Movie Quotes - Movie Sounds - Movie Wavs



Napoleon Dynamite price at: amazon

All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).

gonnadotoday.wav(54K) gonnadotoday.mp3(54K) gonnadotoday.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kid On Bus: "What are you gonna do today, Napoleon?"
Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder): "Whatever I feel like I wanna do, Gosh!"

lakelochness.wav(333K) lakelochness.mp3(333K) lakelochness.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Last week, Japanese scientists explaced-- placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Curt Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and it's local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally."

wolverines.wav(194K) wolverines.mp3(194K) wolverines.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Don (Trevor Snarr): "Hey, Napoleon, what'd you do all last summer again?"
Napoleon: "I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!"
Don: "Did you shoot any?"
Napoleon: "Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins. what the heck would you do in a situation like that?"
Don: "What kind of gun did you use?"
Napoleon: "A frickin' 12-gauge, what do you think?"

feelverygood.wav(75K) feelverygood.mp3(75K) feelverygood.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Hey can I use your guys's phone for a sec?"
Secretary No. 1 (Thedora Peeterborg): "Is there anything wrong?"
Napoleon: "I don't feel very good."

pickmeup.wav(484K) pickmeup.mp3(484K) pickmeup.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kip (Aaron Ruell): "Hi."
Napoleon: "Is grandma there?"
Kip: "No, she's getting her hair done."
Napoleon: "(He sighs)"
Kip: "What do you need?"
Napoleon: "Can you just go get her for me?"
Kip: "I'm really busy right now."
Napoleon: "Just tell her to come get me."
Kip: "Why?"
Napoleon: "Cause I don't feel good!"
Kip: "Well, have you talked to the school nurse?"
Napoleon: "No, she doesn't know anything. Will you just come get me?"
Kip: "No."
Napoleon: "Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my chapstick?"
Kip: "No, Napoleon."
Napoleon: "But my lips hurt real bad!"
Kip: "Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like five sticks in her drawer."
Napoleon: "I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko!"
Kip: "See ya."
Napoleon: "Ugh! Idiot!"

withabowstaff.wav(83K) withabowstaff.mp3(83K) withabowstaff.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join 'cause I'm pretty good with a bow staff."

iridemybike.wav(194K) iridemybike.mp3(194K) iridemybike.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Do you ride the bus to school?"
Pedro Sanchez (Efren Ramirez): "No, I ride my bike."
Napoleon: "What kind of bike do you have?"
Pedro: "It's a Sledgehammer."
Napoleon: "Dang! You got shocks, pegs. Lucky! You ever take it off any sweet jumps?"

dang.wav(7K) dang.mp3(7K) dang.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Dang!"

lucky.wav(9K) lucky.mp3(9K) lucky.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Lucky!"

sweetjumps.wav(26K) sweetjumps.mp3(26K) sweetjumps.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "You ever take it off any sweet jumps?"

3feetofair.wav(25K) 3feetofair.mp3(25K) 3feetofair.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "You got like three feet of air that time."

caitryit.wav(115K) caitryit.mp3(115K) caitryit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Can I try it really quick? (He crashes and hurts himself)"

worstdayof.wav(38K) worstdayof.mp3(38K) worstdayof.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Grandma (Sandy Martin): "How was school?"
Napoleon: "The worst day of my life, what do you think?"

flipping.wav(317K) flipping.mp3(317K) flipping.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Grandma: "Well, I want you to go see if Tina wants some of this."
Napoleon: "(sighs) Kip hasn't done flipping anything today."
Grandma: "Look, tonight me and your-- Kip, listen!"
Kip: "What?"
Grandma: "Tonight, me and your aunt are gonna go visit some friends and we're not gonna be back till tomorrow. We're gettin' a little low on steak, so I got Lyle comein' over tomorrow to take care of it."
Napoleon: "Well, what's there to eat?"
Grandma: "Knock it off, Napoleon. Make yourself a dang quesadilla!"
Napoleon: "Fine!"

