Movie Quotes - Movie Sounds - Movie Wavs
 


 

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All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 22Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).


myhoursup.wav(509K) myhoursup.mp3(268K) myhoursup.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Neil (Seth Rogen): "Shitballs!"
Carl: "What's that?"
Neil: "It's my alarm. My hour's up. That's it for me."
Carl: "What, are you kidding me?"
Neil: "Bullshit."
Carl: "Where-- Where are you going?"
Neil: "I've got to go meet my wife and watch Sisterhood of the Traveling Ya-Ya Pants. I dont't-- How late do you get to stay out? I used to have midnight. Do you get midnight? 'Cause I was late once, and..."
Carl: "I'm a grown man, Neil. I don't have a curfew."
Neil: "Not yet you don't."


shitballs.wav(43K) shitballs.mp3(20K) shitballs.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Neil: "Shitballs!"


.wav(189K) .mp3(86K) .m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Carl: "Where-- Where are you going?"
Neil: "I've got to go meet my wife and watch Sisterhood of the Traveling Ya-Ya Pants. I dont't--"


humpaway.wav(388K) humpaway.mp3(177K) humpaway.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randy Dupree (Owen Wilson): "Listen, we're all adults here. You're newlyweds. Making love's big part of that. You're supposed to explore each other. I git it. Come on, if this situation's gonna work, we've gotta be honest with each other. Now, go on. Enjoy yourselves. I'm not gonna listen. Hump away. Go on, get out of here. Good night."
Carl: "Okay."


changethename.wav(411K) changethename.mp3(187K) changethename.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Thompson (Micheal Douglas): "The Oaks at Mesa Vista. This is exciting, isn't it? Stunning. Just stunning. (Overlooking an open plain.)"
Carl: "You know, sir, if we're not gonna have any trees, maybe we should consider changing the name."
Mr. Thompson: "No, no, no. I love the name."




hyphen.wav(686K) hyphen.mp3(312K) hyphen.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Thompson: "You know, in certain Asian cultures, Carl, the husband takes the wife's name. "
Carl: "Wait a minute. You just said a man's legacy is his name."
Mr. Thompson: "Alright. What about a hyphen?"
Carl: "A hyphen?"
Mr. Thompson: "Yeah."
Carl: "I could ask Molly, but I don't think she-- Wait a minute. You mean me. You mean I'm supposed to hyphen."
Mr. Thompson: "Well, then you can still use your own name, only you'll be hyphenating it. It' win-win."
Carl: "With all due respect, not for me it isn't, sir."
Mr. Thompson: "Alright, forget it. You're obviously upset about it. You know, and I'm sorry I even brought it up."


interview.wav(752K) interview.mp3(342K) interview.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Personnel Manager: "So, why don't you describe yourself, Mr. Dupree."
Dupree: "I'm a people person. Very personable. I absolutely insist on enjoying life. Um, not so task-oriented. I'm not a workhorse. If you're looking for a Clydesdale, I'm probably not your man. Like, I don't live to work. It's more the other way around. I work to live. Um, incidentally, what's your policy on Columbus Day?"
Personnel Manager: "Uh, we, we work."
Dupree: "Really? The guy discovered the New World. I'm afraid to even ask about Victory over Japan Day."


donttellannie.wav(116K) donttellannie.mp3(53K) donttellannie.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Molly Peterson (Kate Hudson): "So, don't tell Annie I was here. And if you do, don't... Just don't tell her that I asked you not to..."
Neil: "Get out, Neil. Out!"
Molly: "Okay, I'll just go."


toservenachos.wav(243K) toservenachos.mp3(111K) toservenachos.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Molly: "Oh, look. Look at that. It's my Grandmother's silver cheese platter. You used it to serve nachos."
Carl: "Well, nachos have cheese in them."


badboys.wav(335K) badboys.mp3(153K) badboys.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dupree: "Go, go, go away! The party's over! (Doorbell rings and Molly walks toward the door.) Party... Mol, Molly, for the love of God! Please!"
Stripper: "We heard there were some bad boys in here."
Dupree: "There were, but they left."


