Movie Quotes - Movie Sounds - Movie Wavs
 


 

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story price at: amazon, buy.com


All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 22Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).


cutinhalf.wav(279K) cutinhalf.mp3(127K) cutinhalf.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Doctor (Terrence Beasor): "This was a particularly bad case of somebody being cut in half. I was not able to reattach the top half of his body to the bottom half of his body."


halftheboy.wav(240K) halftheboy.mp3(10K) halftheboy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Pa Cox (Raymond J. Barry): "You're not half the boy that Nate was. You're not even half the boy that the top half of Nate was after you cut him in half."
Dewey Cox - Age 8 (Conner Rayburn): "So you're saying that I'm less than a quarter of the boy that Nate was?"


doneabadthing.wav(1210K) doneabadthing.mp3(549K) doneabadthing.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Harmonica Player (Gerry Black): "That ain't bad."
Dewey Cox - Age 8: "(Singing 'Cut My Brother in Half Blues')"
Old Bluesman (David 'Honeyboy' Edwards): "Not bad for your first time."


followthat.wav(44K) followthat.mp3(21K) followthat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox (John C. Reilly): "How we gonna follow that?"


wrongkid.wav(55K) wrongkid.mp3(25K) wrongkid.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Pa Cox: "The wrong kid died, bleepdamnit."




takemyhand.wav(1299K) takemyhand.mp3(590K) takemyhand.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(A clip of "Take My Hand" Written by Antonio Ortiz, Judd Apatow and Jake Kasdan Produced by Michael Andrews Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"


devilsmusic.wav(47K) devilsmusic.mp3(22K) devilsmusic.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Preacher (Rance Howard): "It's the devil's music!"


yourdreams.wav(116K) yourdreams.mp3(53K) yourdreams.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Edith (Kristen Wiig): "I am tired of hearing about your dreams, Dewey Cox. You are a selfish dickhole!"


15yearold.wav(202K) 15yearold.mp3(92K) 15yearold.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Edith: "You can make an honest living. Wouldn't have to hang your head in shame, walking around like some kind of a failure."
Dewey Cox: "I think I'm doing okay for a 15-year-old with a wife and a baby."


gonnafail.wav(221K) gonnafail.mp3(101K) gonnafail.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Edith, I am starting to think that maybe you don't believe in me."
Edith: "I do believe in you. I just know you're gonna fail."


candyhouse.wav(181K) candyhouse.mp3(83K) candyhouse.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Edith: "What about my dreams?"
Dewey Cox: "Edith, I told you, I can't build you a candy house! It will fall down! The sun will melt the candy! It won't work!"


loveyournegroman.wav(2340K) loveyournegroman.mp3(1062K) loveyournegroman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(A clip of "(Mama) You Got To Love Your Negro Man" Written by Michael Andrews, John C. Reilly, Robert Walter, Judd Apatow and Jake Kasdan Produced by Michael Andrews Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"


notsobad.wav(116K) notsobad.mp3(53K) notsobad.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mazeltov (Phil Rosenthal): "He's got a nice thing."
Schmendrick (Mortin Starr): "He's not so bad with the singing and the playing and the shaking of the tochis."


thatsamore.wav(1009K) thatsamore.mp3(458K) thatsamore.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(A clip of "That's Amore" Written by Harry Warren and Jack Brooks Produced by Michael Andrews Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"


walkhard.wav(2732K) walkhard.mp3(1240K) walkhard.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(A clip of "Walk Hard" Written by Marshall Crenshaw, John C. Reilly, Judd Apatow and Jake Kasdan Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"


wasgonnasay.wav(144K) wasgonnasay.mp3(66K) wasgonnasay.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Mazeltov: "Please, I can't anymore."
LÕChaiÕm (Harrold Ramis): "(Speaking indistinctly in a Yiddish accent)"
Record Producer (John Michael Higgins): "That's what I was gonna say."


mother.wav(307K) mother.mp3(140K) mother.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Record Producer: "It's over. And there is nothing that you can do here in this room that can turn that around. Nothing you can do that can make up for what you just did to 'That's Amore.'"
Dewey Cox: "Well, my mother liked it a whole lot."
Record Producer: "Your mother was wrong."