withbabes.wav(430K) withbabes.mp3(430K) withbabes.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip!"
Kip: "Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter."
Napoleon: "Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time."
Kip: "Try and hit me, Napoleon."
Napoleon: "What?"
Kip: "I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me."
Napoleon: "Such an idiot."
Kip: "Let me see what your best move is. (Kip counters his move and hits him in the head then the doorbell rings)"
Napoleon: "I'll go get it. (then he slaps kip in the face)"
Kip: "Geez!"

looklikethis.wav(261K) looklikethis.mp3(261K) looklikethis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Deb (Tina Majorino): "Would you like to look like this?"
Napoleon: "This is a girl."
Deb: "Becouse for a limited time only glamour shots by Deb are 75% off."
Napoleon: "I already get my hair cut at the Cuttin' Corral."
Deb: "Well, maybe you'd be interested in some home-woven handicrafts."

rexcommercial.wav(241K) rexcommercial.mp3(241K) rexcommercial.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Rex (Diedrich Bader): "I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwon Do Self-Defense Sysetem. After one week with me in my dojo, you'lle be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man. Come down today for your free trial lesson!"

eatthefood.wav(151K) eatthefood.mp3(151K) eatthefood.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Tina, you fat lard, come get some dinner. Tina, Eat. Eat the food. Eat the food!"

pullmeinto.wav(21K) pullmeinto.mp3(21K) pullmeinto.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kip: "It'd be nice if you could pull me into town."

rexkwondo.wav(110K) rexkwondo.mp3(110K) rexkwondo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Rex: "My name is Rex, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of self-defense that I developed over two seasons of fighting in the Octagon. It's called Rex Kwon Do!"

bowtoyoursensei.wav(28K) bowtoyoursensei.mp3(28K) bowtoyoursensei.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Rex: "Bow to your sensei. Bow to your sensei!"

grabmyarm.wav(159K) grabmyarm.mp3(159K) grabmyarm.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Rex: "Now, watch this, everybody. Grab my arm. The other arm. My other arm. Okay, now watch this. I'm just gonna break the wrist and walk away. Break the wrist, walk away."
Kip: "Geez!"
Rex: "Okay, it was just that simple."

tokickme.wav(140K) tokickme.mp3(140K) tokickme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Rex: "Now, I want you to kick me. Come on, kick me. (he counters) Okay, do it again. (he counters) Do it again. (he counters and hits him on the head)"
Kip: "Ouch."
Rex: "Okay. You'll block it everytime. Have a seat."

yourback.wav(76K) yourback.mp3(76K) yourback.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Rex: "Rex Kwon Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times!"

yourimage.wav(174K) yourimage.mp3(174K) yourimage.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Rex: "You're going to learn to dicipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan here? Take a look at what I'm wearing people. You think anyone wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it."

hometostarla.wav(112K) hometostarla.mp3(112K) hometostarla.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Rex: "My students will leard about self-respect. Do you think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it."

wasaripoff.wav(127K) wasaripoff.mp3(127K) wasaripoff.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Rex: "Now, for only $300 you can sighn up right now for my eight-week program."
Kip: "Well, that place was a rip-off."

workssmooth.wav(27K) workssmooth.mp3(27K) workssmooth.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Lyle (Dale Critchlow): "Nothin' on here works smooth."

yougotmyback.wav(121K) yougotmyback.mp3(121K) yougotmyback.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "So, me and you are pretty much friends by now, right?"
Pedro: "Yes."
Napoleon: "So, you got my back and everything?"
Pedro: "What?"
Napoleon: "Nevermind."

buildacake.wav(241K) buildacake.mp3(241K) buildacake.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Have you heard about the dance?"
Pedro: "Yes."
Napoleon: "Have you met anyone to ask yet?"
Pedro: "No, but I probably will after school."
Napoleon: "Who you gonna ask?"
Pedro: "That girl over there."
Napoleon: "Summer Wheatly? How the heck are you gonna do that?"
Pedro: "Build her a cake or something."