heartofalion.wav(159K) heartofalion.mp3(73K) heartofalion.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dupree: "You got the heart of a damn lion. I respect you. You took a beating, but you took it like a man."


comedownonyou.wav(569K) comedownonyou.mp3(259K) comedownonyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Carl: "I don't mean to come down on you, but you need to start getting your life together. We're grown-ups now."
Dupree: "Yeah."
Carl: "You know what I mean?"
Dupree: "I know. I know. You're right."
Carl: "And if you're going to stay here, things are going to be different from now on. No more naked stuff."
Dupree: "Well it felt natural to be naked."
Carl: "I don't care."
Dupree: "Okay."
Carl: "I do not care. Clean up after yourself, watch the noise, try to help out around the house, please? It's not too much to ask."


listentome.wav(260K) listentome.mp3(119K) listentome.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Carl: "I'm gonna need you to fill in for me at Molly's school."
Dupree: "No, no, no. Not this time. "
Carl: "What?"
Dupree: "No, no, I'm talking to Lance Armstrong. He's trying to break away from the pack. I got him, though."
Carl: "Would you quit dicking around with you little Huffy bike and listen to me?"


theutmost.wav(369K) theutmost.mp3(168K) theutmost.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dupree: "First of all, thank you for giving me the opportunity to come talk to you on Career Day. Now, I am not Mr. Carl Peterson and I don't have a career per se. I guess you could say my career is living and loving. And I do that to the utmost."


kidlets.wav(195K) kidlets.mp3(887K) kidlets.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dupree: "I see all you fresh-faced kidlets, sitting there in your neat little rows, and you're all just pods. Pods, waiting for your instructions. Now, some of you are gonna get zapped right away and be 15-year-old prodigies, little midget Olympic gymnasts with their pictures on cereal boxes. Some of you will go on to college, and you'll find your rhythm there, then go chase down the titans of industry, or maybe straighten out our problems at the UN. But some of you, and this is the group that no one ever comes into Career Day and addresses, and it's criminal. Some of you are just gonna float along, eating spicy foods, humming black people's music into your 30s. Well into your 30s, languishing. This group of pods is gonna do a lot of languishing. And you're gonna take some heat for it. Sadly, you will. Europe's a little easier. They seem to understand a little better. So does South America. I went to Argentina one time, and everyone seemed to be sitting around. It was beautiful. But, that's okay. You stay loose. Stay liquid. Laugh a lot. But be ready. That's what Dupree's doing with his life's little pod. Staying nimble, till I get the call from the mother ship. My raison d'etat. Then I fight. Then you'll see Dupree coming in here throwing seven different kinds of smoke!


audreyhepburns.wav(83K) audreyhepburns.mp3(38K) audreyhepburns.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dupree: "There really aren't any Audrey Hepburns out there, are there?"


vasectomy.wav(1220K) vasectomy.mp3(554K) vasectomy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mr. Thompson: "You know, there's something you said to me a few days ago that I just cannot get out of my mind. Something about you and Molly having children."
Carl: "Oh, right. Yeah, no. That was-- That was hypothetical. That's not something that we're talking about doing any time soon."
Mr. Thompson: "You know what I did, Carl, when I started dating again?"
Carl: "No idea."
Mr. Thompson: "I got a vasectomy."
Carl: "A vasectomy?"
Mr. Thompson: "Yeah."
Carl: "Okay. That's a little bit extreme, don't you think?"
Mr. Thompson: "Not really. It's a mild outpatient procedure. A little local anesthesia, snip, snip, sit on a bag of frozen peas for a night. Voila. I mean, that was it, and it's... one hundred percent effective."
Carl: "Yeah. And one hundred percent permanent."
Mr. Thompson: "Carl, read the literature. It is reversible... seventy percent of the time."


funkycoldmedina.wav(485K) funkycoldmedina.mp3(221K) funkycoldmedina.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Molly: "So, you really were serious about Audrey Hepburn, huh?"
Dupree: "She had it all. Style, grace, ethereal, beauty. Just like I thought Mandy did."
Molly: "I don't know. I have a hard time imagining Audrey Hepburn getting buttered up to Funky Cold Medina."
Dupree: "Really? I don't."


