a list of five movie stars he's allowed to sleep with.
cinderl.wav(70K) cinderl.mp3(70K)

Phoebe: "Build the unit Cinderellie, lay the tile Cinderellie."

kndblows.wav(34K) kndblows.mp3(34K)

Phoebe: "So far, it kinda blows."

printed.wav(45K) printed.mp3(45K)

Ross: "You know, Chandler printed it up on his computer."

10/10/96 - Janice freaks out when Chandler wants her to move in with him. Ross is disturbed by Ben playing with Barbie dolls, so he 'suggests' GI Joe. Phoebe acts as Joeys agent to get him some new parts.
arh_arh.wav(58K) arh_arh.mp3(58K)

Ross: "Ross imitates the dinosaur soldier"

desp4luv.wav(52K) desp4luv.mp3(52K)

Chandler: "I'm hopeless and ackward and desperate for love!"

gijoe.wav(43K) gijoe.mp3(43K)

Joey: "GI Joe!? Cool, can I play?"

go_joe.wav(120K) go_joe.mp3(120K)

Ross: "Look Ben, it's a toy that protects US oil interests overseas. Go Joe!"

pee_wind.wav(30K) pee_wind.mp3(30K)

Joey: "Pee into the wind!"

sad_life.wav(43K) sad_life.mp3(43K)

Phoebe: "What a sad little life she must lead."

weenie.wav(41K) weenie.mp3(41K)

Monica: "What are you being such a weenie for?"

09/26/96 - Ross looses his cool while in a rush to get everyone ready for a party at the museum. Joey and Chandler fight over a chair and generally act childish. :)
aroused.wav(53K) aroused.mp3(53K)

Chandler: "Is it wrong that I was totally aroused by that?"

badplace.wav(52K) badplace.mp3(52K)

Chandler: "I think you've gone over to the bad place."

cmndo1.wav(54K) cmndo1.mp3(54K)

Joey: "I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues."

cmndo2.wav(27K) cmndo2.mp3(27K)

Rachel: "I'm going commando too..."

dillhole.wav(46K) dillhole.mp3(46K)

Chandler: "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"

nooooo.wav(38K) nooooo.mp3(38K)

Monica: "Monica screams!"

pass_pie.wav(39K) pass_pie.mp3(39K)

Joey: "Joey imitates the answering machine"

yeah.wav(22K) yeah.mp3(22K)

Joey: "Joey cheers"

09/19/96 - Season Premire! Joey has a hard time adjusting to Chandler's new girlfriend - Janice! Ross tells Rachel about his "Star Wars" fantasy.
fun_day.wav(66K) fun_day.mp3(66K)

Janice: "Joey and Janice's Day of Fun!"

goldbkni.wav(31K) goldbkni.mp3(31K)

Chandler: "Princess Leia and the gold bikini..."

grownup.wav(22K) grownup.mp3(22K)

Chandler: "I'm such a grownup."

notscare.wav(44K) notscare.mp3(44K)

Ross: "I said share, not scare!"

pee.wav(41K) pee.mp3(41K)

Monica: "I'm still awake, and now I have to pee."

realthng.wav(73K) realthng.mp3(73K)

Chandler: "I think this could be the Real Thing. Capital R, capital T."

sex_mom.wav(63K) sex_mom.mp3(63K)

Joey: "I always picture your mom when I'm having sex."

so_sad.wav(23K) so_sad.mp3(23K)

Rachel: "That is so sad."

why_why.wav(62K) why_why.mp3(62K)

Chandler: "Why why why why why why why would they do this?"

yanking.wav(33K) yanking.mp3(33K)

Joey: "Come on... Quit yanking me."

06/06/96 - Rachel and Monica fight over Jean-Claude Van Damme Chandler's date with Julia Roberts takes an embarrasing turn when she leaves him stranded wearing only women's underwear.
allboys.wav(276K) allboys.mp3(276K)

Chandler & Julia Roberts: "God is making up for sending him to an all boys school."

defense.wav(129K) defense.mp3(129K)

Chandler: "Yes, back then I used humor as a defense mechanism. Thank god I don't do that anymore."

exctword.wav(62K) exctword.mp3(62K)

Chandler: "I believe my exact words were flkajsrlkstn."

im_cute.wav(26K) im_cute.mp3(26K)

Jean Claude Van Damme: "You don't think I'm cute?"

im_done.wav(79K) im_done.mp3(79K)

Chandler: "Stick a fork in my, I am done."

kicksome.wav(41K) kicksome.mp3(41K)

Phoebe: "Ok, now I'm gonna kick some ass!"

swell.wav(23K) swell.mp3(23K)

Chandler: "You're swell."

tushie.wav(21K) tushie.mp3(21K)

Ross: "Hi tushie!"

05/30/96 - Joey has a stalker (Brooke Shields). Phoebe sings at the library with the help of Chris Isaak. Ross goes to LA to find Marcel.
attitude.wav(38K) attitude.mp3(38K)

Chandler: "All of a sudden I had this big attitude problem."

bisexual.wav(459K) bisexual.mp3(459K)

Phoebe: "The Bisexual Song"

boff.wav(63K) boff.mp3(63K)

Chandler: "What are you looking at me for? He's the one that wants to boff the maniac."

cartoon.wav(118K) cartoon.mp3(118K)

Chandler: "Yes, hitting her with a frying pan is a good idea. We might want to have a backup plan though just in case she isn't a cartoon."

cowburgr.wav(253K) cowburgr.mp3(253K)

Phoebe: "The Hamburger Song"

grandma.wav(749K) grandma.mp3(749K)

Phoebe: "The Grandma Song"

i_rock.wav(27K) i_rock.mp3(27K)

Phoebe: "Yeah, I rock!"

kissme.wav(87K) kissme.mp3(87K)

Phoebe and Chris Isaack: "She's about to get a kiss"

oooiknow.wav(46K) oooiknow.mp3(46K)

Phoebe and kids: "Ooooooh. I know."

rdiostar.wav(51K) rdiostar.mp3(51K)

Chandler: "That's how radio stars escape stalkers!"

smelly2.wav(582K) smelly2.mp3(582K)

Phoebe and Chris Isaack: "The Smelly Cat song"

tricky.wav(25K) tricky.mp3(25K)

Joey: "Yeah that was a tricky one."