openmymind.wav(473K) openmymind.mp3(215K) openmymind.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Record Producer: "I was willing to open my mind because these Jewish gentlemen brought you in here. They usually have good taste. And now here you are in front of me pretending you can sing. And I have to say that today, your performance has shaken my belief in the Jewish people."
Dewey Cox: "Well, there's nothing I would like more, sir, than to restore your faith in Judaism, right now."


unrealistic.wav(262K) unrealistic.mp3(119K) unrealistic.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "I don't know how to tell you this. I'm gonna miss some things, okay? I'm gonna miss some birthdays and some christenings. I'm gonna miss some births, period. Okay? It's just unrealistic to think I'm gonna be here for every time you have a baby."


youhappy.wav(722K) youhappy.mp3(328K) youhappy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "I'm gonna miss some things, okay? I'm gonna miss some birthdays and some christenings. I'm gonna miss some births, period. Okay? It's just unrealistic to think I'm gonna be here for every time you have a baby. But aren't you happy? You have a beautiful new home, and all your fancy new clothes, and your monkey and your giraffe. Look, what else you need? How about I get you a... a crow that could talk? And I'll teach him phrases that I say. 'Good morning, honey.' But it'll be a little crow talking."
Edith: "This ain't about no exotic pets! It's about love, you stupid piece of shit!"


talkingcrow.wav(236K) talkingcrow.mp3(108K) talkingcrow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Look, what else you need? How about I get you a... a crow that could talk? And I'll teach him phrases that I say. 'Good morning, honey.' But it'll be a little crow talking."


talkingabout.wav(39K) talkingabout.mp3(19K) talkingabout.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "What the bleep was he talking about?"


reefer.wav(1266K) reefer.mp3(575K) reefer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Sam (Tim Meadows): "Get out of here, Dewey."
Dewey Cox: "What are y'all doing in here?"
Sam: "We're smoking reefer, and you don't want no part of this shit."
Dewey Cox: "You're smoking reefers?"
Sam: "Yeah, of course we are, Can't you smell it?"
Dewey Cox: "No, Sam, I can't."
Reefer Girl (Odette Yustman): "Come on, Dewey, join the party."
Sam: "No, Dewey, you don't want this. Get out of here!"
Dewey Cox: "You know what, I don't want no hangover. I can't get no hangover."
Sam: "It doesn't give you a hangover."
Dewey Cox: "Will I get addicted to it or something?"
Sam: "It's not habit-forming."
Dewey Cox: "Oh, okay, well... I don't know. I don't wanna overdose on it."
Sam: "You can't OD on it."
Dewey Cox: "It's not gonna make me wanna have sex, is it?"
Sam: "It makes sex even better."
Dewey Cox: "Sounds kind of expensive."
Sam: "It's the cheapest drug there is."
Dewey Cox: "Hmm."
Sam: "You don't want it. "
Dewey Cox: "I think I kind of want it."
Sam: "Okay, but just this once. Come on in."


cocaine.wav(460K) cocaine.mp3(209K) cocaine.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Sam: "Get out of here, Dewey."
Dewey Cox: "What are y'all doing in here?"
Sam: "It's called cocaine, and you don't want no part of this shit."
Dewey Cox: "Cocaine? What's it do?"
Sam: "It turns all your bad feelings into good feelings. It's a nightmare."
Dewey Cox: "I'm thinking maybe I'd like to try me some of that cocaine."


walkhardpunk.wav(839K) walkhardpunk.mp3(381K) walkhardpunk.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(Performing Walk Hard the punk version) Alright, again, faster."
Dave (Matt Besser): "This is crazy, Dewey. Ain't nobody gonna wanna listen to music like this. You're standing there playing as fast as you can singing like some sort of a punk."


stifleme.wav(208K) stifleme.mp3(95K) stifleme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Don't you dare try to stifle me. Whose band is this anyway? You bleepsucker! I'll punch you in the mouth!"


punchyou.wav(55K) punchyou.mp3(26K) punchyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "I'll punch you in the mouth!"