getsmeeverytime.wav(58K) getsmeeverytime.mp3(27K) getsmeeverytime.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dupree: "That gets me every time and I know it's coming."


hedoesntknowthat.wav(267K) hedoesntknowthat.mp3(122K) hedoesntknowthat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Carl: "Now, everybody knows that your father, when he likes somebody, he invites them out on a little fishing trip. Fact. I've never been invited fishing. Not once."
Molly: "You hate fishing."
Carl: "He doesn't know that."


beoffended.wav(877K) beoffended.mp3(399K) beoffended.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Carl: "Would you be offended if Thompson asked you to get a Vasectomy?"
Dupree: "What? Why would he want me to get a vasectomy? Carl, I barely know the man!"
Carl: "Shh! Wait a minute! Wait, Dupree!"
Dupree: "Yes, I'd be offended!"
Carl: "No, not you. That's not what I mean. Just, what do you think of vasectomies?"
Dupree: "Cutting off my manhood? I think it's barbaric. No one's getting near that part of my body. No one, Carl. Unless, of course, it's a woman. An then, she had better not have a scalpel."
Carl: "Of course."
Dupree: "Why would he want me to get a vasectomy?"
Carl: "He doesn't want you to get a vasectomy. It was a hypothetical question."
Dupree: "Okay."
Carl: "Just forget I asked."
Dupree: "Don't joke with me like that, man."
Carl: "Go back to your reading."


haveascalpel.wav(296K) haveascalpel.mp3(135K) haveascalpel.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Carl: "Just, what do you think of vasectomies?"
Dupree: "Cutting off my manhood? I think it's barbaric. No one's getting near that part of my body. No one, Carl. Unless, of course, it's a woman. An then, she had better not have a scalpel."


withonetesticle.wav(189K) withonetesticle.mp3(87K) withonetesticle.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Carl: "You get your first ten-speed bike, and suddenly you're Lance Armstrong."
Dupree: "Let's leave Lance out of this. Guy's done more with one testicle than you and I can do with three."


justaphase.wav(669K) justaphase.mp3(304K) justaphase.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Molly: "I didn't realize you were such an outdoorsman, Carl. Asian Assult?"
Carl: "Molly, let me explain. That one was in the wrong section of the video store."
Molly: "Oh, you're gonna lie to my face."
Carl: "I thought it was a kung fu movie with Bruce Lee."
Molly: "Really? Okay, Pacific Rim Job?"
Carl: "...no idea. Alright, well, that one I kind of knew about."
Molly: "Oh, Beijing Bang Bang? Carl! Is this what our marriage has come to? Lies and all these Chinese fetish videos? I'm just curious."
Carl: "Alright, I admit, Molly, that I was into Asian porn for a little while. But it was just a phase."


anythingworse.wav(92K) anythingworse.mp3(42K) anythingworse.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dupree: "Is there anything worse than having to throw away your porn collection?"


comingtogetit.wav(300K) comingtogetit.mp3(137K) comingtogetit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Carl: "Hello?"
Neil: "Shh, shh. Hold on. Hey, hey, Carl, Carl. It's Neil. Did you actually throw away your porn collection?"
Carl: "Look, Neil, I'm having a dinner party."
Neil: "I'm coming to get it. Going to Starbucks! Be back!"


sleazebag.wav(139K) sleazebag.mp3(64K) sleazebag.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Carl: "Listen, you sleazebag. Get off my property! I'm tired of this crap! Get the hell out of here. Go home!"


ruinedmylife.wav(194K) ruinedmylife.mp3(89K) ruinedmylife.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Carl: "Poetry, Aunt Kathy, librarian-banging, backstabbing, bike-riding, couch-burning masturbator!"
Molly: "Carl, get off of him!"
Carl: "You ruined my life!"
Molly: "Stop it!"
Carl: "You ruined my life!"


