All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

cleancoldh2o.wav(80K) cleancoldh2o.mp3(80K)

Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr. (Adam Sandler): "It's clean. It's cold. Now, that's what I call high quality H2O."

constructive.wav(36K) constructive.mp3(36K)

Bobby: "Not eqactly what I'd call constructive criticism."

wasteanywater.wav(113K) wasteanywater.mp3(113K)

Greg Meaney (Todd Holland): "Smelt like you could use a shower, stinky!"
Bobby: "listen, you can think what you want about my personal hygene, but please, don't-- don't waste any water. That's-- That's bad policy."

yourefired.wav(101K) yourefired.mp3(101K)

Coach Red Beaulieu (Jerry Reed): "Hey waterboy!"
Bobby: "Yes, Mr. Ceach Beaulieu!"
Coach Red Beaulieu: "You're fired!"
Bobby: "Okay."

imavirgo.wav(171K) imavirgo.mp3(171K)

Bobby: "I-I was-- I was thinkin', Mama, maybe I-I could-- I could try to-to get another waterboy job for-for a-a different team."
Helen 'Mama' Boucher (Kathy Bates): "Don't you raise your voice to me, Bobby Boucher."
Bobby: "I-I wasn't raising my voice, Mama. I don't like confrontations, I'm a Virgo."

littlegirlsarethedevil.wav(68K) littlegirlsarethedevil.mp3(68K)

Mama: "I don't ever want you associatin' with little girl."
Young Bobby Boucher (Jamie Williams): "Why not, Mama?"
Mama: "Because little girls are the devil!"

needthewater.wav(80K) needthewater.mp3(80K)

Bobby: "It's just that I'm a waterboy. The team gets thirsty, and I bring them the water. They-They need the water, and I likes to be the one that brings it to them."

socialskills.wav(41K) socialskills.mp3(41K)

Mama: "You don't have what they call the social skills."

canofwhoopass.wav(26K) canofwhoopass.mp3(26K)

Captain Insano (Paul Wight): "I'm gonna open a can of whoop ass on Herculon."

iam31yearsold.wav(267K) iam31yearsold.mp3(267K)

Bobby: "Captain Insano, I notice sometimes when you are wrestling-- or-or openin' up a can of whoop-ass, as you like to say, you seem to be sweating quite profusely."
Captain Insano: "Yeah?"
Bobby: "I was wondering if, perhaps, you might need the services of an experienced waterboy."
Captain Insano: "That's pretty cute. How old are you, kid? Eleven, twelve?"
Bobby: "I-I am 31 years old."

pretendstofake.wav(274K) pretendstofake.mp3(274K)

Coach Klein (Henry Winkler): "The quarterback. Two receivers line up to the left, one to the right. There's a flanker lined up to the left behind the quarterback."
Bobby: "Oh, okay."
Coach Klein: "He gives the ball-- No, he doesn't-- He doesn't get the ball. The receiver goes all the way over there to the left. Once the quarterback has the ball, he fakes to the left. No. He fakes to the right. He doesn't fake. He thinks about faking. He pretends to fake."

donothavetopayme.wav(215K) donothavetopayme.mp3(215K)

Bobby: "That is the water that you serve to your players?"
Coach Klein: "Uh-huh."
Bobby: "It is imperitive that you allow me to be your waerboy."
Coach Klein: "I can't hire you. I can't hire anybody with the poorest footba--"
Bobby: "You do not have to-- have to pay me. I-I will do it for free. Just promice me that you will never distribute the contents of that jug to any human person."

runsprints.wav(281K) runsprints.mp3(281K)

Farmer Fran (Blake Clark): "(Speaking indistinctly)"
Coach Klein: "Okay. Uh, just have the defense run sprints."
Farmer Fran: "(Speaking indistinctly)"

sterno.wav(146K) sterno.mp3(146K)

Derek Wallace (Larry Gilliard Jr.): "Water's better cold."
Bobby: "Yes, I agree, but to guarantee that the H2O is-is purified, i-it's good to use the heating source, Sterno. It's like my mama always says, 'better safe than-than sorry'."

shouldazagged.wav(41K) shouldazagged.mp3(41K)

Bobby: "I-I-I-I think you zigged when you should've zagged on that play."

imthewaterboy.wav(163K) imthewaterboy.mp3(163K)

Gee Grenouille (Peter Dante): "Hey, moron! Duh! L-L-Look at me. I'm the w-w-waterboy. Duh! I got a wooden spoon! Duh!"

makingfunofme.wav(26K) makingfunofme.mp3(26K)

Bobby: "Stop making fun of me."

wowdamn.wav(89K) wowdamn.mp3(89K)

