All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).
putdownwmd.wav(74K) putdownwmd.mp3(74K) putdownwmd.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Joe (Trey Parker): "You in the robes, put down the weapon of mass destruction and get on the ground. You're under arrest."
worldpolice.wav(21K) worldpolice.mp3(21K) worldpolice.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Carson (Trey Parker): "World Police! Get down on the ground!"
terrorizethis.wav(71K) terrorizethis.mp3(71K) terrorizethis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Lisa (Kristen Miller): "Hey terrorist! Terrorize this!"
youloose.wav(36K) youloose.mp3(36K) youloose.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Chris (Matt Stone): "You lose."
damnimissed.wav(182K) damnimissed.mp3(182K) damnimissed.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Carson: "He's getting away with the WMD."
Joe: "I got him. (He shoots the Eiffel Tower with an RPG.) Damn, I missed him."
aidssong.wav(762K) aidssong.mp3(762K) aidssong.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gary Johnston (Trey Parker): "(The Aids song from the Musical Lease)"
seeneverything.wav(112K) seeneverything.mp3(112K) seeneverything.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gary: "Okay, a limosine that can fly. Now I have seen everything."
Spottswoode (Daran Norris): "Really? Have you seen a man eat his own head?"
Spottswoode: "SO then you haven't seen everything."
affirmative.wav(22K) affirmative.mp3(22K) affirmative.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Intelligenge (Phil Hendrie): "That is affirmative."
911x10091100.wav(138K) 911x10091100.mp3(138K) 911x10091100.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Spottswoode: "From what Intelligence has gathered, it would be 9/11 times 100."
Gary: "9/11 times 100? Jesus, that's--"
Spottswoode: "Yes, 91,100."
theresthedoor.wav(238K) theresthedoor.mp3(238K) theresthedoor.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Spottswoode: "We will disguise you as as terrorist and take you deep into the Middle East. If your acting is successful, you'll be able to get us all the information we need to stop this whole thing from happening. Of course, if you're not interested there's the door."
Gary: "Alright, thanks. (He walks out the door.)"
freedomisntfree.wav(786K) freedomisntfree.mp3(786K) freedomisntfree.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Trey Parker: "("Freedom Isn't Free" song)"
delivery.wav(217K) delivery.mp3(217K) delivery.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il (Trey Parker): "Do you have any idea how bleeping busy I am? I cannot believe that I actually have a Chechnyan standing here telling me when he's gonna take a delivery. Hello?"
Chechnian Terrorist (Phil Hendrie): "Perhaps we can be ready sooner."
Kim Jong Il: "Yes, perhaps you can. Now take your weapons of mass destruction and get the bleep outta here!"
policetheworld.wav(41K) policetheworld.mp3(41K) policetheworld.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Spottswoode: "We've got a job to do. Let's go police the world."
americaBLEEPyeah.wav(381K) americaBLEEPyeah.mp3(381K) americaBLEEPyeah.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Trey Parker: "("America bleep Yeah" song verse 1)"
fearnot.wav(73K) fearnot.mp3(73K) fearnot.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Sarah (Masasa): "Fear not, Muslim friends. We're here to find terrorists. I'm clearing your minds of all anxiety."
yourballsoff.wav(101K) yourballsoff.mp3(101K) yourballsoff.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Chris: "Let's get one thing straight, actor. I don't trust you. And if you betray us, I'l rip your bleeping balls off and stuff them up your ass so that the next time you bleep, you'll bleep all over your balls, got it?"
ilikeballs.wav(56K) ilikeballs.mp3(56K) ilikeballs.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Chechnian Terrorist: "I like you. You've got balls. I like balls."
trapped.wav(25K) trapped.mp3(25K) trapped.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Sarah: "I sense Gary's trapped inside the tavern."
americaBLEEPyeah2.wav(272K) americaBLEEPyeah2.mp3(272K) americaBLEEPyeah2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Trey Parker: "("America bleep Yeah" song verse 2)"
surprise.wav(17K) surprise.mp3(17K) surprise.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Chris: "Surprise, cockfags!"