ilikeherbangs.wav(310K) ilikeherbangs.mp3(310K) ilikeherbangs.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Yeah, my old girlfriend from Oklahoma was gonna fly out here for the dance but she couldn't 'cause she's doing some modeling right now."
Pedro: "Is she hot?"
Napoleon: "See for yourself."
Pedro: "Wow."
Napoleon: "Yeah, I took her to the mall to get some glamour shots for her birthday one year."
Pedro: "I like her bangs."
Napoleon: "Me too."

yourtots.wav(70K) yourtots.mp3(70K) yourtots.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Are you gonna eat your tots?"
Pedro: "No."
Napoleon: "Can I have em?"

thinkyourefat.wav(99K) thinkyourefat.mp3(99K) thinkyourefat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to."

mynunchucks.wav(120K) mynunchucks.mp3(120K) mynunchucks.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it 'cause I can't fit my nunchucks in there anymore."
Deb: "Where's your locker?"

givemesome.wav(160K) givemesome.mp3(160K) givemesome.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Randy (Bracken Johnson): "Napoleon, give me some of your tots."
Napoleon: "No, go find your own."
Randy: "Come on, give me some of your tots."
Napoleon: "No, I'm freakin' starving! I didn't get to eat anything today. (Rndy kicks the tots.) Ugh! Gross! Freakin' idiot!"

getsomeham.wav(18K) getsomeham.mp3(18K) getsomeham.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Tina, come get some ham!"

whattheflip.wav(30K) whattheflip.mp3(30K) whattheflip.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "What the flip was Grandma doing at the sand dunes?"

worstvideo.wav(235K) worstvideo.mp3(235K) worstvideo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico (Jon Gries): "So what do you think?"
Kip: "It's pretty cool, I guess."
Uncle Rico: "Oh, man I wish I could go back in time. I'd take state."
Napoleon: "This is pretty much the worst video ever made."
Kip: "Napoleon, like anyone can even know that."
Uncle Rico: "You know what, Napoleon? You can leave."
Napoleon: "You guys are retarded!"

youandtammy.wav(187K) youandtammy.mp3(187K) youandtammy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kip: "So, you and Tammy still together?"
Uncle Rico: "No, not really."
Kip: "Why is that?"
Uncle Rico: "Well, she's jealous. Says I'm livin' too much in '82. Well, I dumped her."

yourgirlfriend.wav(132K) yourgirlfriend.mp3(132K) yourgirlfriend.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "What about your girlfriend?"
Kip: "Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious."

bodyshotyet.wav(224K) bodyshotyet.mp3(224K) bodyshotyet.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kip: "I'm just really trying to raise a few bucks now so I can bring her out for a few days."
Uncle Rico: "Yeah, well what does she look like?"
Kip: "She's uh... she's got sandy blonde hair. She's uh... pretty good looking face, but I'm just getting really... just kinda TO'd because... I mean she hasn't even sent me a full body shot yet."

moolawith.wav(116K) moolawith.mp3(116K) moolawith.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

uncle Rico: "I got a little project that we might be able to make a little moola with."
Kip: "Really? That sounds pretty good."
Uncle Rico: "Have you ever heard of nylon polymer?"

backin82.wav(62K) backin82.mp3(62K) backin82.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

uncle Rico: "Back in '82 I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile."
Kip: "Are you serious?"
uncle Rico: "I'm dead serious."

watchthis.wav(142K) watchthis.mp3(142K) watchthis.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "Watch this. (He throws Kip's steak at Napoleon's head)"
Napoleon: "Ugh! What the heck are you doing?"
Kip: "That's what I'm talking about."
Pedro: "I better go."

themmountains.wav(52K) themmountains.mp3(52K) themmountains.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?"

fourthquarter.wav(281K) fourthquarter.mp3(281K) fourthquarter.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "Yeah, If coach would've put me in fourth quarter, we'd have been state champions, no doubt. No doubt in my mind. You better believe things would have been different. I'd have gone pro in a heartbeat. I'd be makin' millions of dollars and livin' in a big ol' mansion somewhere. You know, soakin' it up in a hot tub with my soul mate."

