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"The Voice" (Roger L. Jackson): "Let's play a little game. Answer right, your girlfriend lives. Answer wrong, she dies. Where's Maureen's daughter Sidney?"
Cotton Weary (Liev Schreiber): "Who the bleep is this?"
"The Voice": "Someone who'd kill to find out where Sidney Prescott is. One chance Cotton, you've got connections. Where is she?"
Cotton: "You listen to me you bleeping psycho, you lay a finger on Christine, and I swear to God, I'll kill you."
"The Voice": "Wrong answer (hangs up)"
Cotton: "No wait!"

Cotton's Voice: "I was just you know, trying to take the game to the next level. I'm sorry, open the door Chris"
Christine (Kelly Rutherford): "The game?"
Cotton's Voice: "Yeah, the game!"
Christine: "What are you talking about?"
Cotton's Voice: "I'm talking about how fun it's gonna be to rip your insides out. Now open the bleeping door Christine!"

John Milton (Lance Henrickson): "Detectives, there's no reason to presume that Cotton's death had anything to do with this movie is there?"
Wallace (Josh pais): "He was making a movie called Stab! He was stbbed!"

Tom Prinze (Matt Keeslar): "And that story you did last month on me crashing my car, wow was that ever powerful journalism."
Gale Weathers (Courteney Cox): "Right uh."
Tom Prinze: "I especially liked the way you implied that is was caused by drinking and drugs and the tire blowout was faked. That was great."

Jay Phat Buds (Jason Mewes): "Oh, bleep Silent Bob, it's that tv news chick Connie bleepin Chung. Hey Connie, how's Maury?"

Jay: "Dude, I think she likes me man. See how she's looking at me?"

Sarah Darling (Jenny McCarthy): "Has there been another bleepdamn rewrite? How the bleep are we supposed to learn our lines when there's a new script every fifteen minutes?"
Roman's Voice: "It's not just a new script, it's a new movie."
Sarah: "What, what movie?"
Roman's Voice: "My movie, and it's called Sarah gets scewered like a bleeping pig."

Steven Stone (Patrick Warburton): "Hey, dew drop, can I have a word, just so we can be strait? Now I'm the professional celebrity guard here. My resume lists Julia Roberts, salmon Rushdi, Posh Spice. You are the Hollywood hangeroner, cause you're no good as a cop anymore. Your resume reads like an obiturary, so, how about you take suggestions from me. Ai-ite!"

Wallace: "Well, in that case, I'm gonna go dust for fingerprints with Jane Pauley."

Jennifer Jolie (Parker Posey): "Remind me not sleep with him again."

"The Voice": "Just one question, do you think it's over Sidney, do you?"

Steven Stone: "Hey, dew drop, I got your girlfriend out here."

Steven Stone: "Is that an order dew drop? Cause Steven Stone doesn't work for you."

Jennifer Jolie: "My lawyer liked that."
Gale: "Not as much as I did."

Dwight 'Dewey' Riley (David Arquette): "Is that a threat detective?"
Detective Mark Kincaid (Patrick Dempsey): "When it's a threat, you'll know it?"
Dewey: "Was hat a threat?"

Gale: "Do you have her number stored in your memory? (he looks up thinking) Phone memory!"
Dewey: "Oh."

Randy Meeks (Jamie Kennedy): "If you find yourself dealing with an unexpected backstory, and a preponderance of exposition, then the sequal rules do not apply, because you ar not dealing with a sequal. You are dealing with the concluding chapter of a trillogy."
Dewey: "A Trillogy?"
Randy: "That's right, It's a rarity in the horror field, but it does exist, and it is a force to be reckoned with, because true trillogys are all about going back to the beginning and discovering something that wasn't true from the get go. Godfater, Jedi, all revealed something that we thought was true, that wasn't true."

Randy: "Here are some super trillogy rules. One, you have a killer who's gonna be superhuman. Stabbing him won't work. Shooting him won't work. Basically, in the third one, you've got to cryogenically freeze his head, decapitate him, or blow him up. Number two, anyone, even the main character can die. This means you Sid, sorry. It's the final chapter, it could be bleepin' Reservoir Dogs by the time this thing is through. Number three, the past will come back to bite you in the ass. Whatever you think you know about the past, forget it. The past is not at rest. Any sins you think were commited in the past are about to break out and destroy you."

Gale: "Hey, are you?"
Bianca Burnette (Carrie Fisher): "No"
Jennifer Jolie: "But, you look just..."
Bianca: "Like her? I've been hearing it all my life."
Jennifer Jolie: "It's uncanney"
Bianca: "I was up for Princess Leia. I was this close, so who get's it? The one who sleeps with George Lucas."

Jennifer Jolie: "You're obcessed with her, and you're obsessed with her daughter!"
Gale: "Alright, easy Geraldo."

"The Voice": "Don't do it! If you do one thing to attract attention to yourself, one thing, and I'll kill them both."

"The Voice": "Oh, it's hard being friends with you Sidney. When you're friends with Sidney, you die. Well, these friends don't have to Sidney, it's up to you."
Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell): "How do I know their voices are..."
"The Voice": "...are real? How do you know you're not hearing things? How do you know I'm not someone in your head? Somewhere? You know..."
Dewey: "Don't come here Sidney"
Gale: "Dewey"
"The Voice": "...or do you?"
Sidney: "You're Dead"
"The Voice": "I don't want them, I want you. It's simple, you show yourself, they survive, you run, they die. Don't you want to know Sidney who killed her? Don't you want to know who killed your mother?"

Dewey: "Be carefull Sid, Randy said the killer is always superhuman."
Sidney: "Yeah well, he wasn't superhuman Dewey. He wasn't superhuman at all."

Sidney: "Head Dewey!"
Dewey: "What?"
Sidney: "Head! Shoot him in the head!"