The Waterboy price at: amazon
All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).
cleancoldh2o.wav(80K) cleancoldh2o.mp3(80K) cleancoldh2o.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr. (Adam Sandler): "It's clean. It's cold. Now, that's what I call high quality H2O."
constructive.wav(36K) constructive.mp3(36K) constructive.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "Not eqactly what I'd call constructive criticism."
wasteanywater.wav(113K) wasteanywater.mp3(113K) wasteanywater.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Greg Meaney (Todd Holland): "Smelt like you could use a shower, stinky!"
Bobby: "listen, you can think what you want about my personal hygene, but please, don't-- don't waste any water. That's-- That's bad policy."
yourefired.wav(101K) yourefired.mp3(101K) yourefired.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Coach Red Beaulieu (Jerry Reed): "Hey waterboy!"
Bobby: "Yes, Mr. Ceach Beaulieu!"
Coach Red Beaulieu: "You're fired!"
imavirgo.wav(171K) imavirgo.mp3(171K) imavirgo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "I-I was-- I was thinkin', Mama, maybe I-I could-- I could try to-to get another waterboy job for-for a-a different team."
Helen 'Mama' Boucher (Kathy Bates): "Don't you raise your voice to me, Bobby Boucher."
Bobby: "I-I wasn't raising my voice, Mama. I don't like confrontations, I'm a Virgo."
littlegirlsarethedevil.wav(68K) littlegirlsarethedevil.mp3(68K) littlegirlsarethedevil.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mama: "I don't ever want you associatin' with little girl."
Young Bobby Boucher (Jamie Williams): "Why not, Mama?"
Mama: "Because little girls are the devil!"
needthewater.wav(80K) needthewater.mp3(80K) needthewater.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "It's just that I'm a waterboy. The team gets thirsty, and I bring them the water. They-They need the water, and I likes to be the one that brings it to them."
socialskills.wav(41K) socialskills.mp3(41K) socialskills.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mama: "You don't have what they call the social skills."
canofwhoopass.wav(26K) canofwhoopass.mp3(26K) canofwhoopass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Captain Insano (Paul Wight): "I'm gonna open a can of whoop ass on Herculon."
iam31yearsold.wav(267K) iam31yearsold.mp3(267K) iam31yearsold.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "Captain Insano, I notice sometimes when you are wrestling-- or-or openin' up a can of whoop-ass, as you like to say, you seem to be sweating quite profusely."
Captain Insano: "Yeah?"
Bobby: "I was wondering if, perhaps, you might need the services of an experienced waterboy."
Captain Insano: "That's pretty cute. How old are you, kid? Eleven, twelve?"
Bobby: "I-I am 31 years old."
pretendstofake.wav(274K) pretendstofake.mp3(274K) pretendstofake.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Coach Klein (Henry Winkler): "The quarterback. Two receivers line up to the left, one to the right. There's a flanker lined up to the left behind the quarterback."
Bobby: "Oh, okay."
Coach Klein: "He gives the ball-- No, he doesn't-- He doesn't get the ball. The receiver goes all the way over there to the left. Once the quarterback has the ball, he fakes to the left. No. He fakes to the right. He doesn't fake. He thinks about faking. He pretends to fake."
donothavetopayme.wav(215K) donothavetopayme.mp3(215K) donothavetopayme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "That is the water that you serve to your players?"
Coach Klein: "Uh-huh."
Bobby: "It is imperitive that you allow me to be your waerboy."
Coach Klein: "I can't hire you. I can't hire anybody with the poorest footba--"
Bobby: "You do not have to-- have to pay me. I-I will do it for free. Just promice me that you will never distribute the contents of that jug to any human person."
runsprints.wav(281K) runsprints.mp3(281K) runsprints.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Farmer Fran (Blake Clark): "(Speaking indistinctly)"
Coach Klein: "Okay. Uh, just have the defense run sprints."