timemachine.wav(170K) timemachine.mp3(170K) timemachine.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "Kip, I rockon you know a lot about cyberspace. Y-You ever come across anything like time travel?"
Kip: "Easy. I've already looked into it for myself."

youdrawing.wav(131K) youdrawing.mp3(131K) youdrawing.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Deb: "What are you drawing?"
Napoleon: "A liger."
Deb: "What's a liger?"
Napoleon: "It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed. Bred for it's skills in magic."

anymoney.wav(65K) anymoney.mp3(65K) anymoney.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "Just a little bit east of the cemetary is a good little area right here. We should do it right there. But don't go down here, 'cause they don't have any money."

outthewindow.wav(417K) outthewindow.mp3(417K) outthewindow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kip: "So, how long are we talkin' about workin'?"
Uncle Rico: "What are you alr-- You're already losing your steam?"
Kip: "No, I just-- I have a chat room meeting at 4:00. I gotta be back here by then."
Uncle Rico: "All right, you just start a little earlier, that's all."
Kip: "All right."
Uncle Rico: "Or else work afterwards. How long is the chat room?"
Kip: "Geez, sometimes up to three, four hours maybe. Maybe not. I don't know."
Uncle Rico: "You-- You pay the bills for that? Does that cost money every time you're on there, like for minutes on the phone?"
Kip: "Yeah, Grandma's still paying per minute. She gets kinda pissed at me sometimes 'cause I'm on there so long."
Uncle Rico: "I bet she does. I'll tell you something, I'd be throwin' you out the window."

goldbracelets.wav(178K) goldbracelets.mp3(178K) goldbracelets.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "We also need someway to make us look official, like we got all the answers."
Kip: "How about some gold bracelets?"
Uncle Rico: "We need, like, some name tags with our picture on it, all laminated and what not. I mean, we gotta look legit, man."
Kip: "That's true. That's true."

thatstheone.wav(653K) thatstheone.mp3(653K) thatstheone.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Deb: "Mm-kay, turn you head on more of a slant. Now, make a fist. Slowly ease it up underneath your chin. This is looking really good."
Kip: "You can say that again."
Deb: "Okay, hold still right there. Now, just imagine you're weightless, in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by tiny little seahorses. (Shutter clicks) That was the one. I think that's gonna come out really nice."
Uncle Rico: "Uh, you did it? wow, wow, that felt really relaxed. Thanks Deb. You're up Kip."
Kip: "Is there some kind of vest that I can wear?"

anyskills.wav(430K) anyskills.mp3(430K) anyskills.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Well, nobody's gonna go out with me."
Pedro: "Have you asked anybody yet?"
Napoleon: "No, but who would?I don't even have any good skills."
Pedro: "What do you mean?"
Napoleon: "You know, like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills."
Pedro: "Aren't you pretty good at drawing, like, animals and warriors and stuff?"
Napoleon: "Yes. Probably the best that I know of."
Pedro: "Just draw a picture of the girl you want to take out and give it to her for, like, a gift or something."
Napoleon: "That's a pretty good Idea."

iwantthat.wav(381K) iwantthat.mp3(381K) iwantthat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "Now if you invest in the 24-piece set I'm gonna throw in a little gift."
Lance (Brian Petersen): "So, what's the gift?"
Uncle Rico: "I bet you folks don't have one of these."
Lance's Wife: "I want that."
Uncle Rico: "You see, this ain't your run-of-the-mill crapper-ware. These are some serious Nupont fiber-woven bowls."
Lance: "So, if we purchase the 24-piece set the mini sailboat is included?"
Uncle Rico: "That's correct, sir."

thedealio.wav(47K) thedealio.mp3(47K) thedealio.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "So, uh, how does the dealio sound to you?"

neckmeat.wav(28K) neckmeat.mp3(28K) neckmeat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kip: "Napoleon, let go of me. I think you're bruising my neck meat."

