Movie Quotes - Movie Sounds - Movie Wavs
 


 

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All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).


cutclass.wav(234K) cutclass.mp3(234K) cutclass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jennifer Chester (Kerri Green): "Uh, good morning, Dad."
Jack Chester (John Candy): "Good morning, Jennifer."
Jennifer: "When you were in school, did you ever cut class?"
Jack: "Uh, yeah. I guess I did. Most kids cut classes."
Jennifer: "Good. Sign this."


revel.wav(37K) revel.mp3(37K) revel.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "How does it feel to always be right?"
Sandy Chester (Karen Austin): "I revel in it."


youmoron.wav(69K) youmoron.mp3(69K) youmoron.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "Hey, what the... Hey you... You son of a bitch! Why don't you come back and try that again? You moron!"


ihateflies.wav(337K) ihateflies.mp3(337K) ihateflies.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "And you, November 3-4-7 Gulf... Where are you? Where the hell are you? Come in! Where are you! I said... Acknowledge, please! Acknowledge, please! Where are you?"
Hal (Frank McCarthy): "It's okay, Jack."
Jack: "It's not okay. I got a small plane here and I don't know where it is! I can't find it."
Hal: "Jack, a fly landed on your screen."
Jack: "I hate flies! I hate them. Filthy things. They do that's what they do."


canidrive.wav(74K) canidrive.mp3(74K) canidrive.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Laurie Chester (Aubrey Jene): "Daddy, can I drive?"
Jack: "Yeah, sure. Why not? I figured we'd divvy it up a little bit. You can have the second 100 miles."




barking.wav(228K) barking.mp3(228K) barking.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "Hi. (continuous barking) Archie! It's okay. He's just barking, that's all. Just barking. Don't be afraid. Come on, Arch! HE always barks at people he likes. Come on, Arch! He must really like you a lot. Archie, get your ass up here right now! (barking stops)"


swimming.wav(296K) swimming.mp3(296K) swimming.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Sandy: "When you're finished, you can take thi kids swimming."
Jack: "Swimming? Aw, gee! I forgot my bathing suit. I guess I can't go in the water all summer. Aw."
Sandy: "Jack, nobody cares what you look like in a bathing suit."
Jack: "That's just it."
Sandy: "I'm gonna pick one up for you."
Jack: "Well, I'm not gonna wear it. Not until I lose maybe three or four pounds."
Sandy: "I love the way you look in a bathing suit."
Jack: "My mother was right. You're twisted."
Sandy: "Mm-hmm."


kindared.wav(148K) kindared.mp3(148K) kindared.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jennifer: "Dad, you're kinda red."
Jack: "Good. Good. I wanted to get a little color. You know... That's a good base. That's a good base. You got to do these things in stages."


wesitnext.wav(91K) wesitnext.mp3(91K) wesitnext.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "It's okay. I took care of everything. We're next. Nobody tells me I can't sit. I'll sit when I want to sit. We're next. We sit next."


isonyou.wav(152K) isonyou.mp3(152K) isonyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Al Pellet (Richard Crenna): "What do you say? Let's all have the lobster. Show us what you got. And, Stan, no arguments. This dinner is on you. He thought I was gonna say on me."


mylobsters.wav(356K) mylobsters.mp3(356K) mylobsters.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "Don't serve those."
Al Pellet: "What are you doing?"
Jack: "These are my lobsters."
Al Pellet: "Your lobsters?"
Jack: "Yeah, you got my table. But you're not getting my lobsters."
Al Pellet: "And this is your table?"
Jack: "My table!"
Al Pellet: "Oh, I see. This is your table, and these are your lobsters."
Jack: "You got it."
Al Pellet: "I suppose this is your wife, hmmm? Is this your tie?"
Jack: "Nope."
Al Pellet: "Is this your shirt?"
Jack: "Mm-mm."
Al Pellet: "Is this your belt? Are these your shorts?"


rats.wav(126K) rats.mp3(126K) rats.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "Come on. We're going to a good restaurant."
Sandy: "Good idea."
Laurie: "I'm hungry."
Jack: "I know sweetheart. You don't want to eat in a place where there's rats. And I just found some rats in the back."
Sandy: "How disgusting."
Jack: "Ohh! A whole nest of rats right in the back."