Farmer Fran: "(Speaking indistinctly)"
sterno.wav(146K) sterno.mp3(146K) sterno.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Derek Wallace (Larry Gilliard Jr.): "Water's better cold."
Bobby: "Yes, I agree, but to guarantee that the H2O is-is purified, i-it's good to use the heating source, Sterno. It's like my mama always says, 'better safe than-than sorry'."
shouldazagged.wav(41K) shouldazagged.mp3(41K) shouldazagged.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "I-I-I-I think you zigged when you should've zagged on that play."
imthewaterboy.wav(163K) imthewaterboy.mp3(163K) imthewaterboy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gee Grenouille (Peter Dante): "Hey, moron! Duh! L-L-Look at me. I'm the w-w-waterboy. Duh! I got a wooden spoon! Duh!"
makingfunofme.wav(26K) makingfunofme.mp3(26K) makingfunofme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "Stop making fun of me."
wowdamn.wav(89K) wowdamn.mp3(89K) wowdamn.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "(Weezing angrilly an he tackles Gee)"
Coach Klein: "Wow!"
Farmer Fran: "(Exclaims indistinct)"
whodatwhodere.wav(25K) whodatwhodere.mp3(25K) whodatwhodere.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gee: "Who dat? Who dere?"
wholecaseofwhoopass.wav(82K) wholecaseofwhoopass.mp3(82K) wholecaseofwhoopass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "So that's what opening up a can of whoop ass feels like?"
Coach Klein: "Son, you just opened a whole case of whoop ass."
whoopassfeelslike.wav(40K) whoopassfeelslike.mp3(40K) whoopassfeelslike.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "So that's what opening up a can of whoop ass feels like?"
mamasaid.wav(240K) mamasaid.mp3(240K) mamasaid.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Coach Klein: "I would be honored if you would play football for this team."
Bobby: "Me, play football?"
Coach Klein: "Yes."
Bobby: "Thanks, but no thanks. My mama won't let me play no football."
Coach Klein: "We're gonna go home, you and I, we're gonna talk to Mama."
Bobby: "Oh-oh-oh, M-Mama said-- M-Mama said-- My mama said-- Mama said-- My mama said-- My mama said that--"
Coach Klein: "She's gonna say yes."
Bobby: "My mama said that-- My mama said--"
itshisknee.wav(199K) itshisknee.mp3(199K) itshisknee.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Coach Klein: "Mmm, that snake looks delicious. What part do you think I'm about to eat?"
Mama: "Uh, basically a snake don't have parts. But, uh, if I had to call it anything, uh, I would say it's his knee."
Coach Klein: "Great."
goodluckfoosball.wav(35K) goodluckfoosball.mp3(35K) goodluckfoosball.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mama: "Nice to meet you, Mr. Coach. Good luck with your foosball."
tacklehimrightnow.wav(89K) tacklehimrightnow.mp3(89K) tacklehimrightnow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gee: "Ooh, I'm a f-f-football player."
Bobby: "Coach, I'd like to tackle him right now, please."
Coach Klein: "Not yet."
showsnomercy.wav(195K) showsnomercy.mp3(195K) showsnomercy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Coach Klein: "I want you to do to Casey what Captain Insano does to the bad guy. Go."
Casey Bugge (Al Whiting): "Ow! He poked me in the eye!"
Bobby: "Captain Insano shows no mercy."
tacklinfuel.wav(115K) tacklinfuel.mp3(115K) tacklinfuel.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Coach Klein: "I want you to think about all those mean people. They're gonna be your tackling fuel."
Bobby: "Tacklin' fuel."
Coach Klein: "We're gonna use them to play football."
Bobby: "Tacklin' fuel."
nonowhat.wav(135K) nonowhat.mp3(135K) nonowhat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Casey: "No, what?"