donthavewmds.wav(88K) donthavewmds.mp3(88K) donthavewmds.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il: "I don't have any weapons of mass destruction. Okay, Hans?"
breakingmyballs.wav(41K) breakingmyballs.mp3(41K) breakingmyballs.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il: "Hans, you're breaking my balls here. You're breaking my balls."
veryangry.wav(173K) veryangry.mp3(173K) veryangry.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Hans Prix (Trey Parker): "I'm sorry, but the U.N. must be firm with you. Let me see your whole palace or else."
Kim Jong Il: "Or else what?"
Hans: "Or else we will be very, very angry with you. And we will write you a letter telling you how angry we are."
thereyougo.wav(48K) thereyougo.mp3(48K) thereyougo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il: "There you go, Hans Prix. How you like that, you bleeping bleepsucker?"
inspectthat.wav(50K) inspectthat.mp3(50K) inspectthat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il: "You want inspection? Well, inspect that, you buttbleeping piece of bleep!"
mattdamon.wav(24K) mattdamon.mp3(24K) mattdamon.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Matt Damon (Matt Stone): "Matt Damon."
alrightwedidit.wav(26K) alrightwedidit.mp3(26K) alrightwedidit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Chris: "Alright, we bleeping did it!"
twoholes.wav(71K) twoholes.mp3(71K) twoholes.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Chris: "The next time you pull a stunt like that, I'll drill two holes through your dick so that when you pee, it shoots out in all different directions. You got it?"
neverdie.wav(259K) neverdie.mp3(259K) neverdie.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gary: "I really like you. There's no chance we can ever be together?"
Lisa: "Only if you can promise me you'll never die."
Gary: "You know I can't promise that."
Lisa: "If you did that, I would make love to you right now."
Gary: "I promise. I will never die."
onlyawoman.wav(507K) onlyawoman.mp3(507K) onlyawoman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Trey Parker: "("Only A Woman" song)"
badintelligence.wav(107K) badintelligence.mp3(107K) badintelligence.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Spottswoode: "It apears now that Intelligence was wrong about the Chechnyans being in charge. That was bad intelligence. Very bad intelligence."
Intelligenge: "I'm sorry."
911x1000.wav(131K) 911x1000.mp3(131K) 911x1000.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Spottswoode: "Team, if the Derka Derkastanis have weapons of mass destruction, I'm afraid it could be 9/11 times 1,000."
Sarah: "Jesus, you mean?"
Spottswoode: "Yes, Nine hundred and eleven thousand."
noiinteamamerica.wav(49K) noiinteamamerica.mp3(49K) noiinteamamerica.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Spottswoode: "Remember, there is no I in Team America."
Intelligence: "Yes there is."
americaBLEEPyeah3.wav(538K) americaBLEEPyeah3.mp3(538K) americaBLEEPyeah3.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Trey Parker: "("America bleep Yeah" song downbeat version)"
muhammadali.wav(33K) muhammadali.mp3(33K) muhammadali.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Terrorist: "Hike Derka Derka."
Terrorist: "Hike Muhammad Ali."
shootthemdown.wav(27K) shootthemdown.mp3(27K) shootthemdown.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il: "Shoot them down, like dogs."
computersaredown.wav(33K) computersaredown.mp3(33K) computersaredown.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il: "Their computers are down! Attack!"
onscreen.wav(26K) onscreen.mp3(26K) onscreen.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il: "Terrorists on screen."
thesignal.wav(290K) thesignal.mp3(290K) thesignal.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il: "Okay, who blew up Panama Canal?"
Terrorist: "We were angry about Cairo."