Bobby: "(Weezing angrilly an he tackles Gee)"
Coach Klein: "Wow!"
Derek: "Damn!"
Farmer Fran: "(Exclaims indistinct)"

whodatwhodere.wav(25K) whodatwhodere.mp3(25K)

Gee: "Who dat? Who dere?"

wholecaseofwhoopass.wav(82K) wholecaseofwhoopass.mp3(82K)

Bobby: "So that's what opening up a can of whoop ass feels like?"
Coach Klein: "Son, you just opened a whole case of whoop ass."

whoopassfeelslike.wav(40K) whoopassfeelslike.mp3(40K)

Bobby: "So that's what opening up a can of whoop ass feels like?"

mamasaid.wav(240K) mamasaid.mp3(240K)

Coach Klein: "I would be honored if you would play football for this team."
Bobby: "Me, play football?"
Coach Klein: "Yes."
Bobby: "Thanks, but no thanks. My mama won't let me play no football."
Coach Klein: "We're gonna go home, you and I, we're gonna talk to Mama."
Bobby: "Oh-oh-oh, M-Mama said-- M-Mama said-- My mama said-- Mama said-- My mama said-- My mama said that--"
Coach Klein: "She's gonna say yes."
Bobby: "My mama said that-- My mama said--"

itshisknee.wav(199K) itshisknee.mp3(199K)

Coach Klein: "Mmm, that snake looks delicious. What part do you think I'm about to eat?"
Mama: "Uh, basically a snake don't have parts. But, uh, if I had to call it anything, uh, I would say it's his knee."
Coach Klein: "Great."

goodluckfoosball.wav(35K) goodluckfoosball.mp3(35K)

Mama: "Nice to meet you, Mr. Coach. Good luck with your foosball."

tacklehimrightnow.wav(89K) tacklehimrightnow.mp3(89K)

Gee: "Ooh, I'm a f-f-football player."
Bobby: "Coach, I'd like to tackle him right now, please."
Coach Klein: "Not yet."

showsnomercy.wav(195K) showsnomercy.mp3(195K)

Coach Klein: "I want you to do to Casey what Captain Insano does to the bad guy. Go."
Casey Bugge (Al Whiting): "Ow! He poked me in the eye!"
Bobby: "Captain Insano shows no mercy."

tacklinfuel.wav(115K) tacklinfuel.mp3(115K)

Coach Klein: "I want you to think about all those mean people. They're gonna be your tackling fuel."
Bobby: "Tacklin' fuel."
Coach Klein: "We're gonna use them to play football."
Bobby: "Tacklin' fuel."

nonowhat.wav(135K) nonowhat.mp3(135K)

Bobby: "No!"
Casey: "No, what?"
Bobby: "(He tackles him) I didn't mean to hurt you. Coach told me to pretend."

notonlywilli.wav(100K) notonlywilli.mp3(100K)

Coach Klein: "Can you do this for me every single game? Can you do this?"
Bobby: "Coach, not only will I do it for you. I-I-I-- Yes, yes, I'll do it for you."

colonelsanders.wav(323K) colonelsanders.mp3(323K)

Professor (Robert Kokol): "Well, folks, Mama's wrong again."
Bobby: "No, Colonel Sanders, you're wrong. Mama's right. You're all wrong. Mama's right. Mama's right!"
Professor: "There's something wrong with his medula oblongata."
Bobby: "(He gits mad and tackles the professor) It's okay to fight back. Coach Klein said I could. Mr. Coach Klein said I could. It's fine, fellas."

needledick.wav(50K) needledick.mp3(50K)

Gee: "Watch where you're goin' needle dick!"

needledick2.wav(23K) needledick2.mp3(23K)

Bobby: "You're name is needle dick."

joemontana.wav(125K) joemontana.mp3(125K)

Paco (Clint Howard): "Waterboy's killin' 'em. He's the best tackler I've seen since Joe Montana."
Walter (Allen Covert): "Joe Montana was a quarterback, you idiot."
Paco: "I said , Joe Mantegna."

lovemymama.wav(100K) lovemymama.mp3(100K)

Announcer (Dave Wagner): "He dropicked him. It looks like Boucher knocked him out cold."
Bobby: "(He dropkicks the guy who made fun of his mother) I love my mam very much. Now you know that."

welivetoplayanotherday.wav(47K) welivetoplayanotherday.mp3(47K)

Farmer Fran: "We live to play another day. We live to play another day."

toolsofthedevil.wav(85K) toolsofthedevil.mp3(85K)

Bobby: "Mama, Vicki is an astrologist."
Mama: "I don't believe in that sort of thing, pernonally. Astronomy is one of the many tools of the devil."