Bobby: "(He tackles him) I didn't mean to hurt you. Coach told me to pretend."
notonlywilli.wav(100K) notonlywilli.mp3(100K) notonlywilli.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Coach Klein: "Can you do this for me every single game? Can you do this?"
Bobby: "Coach, not only will I do it for you. I-I-I-- Yes, yes, I'll do it for you."
colonelsanders.wav(323K) colonelsanders.mp3(323K) colonelsanders.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Professor (Robert Kokol): "Well, folks, Mama's wrong again."
Bobby: "No, Colonel Sanders, you're wrong. Mama's right. You're all wrong. Mama's right. Mama's right!"
Professor: "There's something wrong with his medula oblongata."
Bobby: "(He gits mad and tackles the professor) It's okay to fight back. Coach Klein said I could. Mr. Coach Klein said I could. It's fine, fellas."
needledick.wav(50K) needledick.mp3(50K) needledick.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gee: "Watch where you're goin' needle dick!"
needledick2.wav(23K) needledick2.mp3(23K) needledick2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "You're name is needle dick."
joemontana.wav(125K) joemontana.mp3(125K) joemontana.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Paco (Clint Howard): "Waterboy's killin' 'em. He's the best tackler I've seen since Joe Montana."
Walter (Allen Covert): "Joe Montana was a quarterback, you idiot."
Paco: "I said , Joe Mantegna."
lovemymama.wav(100K) lovemymama.mp3(100K) lovemymama.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Announcer (Dave Wagner): "He dropicked him. It looks like Boucher knocked him out cold."
Bobby: "(He dropkicks the guy who made fun of his mother) I love my mam very much. Now you know that."
welivetoplayanotherday.wav(47K) welivetoplayanotherday.mp3(47K) welivetoplayanotherday.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Farmer Fran: "We live to play another day. We live to play another day."
toolsofthedevil.wav(85K) toolsofthedevil.mp3(85K) toolsofthedevil.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "Mama, Vicki is an astrologist."
Mama: "I don't believe in that sort of thing, pernonally. Astronomy is one of the many tools of the devil."
royorbison.wav(141K) royorbison.mp3(141K) royorbison.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mama: "Foosball! Bunch of overgrown monsters manhandling each other. Remember when that man wanted you to play foosball, Bobby?"
Bobby: "Yeah, I-- He, uh-- Roy Orbison-- Coach Klein. I-I-I remember."
byhimself.wav(194K) byhimself.mp3(194K) byhimself.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Coach Klein: "We are one family with one dream. There are 40 of you on this team, not just one. Bobby can't do this by himself. Now, get out there and make something happen! Alright, sacrifice your bodies. Go, go, go! (Team cheers and takes the field) Thank you. Bobby, you're gonna have to do this by yourself because there is nobody on this team that's any good."
pleasedonthurtme.wav(143K) pleasedonthurtme.mp3(143K) pleasedonthurtme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mama: "I forbid you to talk to that enchantress. She's the devil!"
Bobby: "She's not the devil. She's the most beautiful woman in the world."
Central Kentucky Quarterback (Michael Hold): "I never said she was the devil."
Bobby: "She's the most beautiful woman in the world."
Central Kentucky Quarterback: "Oh, please don't hurt me! Hut!"
holdthescotch.wav(107K) holdthescotch.mp3(107K) holdthescotch.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Lyle Robideaux (Jonathan Loughran): "Want a beer?"
Bobby: "I'll take a Scotch and water. Hold the Scotch."
Lyle: "You just make a joke, Bobby?"
Bobby: "Yes I did."
Lyle: "Good one."
seealotofgirls.wav(217K) seealotofgirls.mp3(217K) seealotofgirls.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rita (Jennifer Bini Taylor): "Is there a girl you're seein'?"
Bobby: "Seein'? Uh, uh, I see a lot of girls. I see a lot of giys too."
Rita: "I think that's sexy. You ever been with a guy and a girl at the same time?"