sweetmoola.wav(75K) sweetmoola.mp3(75K) sweetmoola.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "What the heck are you guys doing? Trying to ruin my life, make me look like a friggin' idiot?"
Kip: "I'm out making some sweet moola with Uncle Rico."

mymoleoff.wav(67K) mymoleoff.mp3(67K) mymoleoff.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kip: "Geez, I think you ripped my mole off."
Napoleon: "I did?"
Kip: "Yeah, is it bleeding?"
Napoleon: "A little bit."

lookatmelike.wav(46K) lookatmelike.mp3(46K) lookatmelike.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "I wish you wouldn't look at me like that, Napoleon."
Napoleon: "I wish you'd get out of my life and shut up."

120bucks.wav(223K) 120bucks.mp3(223K) 120bucks.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "I'm gonna tell you somethin' right now. While you're out there playing patty cake with your friend Pedro, your Uncle Rico is makin' 120 bucks."
Napoleon: "I could make that much money in five seconds!"
Kip: "Geez. Yeah right, Napoleon. I made, like, 75 bucks today."
Uncle Rico: "Napoleon, it's looks like you don't have a job. So why don't you get out there and feed Tina."
Napoleon: "Why don't you go eat a decroded piece of crap?"

largetalons.wav(86K) largetalons.mp3(86K) largetalons.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Do the chickens have large talons?"
Farmer (Pat Donahue): "Do they have what?"
Napoleon: "Large talons?"
Farmer: "I don't understand a word you just said."

mycheckbook.wav(36K) mycheckbook.mp3(36K) mycheckbook.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Farmer: "Can't find my checkbook. Hope you don't mind I pay you in change."

sixdollars.wav(49K) sixdollars.mp3(49K) sixdollars.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Six dollars. That's like a dollar an hour."

alreadyare.wav(105K) alreadyare.mp3(105K) alreadyare.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Hello?"
Trisha (Emily Kennard): "Napoleon there?"
Napoleon: "Yes."
Trisha: "Can I talk to him?"
Napoleon: "You already are."
Trisha: "Oh."

thedrawing.wav(167K) thedrawing.mp3(167K) thedrawing.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Trisha: "I'd like to thank you for the beautiful drawing you did of me. It's hanging in my bedroom."
Napoleon: "Really? It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done."
Trisha: "Yeah, it's really nice."

whowasthat.wav(106K) whowasthat.mp3(106K) whowasthat.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Pedro: "Who was that?"
Napoleon: "Trisha."
Pedro: "Who's she?"
Napoleon: "My woman I'm taking to the dance."
Pedro: "Did you draw her a picture?"
Napoleon: "Heck yes I did!"

itsincredible.wav(139K) itsincredible.mp3(139K) itsincredible.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Pedro, how do you feel about that one?"
Pedro: "That looks nice."
Napoleon: "Yeah, it looks pretty sweet. It looks awesome! The suit, it's-- it's incredible."

itsmyride.wav(117K) itsmyride.mp3(117K) itsmyride.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Is Trisha here?"
Trisha's Father: "What's that in my driveway?"
Napoleon: "It's my ride."

killertime.wav(25K) killertime.mp3(25K) killertime.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "You guys having a killer time?"

yoursleeves.wav(82K) yoursleeves.mp3(82K) yoursleeves.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "I like your sleeves. There real big."
Deb: "Thank you. I made them myself."

voteforme.wav(248K) voteforme.mp3(248K) voteforme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Pedro: "Do you think people will vote for me?"
Napoleon: "Heck yes! I'd vote for you."
Pedro: "Like what are my skills?"
Napoleon: "Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache."
Pedro: "That's true."
Napoleon: "If you need to use any of my skills I can do whatever you want."
Pedro: "Thanks."

mysecretary.wav(245K) mysecretary.mp3(245K) mysecretary.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Pedro: "If I win, you can be my secretary or something."
Napoleon: "Sweet! Plus I could be your bodyguard too. Or like, secret service captain or whatever."
Pedro: "Okay."