royorbison.wav(141K) royorbison.mp3(141K)

Mama: "Foosball! Bunch of overgrown monsters manhandling each other. Remember when that man wanted you to play foosball, Bobby?"
Bobby: "Yeah, I-- He, uh-- Roy Orbison-- Coach Klein. I-I-I remember."

byhimself.wav(194K) byhimself.mp3(194K)

Coach Klein: "We are one family with one dream. There are 40 of you on this team, not just one. Bobby can't do this by himself. Now, get out there and make something happen! Alright, sacrifice your bodies. Go, go, go! (Team cheers and takes the field) Thank you. Bobby, you're gonna have to do this by yourself because there is nobody on this team that's any good."

pleasedonthurtme.wav(143K) pleasedonthurtme.mp3(143K)

Mama: "I forbid you to talk to that enchantress. She's the devil!"
Bobby: "She's not the devil. She's the most beautiful woman in the world."
Central Kentucky Quarterback (Michael Hold): "I never said she was the devil."
Bobby: "She's the most beautiful woman in the world."
Central Kentucky Quarterback: "Oh, please don't hurt me! Hut!"

holdthescotch.wav(107K) holdthescotch.mp3(107K)

Lyle Robideaux (Jonathan Loughran): "Want a beer?"
Bobby: "I'll take a Scotch and water. Hold the Scotch."
Lyle: "You just make a joke, Bobby?"
Bobby: "Yes I did."
Lyle: "Good one."

seealotofgirls.wav(217K) seealotofgirls.mp3(217K)

Rita (Jennifer Bini Taylor): "Is there a girl you're seein'?"
Bobby: "Seein'? Uh, uh, I see a lot of girls. I see a lot of giys too."
Rita: "I think that's sexy. You ever been with a guy and a girl at the same time?"
Bobby: "Oh, yeah, plenty of times. The other night, I was with my mama and Coach Klein at the same time."

maybethedevil.wav(126K) maybethedevil.mp3(126K)

Bobby: "You see, there's this girl, Vicki Vallencourt. She may be the devil. Mama said that. Consequently, I am prohibited from contact with her. But I hope to get past that one day 'cause she's nice to talk to."

dontsmokecrack.wav(357K) dontsmokecrack.mp3(357K)

Lawrence Taylor: "Tell me, what is your secret? How do you find yourself in the right position all the time?"
Bobby: "That-That-That's a good question. Wh-What-What happens is, the-the-the center ha-has the ball first. And-And-And the quarterback will say, 'Hike.' That's when the c-center puts the ball in-into the hands of-of the quarterback. So, what I do is, I-I start tacklin' the quarterback, un-unless he gives the ball to-to s-somebody else, in which case, I-I try to tackle that person."
Lawrence Taylor: "Hmm? Gentlemen, which brings me to my next point: Don't smoke crack."

thatthatthat.wav(370K) thatthatthat.mp3(370K)

Bobby: "That was-- That-That-That-That happened-- That-That happened to be my-my first time with-with the, uh, lips and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and the-the tongue. That was your tongue. I-I-I- I believe it was-- I never did that before."
Vicki Vallencourt (Fairuza Balk): "Well, if that was your first kiss, then I bet it's the first time you've seen a pair of these."
Bobby: "Yes, yes, that is a-another first for me, and I-I appreciate what-what-what you're showin' me right now."

disturbing.wav(32K) disturbing.mp3(32K)

Chris Fowler: "Wow, that is a disturbing image."

watersucks.wav(37K) watersucks.mp3(37K)

Coach Klein: "Water sucks! Gatorade is better!"

tastesbettertoo.wav(87K) tastesbettertoo.mp3(87K)

Coach Klein: "Gatorade not only quenches your thirst better, it tastes better too, idiot."
Bobby: "You're-You're-You're drinkin' the wrong water."

gatorade.wav(166K) gatorade.mp3(166K)

Coach Klein: "Gatorade."
Bobby: "H2O!"
Coach Klein: "Gatorade."
Bobby: "H2O!"
Coach Klein: "(Singing) Water sucks, it really, really sucks! Water sucks, it really, really sucks!"

youcandoit.wav(22K) youcandoit.mp3(22K)

Townie (Rob Schneider): "You can do it!"

youcandoit2.wav(22K) youcandoit2.mp3(22K)

Townie: "You can do it! Ha, ha!"

youcandoit3.wav(17K) youcandoit3.mp3(17K)

Townie: "You can do it!"

cuthisheadoff.wav(32K) cuthisheadoff.mp3(32K)

Townie: "You can do it, cut his bleeping head off!"