letsduet.wav(1259K) letsduet.mp3(572K) letsduet.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox and Darlene Madison: (A short clip of "Let's Duet" Written by Charles Wadhams (as Charlie Wadhams) and Benji Hughes Produced by Michael Andrews Performed by John C. Reilly and Angela Correa)"


letsduet2.wav(1735K) letsduet2.mp3(787K) letsduet2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox and Darlene Madison: (The second verse of "Let's Duet" Written by Charles Wadhams (as Charlie Wadhams) and Benji Hughes Produced by Michael Andrews Performed by John C. Reilly and Angela Correa)"


machete.wav(442K) machete.mp3(201K) machete.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Did you ever have something that you really loved that you accidentally killed or hurt in some way with a machete?"
Darlene Madison (Jenna Fischer): "No."
Dewey Cox: "No, me neither. Wouldn't that be terrible?"
Darlene: "How would you live with yourself?"
Dewey Cox: "I know, right? Exactly."


darling.wav(549K) darling.mp3(250K) darling.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(A clip of "Darling" Written by Mike Viola and John C. Reilly Produced by Michael Andrews Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"


sleepsomewhere.wav(90K) sleepsomewhere.mp3(42K) sleepsomewhere.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Darlene: "Thanks for letting me sleep in your bunk, Dewey."
Dewey Cox: "Gotta sleep somewhere, right?"


manstouch.wav(263K) manstouch.mp3(120K) manstouch.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Darlene: "Sometimes I lie awake at night aching for a man's touch. And by 'a man's touch,' I mean a penis in my vagina. Oh, it's just so silly."


readyforsex.wav(40K) readyforsex.mp3(19K) readyforsex.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "I'm ready for sex."


signal.wav(376K) signal.mp3(171K) signal.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "We're married. I did the right thing. It's not like we're not married."
Darlene: "If you're already married you can't get married again."
Dewey Cox: "I know, I know, and that was wrong, but it's just... We were such good friends and you told me about that dream where you were licking my balls and that seemed like a signal."


criminal.wav(314K) criminal.mp3(143K) criminal.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Don't you stand there and judge me like I'm some kind of criminal."
Edith: "You are a criminal. This is illegal, Dewey."
Dewey Cox: "What do you mean, it's illegal?"
Edith: "It's illegal to be married to two people at the same time, Dewey."
Dewey Cox: "What about if you're famous?"


dontneedyou.wav(607K) dontneedyou.mp3(276K) dontneedyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Go ahead. Take the children. I don't care. All I need is my music. I don't need you. And I don't need you. And I don't need you. And I don't need you. You're just sitting there all high and mighty in your diaper. If anything, you need me. You're a baby."
Edith: "Come on, Miles. "
Dewey Cox: "Don't you dare take Miles. You can take the children, but you leave me my monkey."


goodtitle.wav(335K) goodtitle.mp3(153K) goodtitle.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "No! No, come back. Don't leave me, Edith."
Edith: "'Don't leave me, Edith.' There's a title for a song."
Dewey Cox: "That's not a bad title, but please don't leave me."


herside.wav(174K) herside.mp3(80K) herside.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(Talking to the monkey) I'm telling you, I've had it. I've had it with all this crap. You took her side every time. All you care about is fruit and touching yourself. Well, bleep you!"


nextstep.wav(234K) nextstep.mp3(107K) nextstep.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Sam: "Get out of here, Dewey. You don't want no part of this shit."
Dewey Cox: "What y'all doing in here?"
Sam: "We're doing pills, uppers and downers. They're the logical next step for you."
Dewey Cox: "I want some of that shit."


guiltyascharged.wav(963K) guiltyascharged.mp3(437K) guiltyascharged.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(A clip of "Guilty As Charged" Written by Charles Wadhams (as Charlie Wadhams) and William Gustavus Seyffert (as Gus Seyffert) Produced by Michael Andrews Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"


forgot.wav(143K) forgot.mp3(66K) forgot.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Naked Girl: "Dewey, are you enjoying yourself?"
Dewey Cox: "What? Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you were here."


letsswitch.wav(244K) letsswitch.mp3(112K) letsswitch.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Hey, Dave. I like your girl better, let's switch."
Dave: "Well, Dewey, this is my wife."
Dewey Cox: "Oh, nice to meet you. Well, this is Kathy. Kathy, this is Dave. Come on, darling. So where you from?"


darkperiod.wav(75K) darkperiod.mp3(35K) darkperiod.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Bleepdamnit, this is a dark bleeping period!"


blankets.wav(132K) blankets.mp3(61K) blankets.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Prison and rehab have changed me. All these blankets have saved my life."