sweet.wav(13K) sweet.mp3(13K) sweet.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Sweet!"

growsontrees.wav(67K) growsontrees.mp3(67K) growsontrees.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "Napoleon, you know we can't afford the fun pack. What, do you think that money grows on trees in this family? Take it back!"

thedefect.wav(77K) thedefect.mp3(77K) thedefect.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "The defect in that one is bleach."
FFA Judge No. 1 (Tom Adams): "That's correct"
Napoleon: "Yes."

onionpatch.wav(81K) onionpatch.mp3(81K) onionpatch.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "This tastes like the cow got into an onion patch."
FFA Judge No. 1: "Correct"
Napoleon: "Yes."

kindawarm.wav(254K) kindawarm.mp3(254K) kindawarm.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Pedro: "Do you think it's kinda warm in here?"
Napoleon: "No."
Pedro: "I think it's-- they have the heater on or something."
Napoleon: "It seams pretty good to me."
Pedro: "You don't feel like your head is burning or anything?"
Napoleon: "No."
Pedro: "I'm gonna go home and lay down."
Napoleon: "Okay, see ya."

whodoyouthink.wav(73K) whodoyouthink.mp3(73K) whodoyouthink.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Don: "Vote for Summer."
Napoleon: "Yeah, right, I'm not voting for her."
Don: "Then who you gonna vote for?"
Napoleon: "I'm voting for Pedro Sanchez, who do you think?"

guyinflorida.wav(88K) guyinflorida.mp3(88K) guyinflorida.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kip: "So, that guy in Florida give your money back yet?"
Uncle Rico: "Oh, I wrote him an e-mail sayin' I'm gonna contact the authorities if I don't get a refund in full."

reallyhot.wav(339K) reallyhot.mp3(339K) reallyhot.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Why do you got your hood on like that?"
Pedro: "Well, when I came home from school, my head started to get really hot. SO I drank some cold water, but it didn't do nothing. So I laid in the bathtub for a while but then I realized that it was my hair that was making my head so hot. So I went into my kitchen, and I shaved it all off. I don't want anyone to see."
Napoleon: "I know what you mean."

warrior.wav(143K) warrior.mp3(143K) warrior.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Deb: "There's just so many options."
Napoleon: "That one's good. Looks like a medievil warrior."
Deb: "You know, you're right. That's a good one."

voteforpedro.wav(170K) voteforpedro.mp3(170K) voteforpedro.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Pedro: "Vote for Pedro."
Napoleon: "Vote for Pedro."
Pedro: "Vote for Pedro."
Napoleon: "Vote for Pedro."
Pedro: "Vote for me."
Napoleon: "Vote for Pedro. Vote for Pedro."
Pedro: "Vote for me."
Napoleon: "Vote for Pedro."
Pedro: "Vote for Pedro."
Napoleon: "Vote for Pedro."
Pedro: "Vote for Pedro."
Napoleon: "Vote for Pedro."

protection.wav(118K) protection.mp3(118K) protection.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Hows your neck?"
Kid At School: "Stings."
Napoleon: "That's too bad. Pedro offers you his protection."

ricoscream.wav(11K) ricoscream.mp3(11K) ricoscream.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncrle Rico: "(Napoleon throws an orange at Uncle Rico's van while he's driving and Uncle Rico lets out a girlish scream)"

bodaggit.wav(148K) bodaggit.mp3(148K) bodaggit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "Why the heck you throwin' crap at my van, Napoleon?"
Napoleon: "Everybody at school thinks I'm a frickin' idiot 'cause of you."
Uncle Rico: "You're gonna clean my van, right now!"
Napoleon: "Get off of me, you bodaggit!"

dancegroove.wav(72K) dancegroove.mp3(72K) dancegroove.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Video Tape Guy: "Welcome to D-Quon's Dance Groove. Are you ready to get your groove on?"
Napoleon: "Yes."
Video Tape Guy: "Alright then, let's get started."

