All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).
seatbelt.wav(211K) seatbelt.mp3(211K) seatbelt.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mitch Martin (Luke Wilson): "I'm sorry, your seatbelt seams to be broken. What do you recommend I Do?"
Taxi Driver (Stuart Cornfeld): "I recommend you stop being such a faggot! You're in the back seat!"
gangbang.wav(23K) gangbang.mp3(23K) gangbang.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Gang Bang Guy (Todd Phillips): "I'm here for the gang bang."
judging.wav(362K) judging.mp3(362K) judging.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Frank (Will Ferrell): "This is the best thing that's ever happened to me."
Beanie (Vince Vaughn): "Why don't you give that six months. You donn't think that's gonna change. I got a wife, kids. Do I sound like a happy guy to you Frankie? There's my wife. Now, see that: always smiling, hi honey, judging, watching. Look at the baby, look at the baby!"
congatulations.wav(142K) congatulations.mp3(142K) congatulations.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Beanie: "Well, alright, let me be the first to say congratulate you then. You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart Frank. Way to work it through."
dontdoit.wav(298K) dontdoit.mp3(298K) dontdoit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Priest (Chris Hendrie): "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together to join Franklin and Marissa..."
Beanie: "(coughing) Don't do it. My throut's dry, I'm sorry."
denver.wav(318K) denver.mp3(318K) denver.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mitch: "Yeah, ah, the last that I'd heard of you had uh maved to... what do you call it?"
Nicole (Ellen Pampeo): "Denver."
Mitch: "Oh, the sunshine state um Denver, gorgeous gorgeous!"
youok.wav(191K) youok.mp3(191K) youok.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Nicole: "Are you ok?"
Mitch: "No, no I'm not. Or yeah, I'm just uh... I feel a little... I'm bleeped up!"
truelove.wav(1013K) truelove.mp3(1013K) truelove.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mitch: "...glad and... Excuse me. I'd like to say I'm really glad and proud to be here tonight. I'm glad to see that Frank's dad made it out, that's awesome, I haven't seen him in like eight years. That's great, congratulations!"
Frank: "I love yau dad!"
Mitch: "True love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you've found true love' and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego an a couple of new people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a bleep damn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend and it stops..."
Beanie: "It stops right there and it continues right here because what I think my friend Mitch is trying to say is that true love is blind. Let's raise our glasses, whatever we got in front of us. Salut, Health and happiness."
breadmachine.wav(431K) breadmachine.mp3(431K) breadmachine.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mitch: "Actually, I gave this to you for your uh wedding."
Frank: "This model?"
Mitch: "Um, no, this exact one."
Frank: "I,m sorry, I'm embarrassed. I'm sorry"
Mitch: "It's ok, I hope you like it."
Frank: "Oh, I love it! Thank you."
streetlegal.wav(276K) streetlegal.mp3(276K) streetlegal.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Marissa: "Wow, that's really loud."
Frank: "Yeah, thanks, I took the restrictor plate off. ...give the red dragon a little more juice. But uh, let's keep that on the downlow! It's not exactly street legal."
homedepot.wav(1085K) homedepot.mp3(1085K) homedepot.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Spanish (Rick Gonzalez): "Come hit this right here! You need to hit this!"
Frank: "No, I appreciate it, but I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight. Besides, I got a big day tomorrow, but but you guys have a great time."
Spanish: "Big day, doing what?"
Frank: "Well, um, actually a pretty nice little saturday, we're um, we're gonna go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed Bath And Beyond, I don't know. I Don't know if we'll have enough time."
Frank: "Ok, you know what, you know what, gimmie that thing. I'll do one, I'll do one!"
Spanish: "He's gonna do one."
Frank: "I'll do one."
Spanish: "Now' that's a talented man right there. That's what I'm talking about!"
Frank: "Fill it up again!"
Frank: "It's so good! Once it hit's your lips, It's so good!"
sogood.wav(55K) sogood.mp3(55K) sogood.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Frank: "Once it hit's your lips, it's so good!"
streaking.wav(48K) streaking.mp3(48K) streaking.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Frank: "We're going streaking!"
greenhat.wav(416K) greenhat.mp3(416K) greenhat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Frank: "Sorry, we're goin'... We're Going streaking up through the quad and into the gymnasium! Come on everybody, come on! Snoop, Snoop-a-loop! No, it's cool, it's cool, I'm cool. Bring... Bring your green hat. Let's go, come on everybody we're goin'."
comeon.wav(399K) comeon.mp3(399K) comeon.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Frank: "Whooooo! Come on, we're streaking! Come on... Come on everybody, we're runnin'... Come on! Whooooo! Whooooooo! We're streaking! We're Streaking! Whooooo! Whooooo! Come on!"
frank.wav(464K) frank.mp3(464K) frank.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Frank: "Hey honey hey."
Marissa: "What the hell are you doing?"
