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Michele: "Shut up and what are you picking on us for anyway? We are not the ones who got fat."
Christie: "We're pregnant, you half-wit."
Michele: "Oh yeah, well, I hope your babies look like....monkeys."

Michele: "Umm...okay."

Romey: "What the hell is your problem Christie? Why are you always such a nasty bitch? You get some sort of sick pleasure from torturing other people? I mean yeah, okay, So Michelle and I did make up some lame story. We only did it because we wanted you to treat us like human beings, but you know what I finally realized? I don't care if you like us, because we don't like you. You're a bad person with an ugly heart, and we don't give a flying bleep what you think."

Michele: "Hey, remember that time I barfed from bad mexican food? It was so gross."
Romy: "Oh my god, I hate throwing up in public."
Michele: "Me too! oh!"

Romey: "He invented some kind of special rubber or something."
Michele: "Like for condoms?"

Michele: "God, this underwear is totally riding up my butt crack!"

Heather: "Why don't you go bleep a sheep, or your sister or yourself? Braindead redneck bleephole!"

Romy: "Hey, umm, great suit...is that an Armani?"
: "Yes, yes it is."
Romy: "I thought so."

Romy: "Well, believe it or not...I invented Post-Its."

Michele: "Oh, okay...umm....I invented Post-Its."