daredme.wav(220K) daredme.mp3(100K) daredme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Carl: "What are you gonna do, hit me with that thing? You gonna hit me with that thing?"
Molly: "Carl, stop it!"
Carl: "Come on! I dare you! (So, he hits him with the candlestick) Ow!"
Molly: "Dad!"
Mr. Thompson: "You dared me."


youcanthaveit.wav(127K) youcanthaveit.mp3(58K) youcanthaveit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Neil: "Don't tell me you want the porn back, because you can't have it! Why is it all Asian?"


shemakestherules.wav(673K) shemakestherules.mp3(306K) shemakestherules.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Neil: "No, fine!"
Annie (Amanda Detmer): "Tell him to leave!"
Neil: "Okay!"
Annie: "Now!"
Neil: "Fine!"
Annie: "Now!"
Neil: "I said fine! Look, uh, I don't know what you did, but she just talked to Molly. She's freaked out at you right now, man."
Carl: "Neil, what are you saying? I can't come into your house right now?"
Neil: "You cannot come in here. She said so, man. She makes the rules."
Carl: "You know what? I don't need this, Neil. I don't need this."
Neil: "I don't need this! I'm sorry!"
Annie: "Neil, get back in here!"
Neil: "She controls what I do! Guys' night. Thursday. I'll see you there."


injuriesemotional.wav(66K) injuriesemotional.mp3(31K) injuriesemotional.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dupree: "The doc says most of my injuries are emotional."


complicatedquestion.wav(365K) complicatedquestion.mp3(166K) complicatedquestion.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Molly: "Dad. I'm going to ask you something, and remember you've never lied to me before. Do you ever really want my marriage to work?"
Mr. Thompson: "That's a really complicated question, Molly."


justlostmyfriend.wav(65K) justlostmyfriend.mp3(30K) justlostmyfriend.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dupree: "I just lost my friend Carl Peterson."


probablyhappened.wav(361K) probablyhappened.mp3(165K) probablyhappened.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Carl: "My life's in the shitter right now."
Dupree: "Yes, it is. But what are you gonna do? Quit? So what if you made some mistakes. Everybody does. So what if her dad hates you. You think you're the first guy to be hated by his father-in-law? So what if he beat your ass with a candlestick. That's probably happened before."


carlness.wav(448K) carlness.mp3(204K) carlness.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dupree: "The point is, is somewhere along the road, you lost your magic. They knocked you off your game. Your Carlness went right out the window."
Carl: "What's with this 'Carlness'? It's not even a real word."
Dupree: "Yes, it is."
Carl: "Oh, it is?"
Dupree: "It's a verb. It's a conjunction, a preposition, it's a philosophy, a way of life. It's your name with 'ness' attached to it."


whatsnumberfive.wav(150K) whatsnumberfive.mp3(69K) whatsnumberfive.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dupree: "That was my number four."
Woman In Office (???): "What's number five?"
Dupree: "I can't tell you. I don't know myself."


youwantsamoa.wav(79K) youwantsamoa.mp3(36K) youwantsamoa.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Paco (Sidney S. Liufau): "You want Samoa? I'll give you Samoa!"


takenyoudownonce.wav(245K) takenyoudownonce.mp3(112K) takenyoudownonce.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Carl: "For the last fourteen hours, all I've thought about is kicking your ass."
Mr. Thompson: "Don't make me look for another candlestick, Carl. I've taken you down once. I could do it again."


prettybigcandlestick.wav(702K) prettybigcandlestick.mp3(219K) prettybigcandlestick.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Carl: "You've done everything you can to undermine me. You've tried to intimidate me. You've tried to humiliate me. You bastardized my project to the point where it's unrecognizable. But here's the thing, Bob. I don't care. I don't care about this job, and I don't care about you. I care about Molly. She means everything in the world to me. And if you're gonna stand in the way of me trying to win her back, you'd better bring a pretty big candlestick."


dontever.wav(116K) dontever.mp3(54K) dontever.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Molly: "Don't ever walk out on me again. Ever."


lanceness.wav(165K) lanceness.mp3(75K) lanceness.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Lance Armstrong (Himself): "Lanceness. Lance-ness. Lance... ness."

 
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