peaceout.wav(158K) peaceout.mp3(158K) peaceout.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kip: "LaFawnduh is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm 100% positive that she is my soul mate. Napoleon, I'm sure there's a babe out there for you too. Peace out."

billowy.wav(243K) billowy.mp3(243K) billowy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Deb: "Is this what you were looking for?"
Uncle Rico: "Nah, I was thinkin' of somethin' a little more soft around the edges."
Deb: "Hmm. Well, I have a nice, soft pink sheet I could hang and I could wrap you in some foam or something billowy?"
Uncle Rico: "Yeah, billowy's good."

softbody.wav(110K) softbody.mp3(110K) softbody.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "You know, Deborah, you have striking features. Such a soft face should be complimented with a soft body."

unclerico.wav(42K) unclerico.mp3(42K) unclerico.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "My friends and clients, they call me Uncle Rico."

stopwishin.wav(32K) stopwishin.mp3(32K) stopwishin.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "You stop wishin' and call me when you're ready."

myproperty.wav(148K) myproperty.mp3(148K) myproperty.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Uncle Rico: "I'm not going anywhere, Napoleon."
Napoleon: "Get off my property."
Uncle Rico: "It's a free country. I can do whatever I want."
Napoleon: "Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you."
Uncle Rico: "Then do it. Go on."
Napoleon: "Maybe I will, Gosh!"

shelikesfish.wav(151K) shelikesfish.mp3(151K) shelikesfish.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "How's it going?"
Pedro: "Good."
Napoleon: "Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now."
Pedro: "Why?"
Napoleon: "'Cause my Uncle Rico is an idiot!"
Pedro: "Do you have anything to give to her?"
Napoleon: "No. Not unless she likes fish."

yourskit.wav(142K) yourskit.mp3(142K) yourskit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Teacher (Mary Heers): "Your speach is up next. Your skit had better be pretty good."
Pedro: "A skit?"
Teacher: "You perform a skit after your speach, Pedro."
Napoleon: "What? A flippin' skit? Why didn't anyone tell us about this?"

flippinskit.wav(55K) flippinskit.mp3(55K) flippinskit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "What? A flippin' skit? Why didn't anyone tell us about this?"

wildestdreams.wav(50K) wildestdreams.mp3(50K) wildestdreams.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Pedro: "If you vote for me all of your wildest dreams will come true."

dancemusic.wav(1364K) dancemusic.mp3(1364K) dancemusic.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Soundtrack: "(A clip of the music that played when Napoleon danced in the auditorium)"

deliciousbass.wav(20K) deliciousbass.mp3(20K) deliciousbass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "I caught you a delicous bass."

youknowido.wav(145K) youknowido.mp3(145K) youknowido.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Lyle: "Kipland Ronald Dynamite, do you take LaFawnduh Lucas to be your lawful wedded wife in sickness and health, till death do you part?"
Kip: "You know I do."

alwaysandforever.wav(652K) alwaysandforever.mp3(652K) alwaysandforever.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kip: "(singing) Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever... We met in a chatroom, now our love can fully bloom. Sure the world wide web is great, but you, you make my salvivate. Yes, I love technology, but not as much as you, you see. But I still love technology. Always and forever... Our love is like a flock of doves, flying up to heaven above. Always and forever... Always and forever... Yes, our love is truely great. Always and forever..."

stallionforyou.wav(63K) stallionforyou.mp3(63K) stallionforyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Hey, sorry I'm late. I just got done taming a wild honeymoon stallion for you guys."

onthehorse.wav(103K) onthehorse.mp3(103K) onthehorse.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "Hey, Deb, could you take a photo of me on the horse real quick?"
Deb: "Sure."
Napoleon: "Thanks."

unforgettable.wav(34K) unforgettable.mp3(34K) unforgettable.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Napoleon: "I hope your guys' experiences are unforgettable."

keepsake.wav(64K) keepsake.mp3(64K) keepsake.m4r(iPhone ringtone)

Kip: "Hmm. Lookie, lookie, a little keepsake fo you guys."

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