Frank: "We're streaking. We're going up through the quad to the gymnasium."
Marissa: "Who's streaking?"
Frank: "There's... There's more coming."
Marissa: "Frank, get in the car."
Frank: "Everybody's doing it."
comein.wav(115K) comein.mp3(115K) comein.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Dean Gordon Prichard (Jeremy Piven): "Hello."
Mitch: "Yeah, come on in, jesus."
panties.wav(1225K) panties.mp3(1225K) panties.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Therapist (Greg Alan Williams): "Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here."
Marissa: "It's okay, honey. That's why we came."
Frank: "Well, uh, I guess I... Deep down I'm feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly you get married and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't... I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday, for example. We were... We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh... I happened to look over during a certain part of the meal and see a waitress taking an order. And uh, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they're probably basic white, cotton underpants. But I started thinking 'Well, maybe they're s... maybe they're silk panties. Maybe, maybe, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's uh something really cool that I don't know about.' You know? And I... I started feeling... What? What, I thought we were in the trust tree, in the nest. Are we not?"
Therapist: "We are. It's okay."
Therapist: "It's okay. Please continue."
Frank: "I don't know where I was going with that. I guess what I'm trying to say is that now that I'm married, I'm deffinitely feeling a little freaked out about the fact that I'm gonna have sex with only one person (He tilts his head at his wife) for the rest of my life."
earmuffs.wav(236K) earmuffs.mp3(236K) earmuffs.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Beanie: "I... Idon't know why you gotta do it in front of the kid, with the "F"in'. All you gotta do is say earmuffs to him. Earmuffs, and you can say bleep bleep bitch whatever you want."
Frank: "Cock! Balls!"
Beanie: "Ok, I'm just proving a point. You don't have to celebrate it Frank."
killyou.wav(148K) killyou.mp3(148K) killyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Archer's Wife (Rachel Winfree): "What's going on?"
Frank: "If you tell anyone about this, I'll bleeping kill you!"
Archer's Wife: "Oooh!"
Frank: "I'm kidding, I'm kidding, we'll have him back by tonight. Ok sweatie."
blue.wav(29K) blue.mp3(29K) blue.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Frank: "Blue, You're my boy!"
Blue (Patrick Cranshaw): "Thank you sir."
nicedoll.wav(57K) nicedoll.mp3(57K) nicedoll.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Frank: "Hey, what do you guys like better: nurse or cheer leader? Oh, hi Nicole."
Nicole: "Hi Frank. That's a nice doll you have there."
Frank: "Yeah, thanks, she's ok."
ilikeyou.wav(435K) ilikeyou.mp3(435K) ilikeyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Frank: "Wait... Wait, pull what out?"
Animal Caretaker (Sean William Scott): "The dart man, you got a bleepin' dart in your neck."
Frank: "You're cra... You're crazy man. You're Crazy. I like you but, you're Crazy."
pansy.wav(105K) pansy.mp3(105K) pansy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Frank: "Blue, you sure you're ok with this?"
Blue: "Just ring the bleepin' bell you pansy."
autopsy.wav(259K) autopsy.mp3(259K) autopsy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Nicole: "I heard, one of you're pledges died. Is that true?"
Mitch: "Well, yes, but he was really old, and I feel pretty confident that, when we get the autopsy back, it'll show that it was probably of natural causes."
chicks.wav(156K) chicks.mp3(156K) chicks.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Waiter (Bryan Pallen): "Eh, chicks, don't worry for her uh. Love, its a motherbleeper uh?"
redlobster.wav(173K) redlobster.mp3(173K) redlobster.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Spanish: "Well, we're expelled, my life is over, and I'm gonna wind up working at Red Lobster."
Archer (Eddie Pepitone): "You already work in Red Lobster."
Spanish: "Yeah, but it's part time dick!"
composure.wav(245K) composure.mp3(245K) composure.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Frank: "That's right, we can't have anyone freak out out there ok! We've gotta keep our composure. We've come too far. There's too much to loose. We gotta just keep our composure"
freshbeer.wav(K) freshbeer.mp3(K) freshbeer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Frank: "How about you get me a fresh beer."
Walsh (Matt Walsh): "You serious?"
Frank: "Now! Now! You call me sir you son of a bitch!"
wasted.wav(44K) wasted.mp3(44K) wasted.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mitch: "Where, Where is everybody?"
Frank: "Blue's right over there but he's wasted."
candothis.wav(456K) candothis.mp3(456K) candothis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Frank: "Ok, ok Mitch, yeah, I can do this. I can do this. This'll be good for me. I appreciate you trusting me. I'll be fine."
Mitch: "Ok good, I'm gonna go upstairs and get dressed."
Mitch: "Meet me up there."
Frank: "I,ll be up there."
Mitch: "Come on."
Frank: "I'm gonna get a cup of coffee and make som waffles, and I'm gonna watch the last two minutes and I'll be up there."