songabout.wav(861K) songabout.mp3(391K) songabout.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(His first Dylonesc song)"
Dave: "What the hell is this song abaut?"
Theo (Chris Parnell): "I have no idea."
Sam: "You guys are idiots. This song is wery deep."
Dewey Cox: "(He continues the song)"


letmeholdyou.wav(1480K) letmeholdyou.mp3(672K) letmeholdyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(A clip of "Let Me Hold You (Little Man)" Written by Dan Bern, Mike Viola and Manish Raval Produced by Michael Andrews Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"


littleone.wav(612K) littleone.mp3(278K) littleone.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Paul McCartney (Jack Black): "We're nothing but grains of sand."
Dewey Cox: "That was freaking transcendental, Paul McCartney. Don't you agree, John Lennon?"
John Lennon (Paul Rudd): "Yes, Dewey Cox. With meditation there's no limit to what we can... imagine."
Dewey Cox: "What do you think, George Harrison of the Beatles?"
George Harrison (Justin Long): "I don't know, you know. I'm just trying to get some more songs on the album, you know."
Ringo Starr (Jason Schwartzman): "And as Ringo Starr, I'm not so interested in meditation. I just like to have fun."
Dewey Cox: "I like the little one."


wethebeatles.wav(336K) wethebeatles.mp3(153K) wethebeatles.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

George Harrison: "It's so dark in this tent, you know. It reminds me when we, the Beatles, the four Beatles, us--"
Paul McCartney: "From Liverpool."
John Lennon: "Yes, we are from Liverpool."
George Harrison: "We used to play those dark clubs in Hamburg. Remember that, Paul?"
Paul McCartney: "Of course I do, I booked them. I'm the leader of the Beatles."


asthemonkees.wav(455K) asthemonkees.mp3(207K) asthemonkees.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "But I have to say I like your stuff. It's pretty good. And most of your records, I really enjoy."
Paul McCartney: "We're big fans of your records too. We like to think that Hard Day's Night is our Guilty an Charged."
John Lennon: "Great record."
Paul McCartney: "Excellent album. We learned a lot from you."
John Lennon: "Great record."
Theo: "Well, we're real big fans of y'all."
Dave: "Huge fans. You're almost as good as the Monkees. You guys are great."


lsd.wav(258K) lsd.mp3(118K) lsd.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Ringo Starr: "I think I might adjourn to another dimension, take some LSD. You care to join me?"
Sam: "Yeah, let's do that?"
George Harrison: "Care to join us for some LSD, Dewey? It's good for you."
Paul McCartney: "Built by scientists, it is."
Ringo Starr: "Lysergic."


rift.wav(1008K) rift.mp3(458K) rift.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

John Lennon: "Come on, Dewey Cox. I think you might enjoy it. Open up your mind to a new experience, a new level of consciousness like we do, because we are the Beatles."
Paul McCartney: "Why don't you just let him decide. Iy he want's to take LSD, he'll take it. He doesn't have to listen to you. You're not the boss of him."
John Lennon: "Don't tell me what to say and what not to say, Paul McCartney."
Paul McCartney: "I'm sick of you being so dark when I'm so impish and whimsical. I'm sick of it."
John Lennon: "Hey, everyone, I've got a brand-new mantra: Hmm, Paul's a big fat bleep."
George Harrison: "I don't know why you two don't let me write more songs, you know. I just sit here while my guitar quietly whimpers, you know."
Paul McCartney: "Well, you are the quiet one, so why don't you shut the bleep up?"
Ringo Starr: "I've got a song about an octopus."
John Lennon: "Jam it up your ass. You're lucky we still let you play drum."
Dewey Cox: "Wow, seems like there's a rift happening between the Beatles."
John Lennon: "I wonder if your songs will still be shit when I'm 64."


dropacid.wav(781K) dropacid.mp3(355K) dropacid.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Darlene: "Dewey, you been living clean for three years now and it's done you a world of good, has it not?"
Dewey Cox: "Look, I know I've had my trouble with drugs in the past. But I'm addicted to coke, weed, booze, ludes and speed. Not LSD. Nobody gets addicted to LSD. It was invented by Scientists. Ringo Starr just told me."
Darlene: "I heard that doing LSD can awaken your demons."
Dewey Cox: "I ain't got no demons gonna get woke."
Darlene: "if you promise it'll just be this one time. Okay. Let's go drop acid with the Beatles."