aslob.wav(27K) aslob.mp3(27K) aslob.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Al Pellet: "I appologize. The man was obviously a slob."


bonappetit.wav(136K) bonappetit.mp3(136K) bonappetit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "We'll take five."
Skully (Rip Torn): "Cortez!"
Cortez (Santos Morales): "Si Senor?"
Skully: "Cinco Skully's Catch of the Day."
Cortez: "Cinco Skully's Catches of the Day."
Skully: "Bon appetit."


sunburn.wav(144K) sunburn.mp3(144K) sunburn.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "Ow! It hurts!"
Sandy: "Oh, poor baby."
Jack: "Ow! I'm not a baby. Ooh! Mommy, make it go away. It hurts. Ooh. Oh! I hate the sun!"
Sandy: "I know."
Jack: "Ohh."


whothe.wav(491K) whothe.mp3(491K) whothe.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Dan Gardner (Dick Anthony Williams): "Who the hell are you people?"
Jack: "Who the hell are we? We're the tree bears! Who the hell are you?"
Dan Gardner: "I'm Dan Gardner, the owener of this house."
Jack: "Well' look, Dan. I don't know how many of you oweners there are but I rented this house from Elwin Haskell."
Dan Gardner: "You rented... May I see your receipt?"
Jack: "You want to see my receipt? Alright you ca... Where the hell's my receipt?"
Sandy: "Uh, it's on the table."
Jack: "Alright! What is this one of those time-sharing places? Here it is, 'Month of July, Jack Chester'. That's moi '415 Beach Road, $2,000'!"
Dan Gardner: "415 Beach Road?"
Jack: "That's right."
Dan Gardner: "This house is 415 Beach Lane."


wetmybed.wav(52K) wetmybed.mp3(52K) wetmybed.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Laurie: "I wet my bed, Daddy."
Jack: "No, sweetheart, you didn't wet your bed. You wet their bed."


gonads.wav(104K) gonads.mp3(104K) gonads.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "Should she be talking to him?"
Sandy: "Why not?"
Jack: "Why not? Are you crazy? He's a lifeguard. They're all sex maniacs. Right now each of his gonads are screaming, 'Me first'."


bigfart.wav(61K) bigfart.mp3(61K) bigfart.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "I got a kid in the boat. You were the one who was supposed to move, dipbleep!"
Bobby Chester (Joey Lawrence): "Yeah, you big fart!"


ohshoot.wav(43K) ohshoot.mp3(43K) ohshoot.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Sandy: "Oh, bleep! Shoot! I mean, shoot."
Laurie: "Oh, shoot!"


gofetch.wav(207K) gofetch.mp3(207K) gofetch.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "What do you want? (barking) Oh, your bone. Well, you go get your bone. (barking) Well, go get it! (barking) Alright, I'll get your damn bone. Oh jeeze, I thought the dog was the one who was supposed to go fetch."


theylook.wav(1352K) theylook.mp3(1352K) theylook.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Vicki (Lois Hamilton): "So, can I have your honest opinion about something?"
Jack: "Sure."
Vicki: "What do you think of these? Well, what do you think?"
Jack: "About what?"
Vicki: "These."
Jack: "Oh, those."
Vicki: "Yeah, how do they look?"
Jack: "Uh, similar."
Vicki: "No, I mean, do they look good? I just got them."
Jack: "Who had 'em before you?"
Vicki: "Nobody, silly. I just recently had them enlarged."
Jack: "Oh, I see."
Vicki: "They cost $2,000. It was either these or a chain sow for Ed."
Jack: "Good choice."
Vicki: "You think so?"
Jack: "Oh, sure, I'd take those over a power tool anyday."
Vicki: "Do they look like real breasts to you?"
Jack: "Well, you fooled me."
Vicki: "You don't think they're too big?"
Jack: "No! No, no. (man yawning.) Would that be Ed?"
Vicki: "Yeah, he's getting up from his nap."
Jack: "Ah, you'll excuse me. I'm a dead man. Aw, great. Husband's coming, and I blow a leg."
Ed (Carmine Caridi): "bleepdamnit! Again? Put your top on!"
Jack: "I'm sorry mister. I didn't see anything, I swear."
Ed: "He's our next door neighbor."
Jack: "I'm just renting here, that's all."
Ed: "I'm sorry mister but she's boring the whole world with her new knockers."
Vicki: "Oh, be quiet, Ed. I just want his opinion."
Ed: "She's so insecure. Last night she shoved them in a clerk's face at the 7-11. Honey, relax, will ya. They're beautiful. They look right and they feel right."
Vicki: "Yeah."
Ed: "Mister, will you try them and tell her they feel right? As a favor to me."
Jack: "Oh, yeah."
Ed: "Heh?"
Jack: "Boy, those are so likelike, it's ridiculous."
Ed: "Honey, everybody like them. Thanks, buddy, I owe you one."
Jack: "What are neighbors for? I got to go home now."
Ed: "I gave up a power tool for those."
Jack: "Well, christmas in right around the corner."
Ed: "Yeah."
Jack: "$2,000 for the set, huh?"
Ed: "Yeah, for both of them."
Jack: "Boy, that's a deal. Those are fun for the whole family. I got to tell my wif about this."
Ed: "We'll give you the doctor's number."
Jack: "All right."