05/16/96 - Monica and Ross go to her ex-fiance's wedding. Joey tries out for an acting part, but has to kiss a guy. Chandler reunites with Janice after unknowingly finding her on the Internet.
bingbong.wav(125K) bingbong.mp3(125K)

Phoebe: "That's like the tenth bing bong message she's sent."

breakhip.wav(115K) breakhip.mp3(115K)

Phoebe: "If you don't meet her now you're gonna be kicking yourself when you're eighty which is hard to do and that's how you break a hip."

cutest.wav(72K) cutest.mp3(72K)

Chandler: "He's the cutest..."

cybrchk.wav(46K) cybrchk.mp3(46K)

Phoebe: "So how's your date with your cyberchick going?"

deadbody.wav(33K) deadbody.mp3(33K)

Ross: "Over my dead body."

dreamy.wav(40K) dreamy.mp3(40K)

Phoebe: "I think my boyfriend is ever so dreamy."

falldown.wav(42K) falldown.mp3(42K)

Chandler: "How do you not fall down more?"

geek.wav(33K) geek.mp3(33K)

Monica: "Woohoo, geek!"

kiss_agn.wav(35K) kiss_agn.mp3(35K)

Phoebe: "I've kissed him before. I can do it again."

sheep.wav(49K) sheep.mp3(49K)

Chandler: "I'm sorry, we don't have your sheep."

stud.wav(36K) stud.mp3(36K)

Monica: "Woohoo, stud!"

talking.wav(78K) talking.mp3(78K)

Chandler: "Well, we haven't actually met. We just stayed up all night talking on the Internet."

tender.wav(88K) tender.mp3(88K)

Phoebe: "Good, very good. Firm but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend."

thatkind.wav(51K) thatkind.mp3(51K)

Ross: "Yeah, cause life's just that kind."

thatlike.wav(57K) thatlike.mp3(57K)

Rachel: "Wow, what's that like?"

website.wav(21K) website.mp3(21K)

Chandler: "Ahhh, it's a web site."

05/09/96 - Phoebe reunites with her Navy guy Ryan (Charlie Sheen) while she has chicken pox. Chandler and Ross battle bullies at Central Perk. Monica and Richard discuss their quirks. Joey plays a data processor at Chandler's office.
barnbutt.wav(67K) barnbutt.mp3(67K)

Monica: "He's just gonna be so glad you don't have barnacles on your butt."

c-21.wav(100K) c-21.mp3(100K)

Chandler: "Do you have to be a Century 21 real estate agent to get to wear those really cool jackets?"

custer.wav(48K) custer.mp3(48K)

Chandler: "All right, hang on a second there Custer."

disease.wav(57K) disease.mp3(57K)

Phoebe: "Ok, this is the most romantic disease I've ever had."

finger.wav(47K) finger.mp3(47K)

Phoebe: "It's such a shame you can't see what finger I'm holding up."

goesdown.wav(69K) goesdown.mp3(69K)

Rachel: "So wait, this guy goes down for like two years at a time?"

gross.wav(206K) gross.mp3(206K)

Rachel and Joey: "Joey offers Rachel part of his olive loaf sandwich"

hi.wav(15K) hi.mp3(15K)

Ross and Chandler: "Hi."

kill_you.wav(46K) kill_you.mp3(46K)

Chandler: "Well, I'm going to kill you."

lickmufn.wav(35K) lickmufn.mp3(35K)

Monica: "That'll teach you to lick my muffin."

notmotto.wav(142K) notmotto.mp3(142K)

Joey: "That is so not my motto."

no_one.wav(36K) no_one.mp3(36K)

Chandler: "Oh no, wait a minute, I have no one."

pntyraid.wav(89K) pntyraid.mp3(89K)

Richard: "Oh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for."

stoptalk.wav(44K) stoptalk.mp3(44K)

Chandler: "Stop talking, stop talking now."

whahuh.wav(54K) whahuh.mp3(54K)

Ross: "On behalf of everyone I'd just like to say whahuh."

whatjust.wav(17K) whatjust.mp3(17K)

Chandler: "What just happened?"

yeahbing.wav(41K) yeahbing.mp3(41K)

Joey: "Yeah Bing, what's that about?"

Reruns
dont_tch.wav(42K) dont_tch.mp3(42K)

Chandler: "Don't touch the computer. Don't ever touch the computer."

games.wav(362K) games.mp3(362K)

Chandler & Phoebe: "Alright, check out this bad boy. Twelve megabytes of RAM, 500 megabyte hard drive, built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS." "Wow, what are you going to use it for?" "Games and stuff..."

playdoom.wav(26K) playdoom.mp3(26K)

Chandler: "You guys want to play Doom?"

press100.wav(48K) press100.mp3(48K)

Chandler: "Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times."

watchtrk.wav(33K) watchtrk.mp3(33K)

Chandler: "Are you watching Star Trek!?"

wontprnt.wav(33K) wontprnt.mp3(33K)

Chandler: "I'm telling you, this thing won't print."