notlsd.wav(212K) notlsd.mp3(97K) notlsd.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Look, I know I've had my trouble with drugs in the past. But I'm addicted to coke, weed, booze, ludes and speed. Not LSD. Nobody gets addicted to LSD."


trippycartoon.wav(102K) trippycartoon.mp3(47K) trippycartoon.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Wow, this LSD's alright. I like being a trippy cartoon."


colon.wav(162K) colon.mp3(74K) colon.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Help! Trippy machete! Oh, bleep me. I can see my large colon."


notagoodsong.wav(699K) notagoodsong.mp3(318K) notagoodsong.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(Singing part of his LSD inspired song "Black Sheep" Written by Michael Andrews and Van Dyke Parks Produced by Michael Andrews Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"
Dave: "This is not a good song. It's like five songs on top of each other at the same time."
Theo: "It's not even a song. It's some sort of concerto."
Darlene: "Just let him work it out. Masterpieces take time."
Dave: "Do you hear that? I think that goat's been singing more than I am on this damn song."


amicrazy.wav(406K) amicrazy.mp3(185K) amicrazy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Well?"
Engineer #1 (Tim Bagley): "That was beautiful, Dewey."
Engineer #2: "It was perfection."
Engineer #1: "Yeah, even, even the goat was perfect."
Dewey Cox: "Yeah, the geat was good."
Engineer #1: "Yeah."
Dewey Cox: "Were the strings tangy enough?"
Engineer #1: "Oh, they were tangy. They were very tangy."
Sam: "Unbelievably tangy."
Dewey Cox: "No, guys, the strings were not tangy! They were salty! Am I crazy?!"


onemoretime.wav(473K) onemoretime.mp3(216K) onemoretime.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Let's do one more time. Okay, strings, lean into it. I want it real tangy this time. Now, Mike, you're flatting. Bushmen, make it sound like you're in the bleeping bush, okay? Alright, Fred, back off the goat on the second pre-chorus. I wanna hear his heart, not his soul. And, Sam, you go back to that thing you did yesterday on the bridge."
Sam: "That thing that sounded like velvet pancakes."
Dewey Cox: "Yeah, right."


blacksheep.wav(527K) blacksheep.mp3(240K) blacksheep.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(A clip of "Black Sheep" Written by Michael Andrews and Van Dyke Parks Produced by Michael Andrews Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"


didgeridoos.wav(236K) didgeridoos.mp3(108K) didgeridoos.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "It's still not finished yet. I'm hearing aboriginal percussionists. And I want an army of didgeridoos. Fifty thousand didgeridoos!"


notonce.wav(1392K) notonce.mp3(632K) notonce.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Theo: "Dewey, are you saying you don't need us no more?"
Dewey Cox: "Not unless you can open your mind and learn to play the bleeping theremin."
Theo: "Bleep you, Dewey!"
Dave: "Yeah, bleep you, Dewey. In 20 years, not once have you thrown a woman my way. You don't think we like cheating on our wives too?"
Sam: "And you never once paid for drugs. Not once!"
Dave: "You pay that chimp more than you pay us. I had to borrow from the chimp to got a mortgage on my house."
Theo: "And those stupid Siamese glass cats you get us every year for Christmas. I don't want any more Siamese glass cats!"
Dewey Cox: "The Siamese cat is a symbol of nobility in ancient Egypt."
Sam: "Bleep nobility!"
Dave: "Bleep ancient Egypt!"
Theo: "Bleep cats!"
Sam: "And you never paid for drugs. Not once."
Dave: "You slept with my wife."
Theo: "You slept with me too! And I've had confused feelings about that for 10 years now!"
Sam: "And you never once paid for drugs! Not once."


imzeus.wav(134K) imzeus.mp3(61K) imzeus.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "I'm Zeus! No mortal can stop me!"