similar.wav(175K) similar.mp3(175K) similar.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Vicki: "What do you think of these? Well, what do you think?"
Jack: "About what?"
Vicki: "These."
Jack: "Oh, those."
Vicki: "Yeah, how do they look?"
Jack: "Uh, similar."


thesmurfs.wav(236K) thesmurfs.mp3(236K) thesmurfs.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "You, out."
Fat man (Roger Perkovich): "Bug off, buddy. I was here first."
Jack: "Get the hell out of here now."
Fat man: "You get out of here, fella. I'm trying to watch The Smurfs."
Jack: "Yeah?"
Fat man: "Yeah."
Jack: "You're trying to watch The Smurfs?"
Fat man: "Yeah."
Jack: "Did you see the one where Papa Smurf took a crutch and smashed the bleep out of a guy with a red hat? Did you see that one? You want to see that one?"


drunk.wav(37K) drunk.mp3(37K) drunk.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Skully: "What can I get you?"
Jack: "How about, uh, drunk?"


fighter.wav(265K) fighter.mp3(265K) fighter.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "You're wrong. You're wrong. You're wrong. You're wrong."
Skully: "I'm trying to tell you that as a fighter, pound for pound, my boy Jimmy Cagney will disintegrate your Sylvester Stallone. He'll knock his block off."
Jack: "In a street fight, maybe. Yes. I give you that. But not in a movie. Especially not with todays cinemanatic advancements. It's technologically impossible."


ateemall.wav(168K) ateemall.mp3(168K) ateemall.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "Do you have any more of those little oyster crackers left?"
Skully: "You ate 'em all!"
Jack: "Ah, they were so good. Maybe I'll just have another beer. They're pretty filling, aren't they?"
Skully: "Mas cerveza!"
Jack: "Yeah. It's probably better for me."


loveboat.wav(480K) loveboat.mp3(480K) loveboat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "You must know a lot of ocean songs."
Skully: "I do. Here's a sea ditty me mother taught me. 'Love Exciting and new Come aboard We're expecting you And love Life's sweetest reward Let it flow'"
Jack and Skully: "'It flows back to you The Love Boat Soon we'll be making another run The Love Boat'"


easyforyou.wav(315K) easyforyou.mp3(315K) easyforyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Skully: "Well, what do you make of my girl?"
Angus MacLachlan (Richard Herd): "Well, your gunnels to thar pinions. And your pipswain iw wantin' some crackin'. I na think ya'll crowdy yer dinpins. S'no worse than yer deck hoove t'gron."
Skully: "That's easy for you to say. But what do we do about it, Angus?"
Angus: "Yar fastions need a wont of brookin'. Ya'll ne'er be gradin' tow wind with yar barswain."
Jack: "Uh, in laman's terms, how bad is she?"
Angus: "She's a total pig."


dirty.wav(86K) dirty.mp3(86K) dirty.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Jack: "What are you doing?"
Sandy: "Taking a dirty picture. This is the dirtiest version of you I've ever seen."

 
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