countryass.wav(48K) countryass.mp3(48K)

Coach Red Beaulieu: "Officer, get her little country ass out of here."

yourefired2.wav(50K) yourefired2.mp3(50K)

Coach Red Beaulieu: "So, allow me to say this to you one more time: You're fired."

ohnowesuckagain.wav(34K) ohnowesuckagain.mp3(34K)

Townie: "Oh no, we suck again!"

cuthisheadoff2.wav(37K) cuthisheadoff2.mp3(37K)

Townie: "The waterboy's a cheater! Cut his head off!"

everybodyhatesme.wav(146K) everybodyhatesme.mp3(146K)

Bobby: "Everybody hates me."
Coach Klein: "That's not true."
Bobby: "One man said he wanted to decapitate me and nobody else thought that to be too bad of an idea."

herboobies.wav(67K) herboobies.mp3(67K)

Bobby: "And I like Vicki and she likes me back! And she showed me her boobies, and I liked them too!"

benfranklin.wav(106K) benfranklin.mp3(106K)

Young Bobby: "Mama, when did Ben Franklin invent electricity?"
Mama: "That's nonsense! I invented electricity. Ben Franklin is the devil!"

manhood.wav(147K) manhood.mp3(147K)

Vicki: "Well, welcome to your manhood, Bobby Boucher. When we get a little more time, I'll welcome you properly."
Bobby: "Yes, once again, I'm not quite sure what that means, but-but-- You know, we should get goin'. I told the coach that I'd drive to the game with him."

onthetelevision.wav(44K) onthetelevision.mp3(44K)

Bobby: "Look who's on the television, Mama, the devil."

ahandsomeman.wav(380K) ahandsomeman.mp3(380K)

Paco: "I am not what you would call a handsome man. The good lord chose not to bless me with-with charm, athletic ability or a fully functional brain. You see, you're an inspiration to all of us who-who weren't born handsome and charming and cool and-- (Starts sobbing.)"

wakeherassup.wav(224K) wakeherassup.mp3(224K)

Bobby: "I'm sorry to disappoint you all, but please keep your voices down so ma-mama can get her rest."
Townie: "Well, wake her ass up! We gotta win tomorrow!"

thatsmyfirstname.wav(92K) thatsmyfirstname.mp3(92K)

Bobby: "Dear Helen... Who's Helen?"
Mama: "That's my first name, Bobby."
Bobby: "Oh."

remeberthetime.wav(64K) remeberthetime.mp3(64K)

Farmer Fran: "Remember the time Bobby Boucher... (Speaking indistinctly)"

wontheburbonbowl.wav(60K) wontheburbonbowl.mp3(60K)

Bobby: "Remember when Bobby Boucher showed up at halftime and the Mud Dogs won the Bourbon Bowl? Do ya?"

notforthedevil.wav(46K) notforthedevil.mp3(46K)

Mama: "Foosball's not for the devil. It's for my Bobby."

openupsomewhoopass.wav(35K) openupsomewhoopass.mp3(35K)

Bobby: "Time to open up some whoop ass."

knockedthepoop.wav(40K) knockedthepoop.mp3(40K)

Dan Fouts: "Boy, Boucher knocked the poop out of him."
Brent Musburger: "Poop?"

slaphands.wav(30K) slaphands.mp3(30K)

Bobby: "Slap hands! Slap hands!"

prediction.wav(143K) prediction.mp3(143K)

Lynn Swann: "Well, let me ask you this. What's you're prediction for the rest of this ball game?"
Vicki: "Mud Dogs are gonna win, 30 to 27."
Lynn Swann: "That's very interesting. How'd you come up with that guess?"
Vicki: "Guess? That ain't no guess! That's what it's gonna be!"
Lynn Swann: "Okay. That's fine."

choochootrain.wav(162K) choochootrain.mp3(162K)

Greg Meaney: "Hey, Waterboy! Is your girlfriend gonna save you again?"
Bobby: "Oh, no, sir. I'm gonna take matters into my own hands. You'll see."
Greg Meaney: "Bring it to the hole! You're ass is mine! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!"
Bobby: "You sound like a big choo-choo train."

highqualityh2o.wav(36K) highqualityh2o.mp3(36K)

Bobby: "Now, that's high quality H2O."

shutupbrent.wav(80K) shutupbrent.mp3(80K)

Dan Fouts: "The Waterboy just needed some water."
Brent Musburger: "Wow, Dan, you think that up all by yourself?"
Dan Fouts: "Shut up, Brent."

youcandoitallnightlong.wav(77K) youcandoitallnightlong.mp3(77K)

Townie: "You can do it! You can do it all night long!"