cametotellyou.wav(1491K) cametotellyou.mp3(677K) cametotellyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Ah! Nate?!"
Older Nate (Jonah Hill): "This is what I's look like if I'd grow up into an adult and perhaps hadn't been murdered or whatever. I just came to tell you you need to get your shit together!"
Dewey Cox: "I know. I've fallen again."
Older Nate: "Will you listen to yourself? You keep whining like a little bitch. If I was alive today, I'd be the bleeping president of the United States. I'd be on the moon, walking around looking for aliens to kill."
Dewey Cox: "What?"
Older Nate: "You know why Dad liked me better than you? Because I was better than you. When I played the piano, I was bleeping awesome."
Dewey Cox: "Well, you think it's been easy for me? Since you're gone, I got no sense of smell."
Older Nate: "Oh, you got so sense of smell? You can't smell anything? You can't smell anything? I got no sense of having legs, Dewey! I had no life! I'm dead because somebody, I'm not gonna point out names right now, decided to murder me with a machete."
Dewey Cox: "Nate."
Older Nate: "I can't even smell, touch, feel. I can't even masturbate. You ever try to jerk off with a ghost hand? Nothing! I'm just trying to say you need to fix this shit. You need to get out of that bathtub and you need to start writing songs again."


idoloveheehaw.wav(203K) idoloveheehaw.mp3(93K) idoloveheehaw.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "I'm a serious musician. I'm not some TV personality."
Schwartzberg (David Krumholtz): "Well, why can't you be both? Look at those goofy bastards on Hee Haw."
Dewey Cox: "Well, I do love Hee Haw."


creativecontrol.wav(424K) creativecontrol.mp3(193K) creativecontrol.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Alright, you call them back today and you tell Mr. CBS that I will do it if I have total creative control."
Schwartzberg: "Dewey, you can't have any creative control."
Dewey Cox: "Okay. Alright, let's just do it then. Bleep it, let's just do it. I'm bored."


walkhard70stv.wav(813K) walkhard70stv.mp3(370K) walkhard70stv.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(The 70s TV version of "Walk Hard" Written by Marshall Crenshaw, John C. Reilly, Judd Apatow and Jake Kasdan Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"


tobeastar.wav(559K) tobeastar.mp3(254K) tobeastar.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(A clip of "You Don't Have To Be A Star" Written by John Glover and James Dean Produced by Michael Andrews Originally Performed by Marilyn McCoo Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"


whowantstoparty.wav(416K) whowantstoparty.mp3(190K) whowantstoparty.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(A clip of "Who Wants to Party" Written by Dan Bern and Mike Viola Produced by Michael Andrews Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"


energycrisis.wav(369K) energycrisis.mp3(168K) energycrisis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "I honestly don't know what they're talking about with this energy crisis, because I have plenty of energy. Alright? I am loaded with energy. Look, I gave up politics a long time ago. You know, let somebody else march. I wanna play Frisbee. I'm on the beach. I'm not marching on the beach."


ilovethenightlife.wav(361K) ilovethenightlife.mp3(165K) ilovethenightlife.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(A clip of "I Love the Night Life" Written by Alicia Bridges and Susan Hutcheson Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"


starman.wav(655K) starman.mp3(298K) starman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(A clip of "Starman" Written by David Bowie Produced by Michael Andrews Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"


yourkids.wav(381K) yourkids.mp3(174K) yourkids.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

TV Interviewer (Jane Lynch): "Tell us about your kids. I know you got a whole slew of them. What's going on with them?"
Dewey Cox: "I'm locked in a custody battle with at this time. Custody is being forced upon me, which I don't think is right. You know, if you don't want the responsibility of children, you should be able to walk away from that and apparently a couple of my ex-wives don't feel the same."


doublegreat.wav(76K) doublegreat.mp3(35K) doublegreat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Older Nate: "You were supposed to be double great for the both of us. What the bleep is this bullshit?"


culmination.wav(165K) culmination.mp3(75K) culmination.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Older Nate: "All I'm asking is that you write one masterpiece that is the culmination of your entire life. How hard is that?"


rightkid.wav(790K) rightkid.mp3(359K) rightkid.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Pa Cox: "Dewey, I don't know what to say."
Dewey Cox: "You don't have to say anything, Pa. I just wanted to come here and tell you that I loved you and I always have."
Pa Cox: "I appreciate you finding the courage to say that Dewey. But there's only one way to settle this. Machetes."
Dewey Cox: "What?"
Pa Cox: "The right kid is gonna die tonight."
Dewey Cox: "You've been practicing!"