Bobby: "Oh, yeah, plenty of times. The other night, I was with my mama and Coach Klein at the same time."
maybethedevil.wav(126K) maybethedevil.mp3(126K) maybethedevil.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "You see, there's this girl, Vicki Vallencourt. She may be the devil. Mama said that. Consequently, I am prohibited from contact with her. But I hope to get past that one day 'cause she's nice to talk to."
dontsmokecrack.wav(357K) dontsmokecrack.mp3(357K) dontsmokecrack.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Lawrence Taylor: "Tell me, what is your secret? How do you find yourself in the right position all the time?"
Bobby: "That-That-That's a good question. Wh-What-What happens is, the-the-the center ha-has the ball first. And-And-And the quarterback will say, 'Hike.' That's when the c-center puts the ball in-into the hands of-of the quarterback. So, what I do is, I-I start tacklin' the quarterback, un-unless he gives the ball to-to s-somebody else, in which case, I-I try to tackle that person."
Lawrence Taylor: "Hmm? Gentlemen, which brings me to my next point: Don't smoke crack."
thatthatthat.wav(370K) thatthatthat.mp3(370K) thatthatthat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "That was-- That-That-That-That happened-- That-That happened to be my-my first time with-with the, uh, lips and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and-and the-the tongue. That was your tongue. I-I-I- I believe it was-- I never did that before."
Vicki Vallencourt (Fairuza Balk): "Well, if that was your first kiss, then I bet it's the first time you've seen a pair of these."
Bobby: "Yes, yes, that is a-another first for me, and I-I appreciate what-what-what you're showin' me right now."
disturbing.wav(32K) disturbing.mp3(32K) disturbing.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Chris Fowler: "Wow, that is a disturbing image."
watersucks.wav(37K) watersucks.mp3(37K) watersucks.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Coach Klein: "Water sucks! Gatorade is better!"
tastesbettertoo.wav(87K) tastesbettertoo.mp3(87K) tastesbettertoo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Coach Klein: "Gatorade not only quenches your thirst better, it tastes better too, idiot."
Bobby: "You're-You're-You're drinkin' the wrong water."
gatorade.wav(166K) gatorade.mp3(166K) gatorade.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Coach Klein: "Gatorade."
Coach Klein: "Gatorade."
Coach Klein: "(Singing) Water sucks, it really, really sucks! Water sucks, it really, really sucks!"
youcandoit.wav(22K) youcandoit.mp3(22K) youcandoit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Townie (Rob Schneider): "You can do it!"
youcandoit2.wav(22K) youcandoit2.mp3(22K) youcandoit2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Townie: "You can do it! Ha, ha!"
youcandoit3.wav(17K) youcandoit3.mp3(17K) youcandoit3.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Townie: "You can do it!"
cuthisheadoff.wav(32K) cuthisheadoff.mp3(32K) cuthisheadoff.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Townie: "You can do it, cut his bleeping head off!"
countryass.wav(48K) countryass.mp3(48K) countryass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Coach Red Beaulieu: "Officer, get her little country ass out of here."
yourefired2.wav(50K) yourefired2.mp3(50K) yourefired2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Coach Red Beaulieu: "So, allow me to say this to you one more time: You're fired."
ohnowesuckagain.wav(34K) ohnowesuckagain.mp3(34K) ohnowesuckagain.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Townie: "Oh no, we suck again!"
cuthisheadoff2.wav(37K) cuthisheadoff2.mp3(37K) cuthisheadoff2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Townie: "The waterboy's a cheater! Cut his head off!"
everybodyhatesme.wav(146K) everybodyhatesme.mp3(146K) everybodyhatesme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "Everybody hates me."
Coach Klein: "That's not true."
Bobby: "One man said he wanted to decapitate me and nobody else thought that to be too bad of an idea."
herboobies.wav(67K) herboobies.mp3(67K) herboobies.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "And I like Vicki and she likes me back! And she showed me her boobies, and I liked them too!"
benfranklin.wav(106K) benfranklin.mp3(106K) benfranklin.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Young Bobby: "Mama, when did Ben Franklin invent electricity?"