Kim Jong Il: "bleepdamn it, how many times do I have to tell you? You don't use the WMDs until you see the signal. I have worked ten years on this plan. It is a very precise and a complicated plan. I am sick of you terrorists bleeping it up. Now take the weapons where I told you and wait for the bleepdamn signal this time! Goodbye!"
sostupid.wav(26K) sostupid.mp3(26K) sostupid.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il: "Why is everyone so bleeping stupid?"
imsolonely.wav(1215K) imsolonely.mp3(1215K) imsolonely.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il: "("I'm So Lonely" song)"
threepeople.wav(517K) threepeople.mp3(517K) threepeople.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gary: "I said, get away from me! I'm completely lost. I've hit rock bottom."
Drunk: "Easy, easy, whoa, you gotta calm down there, Chuck."
Gary: "I hurt people. I'm a dick."
Drunk: "Well, being a dick ain't so bad. See, there's three kinds of people: Dicks, pussies, and bleepholes. Pussies think everyone can get along and dicks just wanna bleep all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your bleepholes, Chuck. And all the bleepholes want is to bleep all over everything. So pussies may get mad at dick once in a while because pussies get bleeped by dicks. But dicks also bleep bleepholes, Chuck. And if they didn't the bleepholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in bleep."
calmdownchuck.wav(31K) calmdownchuck.mp3(31K) calmdownchuck.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Drunk (Trey Parker): "Easy, easy, whoa, you gotta calm down there, Chuck."
threstreet.wav(24K) threstreet.mp3(24K) threstreet.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Lady (Trey Parker): "Get outta the street you bleepin' bum!"
911x2356.wav(145K) 911x2356.mp3(145K) 911x2356.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il: "It will be 9/11 times 2,356."
Chris: "My god, that's... I don't even know what that is."
Kim Jong Il: "Nobody does."
upstairs.wav(55K) upstairs.mp3(55K) upstairs.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il: "You shal have a front row seat. Bringe her upstairs. (I don't know why but I just thought it was funny the way he says upstairs)"
pearharborsucked.wav(899K) pearharborsucked.mp3(899K) pearharborsucked.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Trey Parker: "("Pearl Harbor Sucked" song)"
quitter.wav(202K) quitter.mp3(202K) quitter.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gary: "You'll kill them all."
Spottswoode: "It's what they would want me to do, Gary."
Gary: "They would happily give their lives for the good of the world, something you don't understand!"
Spottswoode: "There has to be another way."
Gary: "There's nobody left to stop Kim Jong Il."
Spottswoode: "Let me go."
Gary: "You? You're a buttbleeping quitter."
montagesong.wav(733K) montagesong.mp3(733K) montagesong.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Trey Parker: "("Montage" song)"
ohhello.wav(20K) ohhello.mp3(20K) ohhello.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il: "Oh, hello!"
credentials.wav(189K) credentials.mp3(189K) credentials.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Korean Guard 1 (Trey Parker): "Who the hell you?"
Gary: "I'm with the Film Actors Guild. I'm here to help with the broadcast."
Korean Guard 2 (Trey Parker): "Then you show credentials."
Gary: "Hey, you don't need to see my credentials. I left them at home and I'm running late."
Korean Guard 2: "I believe him."
Korean Guard 1: "Yeah, me too. Okay, have a nice day."
wereguards.wav(164K) wereguards.mp3(164K) wereguards.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Joe: "Please, Mr. Sheen, Mr. Robbins, you don't understand what Kim Jong Il is doing."
Martin Sheen (Trey Parker): "Shut up. We have explicit instructions to watch you."
Tim Robbins (Trey Parker): "Yeah. We're supposed to be guards."
Martin Sheen: "We're guards."
Tim Robbins: "We're guards, huh? We're guards."
Martin Sheen: "We're guards."
proventome.wav(230K) proventome.mp3(230K) proventome.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Chris: "Well, I'm not going anywhere with this bleeping traitor."
Joe: "Yeah, what makes you think we'll take you back, you douchebag?"
Chris: "We're doing this without you!"