halvedmyself.wav(90K) halvedmyself.mp3(42K) halvedmyself.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Pa Cox: "Oh, my goodness! I halved myself."


itisright.wav(845K) itisright.mp3(384K) itisright.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Pa Cox: "Dewey, I guess I never realized until this moment just how easy it is to accidentally cut someone in half."
Dewey Cox: "It is, right?"
Pa Cox: "I'm sorry for blaming you, Dewey. Of course you didn't mean to cut Nate in half. It's all so obvious now."
Dewey Cox: "Pa."
Pa Cox: "I should have been a better father to you, Dewey. I wish I spent more time playing catch with you and less time training my body and mind to kill you in a machete fight. You be a better father than I was, Dewey."
Dewey Cox: "I'll try, Pa. It shouldn't be that hard."


yourname.wav(731K) yourname.mp3(332K) yourname.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey 'Dewdrop' Cox (Skyler Gisondo): "Dad?"
Dewey Cox: "Yes, what is it, son?"
Dewdrop Cox: "I was just wondering if you wanna have a catch."
Dewey Cox: "A catch? Son, there is nothing in this world I want more than to have a catch with you. So forgive me, this is going to sound strange, but what is your name again?"


timetomakeup.wav(301K) timetomakeup.mp3(137K) timetomakeup.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "I reckon we got some lost time to make up, you and me. And all your brothers and sisters. How many of your are there now?"
Dewdrop Cox: "Twenty-two brothers and sisters. And also 14 half brothers and half-sisters."
Dewey Cox: "Holy shit. This may take a while."


icansmell.wav(803K) icansmell.mp3(365K) icansmell.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "I can smell again! I smelt it! I smell you."
Darlene: "Smell it."
Dewey Cox: "Oh, you been driving me wild. I smelt it! I smelt it! I smelt it, God!"
Darlene: "It's a miracle!"
Dewey Cox: "I swell you, flowers. I smell you, twig. I smell horseshit! Ah! It's horrible! But I can smell it!"
Darlene: "Smell that shit, baby!"
Dewey Cox: "I smelt it."


quaaludes.wav(166K) quaaludes.mp3(76K) quaaludes.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Anyway, that's when I learned that Quaaludes and water-skiing do not mix. Now, you remember that."


mygarndma.wav(85K) mygarndma.mp3(39K) mygarndma.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Pierced Nose Girl (Stacey Scowley): "He bleeped my grandma."
Pierced Lip Girl (Ajla Hodzic): "That's awesome."


boner.wav(728K) boner.mp3(331K) boner.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "Sam. What are y'all doing in here?"
Sam: "Dewey, get out of here. You don't want no part of this shit."
Dewey Cox: "What is it?"
Sam: "It's a medication for erectile dysfunction. It gives you a boner. Not to be used if you have a pre-existing heart condition. If boners last for more than four hours call more ladies."
Dewey Cox: "Well, that does sound tempting. But do you know what, Sam? I really don't want no part of that shit."
Sam: "Did you hear what I said? It gives you a boner."
Dewey Cox: "Hate to let you down, old friend but I don't want to give in to the Temptations."


temptations.wav(362K) temptations.mp3(165K) temptations.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

The Temptations: "(Singing "My Girl")"
Dewey Cox: "Ah! The Temptations!"
The Temptations: "(Continue singing)"


beautifulride.wav(5133K) beautifulride.mp3(2329K) beautifulride.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(A clip of "Beautiful Ride" Written by Dan Bern and Mike Viola Produced by Michael Andrews Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"


bigdaddy.wav(1573K) bigdaddy.mp3(714K) bigdaddy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(A clip of "(I Hate You) Big Daddy" Written by Mike Viola Produced by Michael Andrews Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"


deweycoxdied.wav(2177K) deweycoxdied.mp3(988K) deweycoxdied.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(A clip of "(Have You Heard The News) Dewey Cox Died" Written by Dan Bern Produced by Michael Andrews Performed by John C. Reilly (as Dewey Cox))"


walkhardcredits.wav(1049K) walkhardcredits.mp3(477K) walkhardcredits.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dewey Cox: "(A clip of "Walk Hard" Written by Marshall Crenshaw, John C. Reilly, Judd Apatow and Jake Kasdan from the credits)"

 
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