Mama: "That's nonsense! I invented electricity. Ben Franklin is the devil!"
manhood.wav(147K) manhood.mp3(147K) manhood.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Vicki: "Well, welcome to your manhood, Bobby Boucher. When we get a little more time, I'll welcome you properly."
Bobby: "Yes, once again, I'm not quite sure what that means, but-but-- You know, we should get goin'. I told the coach that I'd drive to the game with him."
onthetelevision.wav(44K) onthetelevision.mp3(44K) onthetelevision.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "Look who's on the television, Mama, the devil."
ahandsomeman.wav(380K) ahandsomeman.mp3(380K) ahandsomeman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Paco: "I am not what you would call a handsome man. The good lord chose not to bless me with-with charm, athletic ability or a fully functional brain. You see, you're an inspiration to all of us who-who weren't born handsome and charming and cool and-- (Starts sobbing.)"
wakeherassup.wav(224K) wakeherassup.mp3(224K) wakeherassup.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "I'm sorry to disappoint you all, but please keep your voices down so ma-mama can get her rest."
Townie: "Well, wake her ass up! We gotta win tomorrow!"
thatsmyfirstname.wav(92K) thatsmyfirstname.mp3(92K) thatsmyfirstname.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "Dear Helen... Who's Helen?"
Mama: "That's my first name, Bobby."
remeberthetime.wav(64K) remeberthetime.mp3(64K) remeberthetime.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Farmer Fran: "Remember the time Bobby Boucher... (Speaking indistinctly)"
wontheburbonbowl.wav(60K) wontheburbonbowl.mp3(60K) wontheburbonbowl.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "Remember when Bobby Boucher showed up at halftime and the Mud Dogs won the Bourbon Bowl? Do ya?"
notforthedevil.wav(46K) notforthedevil.mp3(46K) notforthedevil.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mama: "Foosball's not for the devil. It's for my Bobby."
openupsomewhoopass.wav(35K) openupsomewhoopass.mp3(35K) openupsomewhoopass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "Time to open up some whoop ass."
knockedthepoop.wav(40K) knockedthepoop.mp3(40K) knockedthepoop.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dan Fouts: "Boy, Boucher knocked the poop out of him."
Brent Musburger: "Poop?"
slaphands.wav(30K) slaphands.mp3(30K) slaphands.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "Slap hands! Slap hands!"
prediction.wav(143K) prediction.mp3(143K) prediction.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Lynn Swann: "Well, let me ask you this. What's you're prediction for the rest of this ball game?"
Vicki: "Mud Dogs are gonna win, 30 to 27."
Lynn Swann: "That's very interesting. How'd you come up with that guess?"
Vicki: "Guess? That ain't no guess! That's what it's gonna be!"
Lynn Swann: "Okay. That's fine."
choochootrain.wav(162K) choochootrain.mp3(162K) choochootrain.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Greg Meaney: "Hey, Waterboy! Is your girlfriend gonna save you again?"
Bobby: "Oh, no, sir. I'm gonna take matters into my own hands. You'll see."
Greg Meaney: "Bring it to the hole! You're ass is mine! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!"
Bobby: "You sound like a big choo-choo train."
highqualityh2o.wav(36K) highqualityh2o.mp3(36K) highqualityh2o.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bobby: "Now, that's high quality H2O."
shutupbrent.wav(80K) shutupbrent.mp3(80K) shutupbrent.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dan Fouts: "The Waterboy just needed some water."
Brent Musburger: "Wow, Dan, you think that up all by yourself?"
Dan Fouts: "Shut up, Brent."
youcandoitallnightlong.wav(77K) youcandoitallnightlong.mp3(77K) youcandoitallnightlong.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Townie: "You can do it! You can do it all night long!"