Spottswoode: "Now, hold on, team. Gary has already proven to me that he is 100 percent commited to the team. He proved it to me last night by sucking my cock."
JOe: "Alright. Come on, team, we gotta find that stage."
inevitable.wav(165K) inevitable.mp3(165K) inevitable.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il: "And now you see, the new world in inevitable."
Lisa: "It's what?"
Kim Jong Il: "Inevita-- Inevitable."
Lisa: "One more time?"
Kim Jong Il: "Inevitable!"
Lisa: "Things are inevitbly going to change. bleepdamn it, open your bleeping ears."
yourewithme.wav(20K) yourewithme.mp3(20K) yourewithme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Chris: "I guess you're with me, cockfag."
mattdamon2.wav(18K) mattdamon2.mp3(18K) mattdamon2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Matt Damon: "Matt Damon."
goodgoing.wav(127K) goodgoing.mp3(127K) goodgoing.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Alec Baldwin (Maurice LaMarche): "One day you'll all look at the world us actors created and say, 'Wow. Good going F.A.G. You really made the world a better place, didn't you, F.A.G.?'"
infiveminutes.wav(147K) infiveminutes.mp3(147K) infiveminutes.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il: "You see, no Prince Charming rode in on a white stallion to save the day. This is the real world. I'm afraid your world is over... in five minutes."
dontBLEEPingmove.wav(16K) dontBLEEPingmove.mp3(16K) dontBLEEPingmove.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Tim Robbins: "Don't bleeping move!"
weredicks.wav(863K) weredicks.mp3(863K) weredicks.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gary: "We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an bleephole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get bleeped by dicks. But dicks also bleep bleepholes, bleepholes who just wanna bleep on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with bleepholes their way. But the only thing that can bleep an bleephole is a dick with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they bleep too much. Or bleep when it isn't appropriate."
Spottswoode: "Yes, Gary, yes."
Gary: "And it take a pussy to show 'em that. But sometimes pussies get so full of bleep that they become bleepholes themselves. Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from bleepholes. I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don't let us bleep this bleephole we are gonna have our dicks and our pussies all covered in bleep."
youhadmeat.wav(77K) youhadmeat.mp3(77K) youhadmeat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gary: "Lisa, I'm crazy about you. Will you please forgive me if I--?"
Lisa: "Shh. You had me at 'dicks bleep bleepholes.'"
kindofmanheis.wav(127K) kindofmanheis.mp3(127K) kindofmanheis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Spottswoode: "He's a man who knows that when you put another man's cock in your mouth, you make a pact. A bond that cannot be broken. He's a man so dedicated that he will get down on his knees and put that cock right in his mouth."
americaBLEEPyeah4.wav(730K) americaBLEEPyeah4.mp3(730K) americaBLEEPyeah4.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Trey Parker: "("America bleep Yeah" song credits version)"
aidsong2.wav(207K) aidsong2.mp3(207K) aidsong2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gary: "("Everyone Has Aids" song short version from the credits)"
freedomisntfree2.wav(397K) freedomisntfree2.mp3(397K) freedomisntfree2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Trey Parker: "("Freedom Isn't Free" song short version from the credits)"
onlyawoman2.wav(329K) onlyawoman2.mp3(329K) onlyawoman2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Trey Parker: "("Only A Woman" song short version from the credits)"
imsolonely2.wav(537K) imsolonely2.mp3(537K) imsolonely2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Trey Parker: "("I'm So Lonely" song short version from the credits)"
pearharborsucked2.wav(686K) pearharborsucked2.mp3(686K) pearharborsucked2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Trey Parker: "("Pearl Harbor Sucked" song short version from the credits)"
montagesong2.wav(515K) montagesong2.mp3(515K) montagesong2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Trey Parker: "("Montage" song short version from the credits)"
worthlessalecbaldwin.wav(829K) worthlessalecbaldwin.mp3(829K) worthlessalecbaldwin.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kim Jong Il: "("You Are Worthless Alec Baldwin" song from credits)"