All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 22Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).
shutyourgob.wav(61K) shutyourgob.mp3(28K) shutyourgob.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno MacGuff (Ellen Page): "Geez, Banana, shut your friggin' gob, okay?!"
everseen.wav(108K) everseen.mp3(50K) everseen.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "This is the most magnificent discarded living room set I've ever seen."
alliwantisyou.wav(3120K) alliwantisyou.mp3(1416K) alliwantisyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Soundtrack: "(A clip of "All I Want Is You" from the opening credits Written and Performed by Barry Louis Polisar)"
anothertest.wav(907K) anothertest.mp3(412K) anothertest.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rollo: "Well, well, if it isn't MacGuff the crime dog. Back for another test?"
Juno: "I think the first one was defective. The plus sign looks more like a division symbol, so I remain unconvinced."
Rollo: "Third test today, mama bear. Your Eggo is preggo, no daubt about it."
Tough Girl (Eve Harlow): "It's really easy to tell. Is your nipples real brown?"
Rollo: "Yeah, maybe your little boyfrind's got mutant sperms: knocked you up twice."
Juno: "Silencio, old man! Look, I just drank my meight in SunnyD and I gotta go pronto."
Rollo: "Well, you know where the lavatory is. You pay for that pee stick when you're done. Don't think it's yours just 'cause you marked it with your urine."
peestick.wav(123K) peestick.mp3(56K) peestick.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rollo (Rainn Wilson): "You pay for that pee stick when you're done. Don't think it's yours just 'cause you marked it with your urine."
fertilemyrtle.wav(131K) fertilemyrtle.mp3(60K) fertilemyrtle.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rollo: "What's the prognosis, Fertile Myrtle, minus or plus?"
Juno: "I don't know. It's not seasoned yet."
homeskillet.wav(118K) homeskillet.mp3(54K) homeskillet.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Rollo: "(She shakes the test) That ain't no Etch A Sketch. This is one doodle that can't be undid, home skilliet."
tireswing.wav(1794K) tireswing.mp3(815K) tireswing.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Soundtrack: "(A clip of "Tire Swing" Written and Performed by Kimya Dawson)"
morganfreeman.wav(234K) morganfreeman.mp3(107K) morganfreeman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Leah (Olivia Thirby): "Yo, yo, yigiddy, yo."
Juno: "I'm a suicide risk."
Juno: "No, it's Morgan Freman. Do you have any bones that need collecting?"
Leah: "Hu-huh, only the one in my pants. Huh-huh."
awellrespectedman.wav(849K) awellrespectedman.mp3(386K) awellrespectedman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Soundtrack: "(A short clip of "A Well Respected Man" Written by Ray Davies Performed by The Kinks)"
gocarol.wav(192K) gocarol.mp3(88K) gocarol.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "Wow, your shorts are, like, especially gold today."
Paulie Bleeker (Michael Cera): "Oh, my mom uses color-safe bleach."
Juno: "Go Carol."
Bleeker: "I'll tell her."
porkswords.wav(185K) porkswords.mp3(85K) porkswords.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "When I see them all running like that with their things bouncing around in their shorts, I always picture them naked even if I don't want to. All I see is pork swords."
infant.wav(760K) infant.mp3(345K) infant.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "So guess what?"
Bleeker: "What? I don't know."
Juno: "I'm pregnant."
Bleeker: "What should we do... about...?"
Juno: "Well, you know, I was just... I was thinking I'd just nip it in the bud before it gets worse. 'Cause they were talking about, in health class, how pregnancy, it can often lead to an infant."
Bleeker: "Typically, yeah, yeah. That's-- That's what happens when our moms and teachers get pregnant."
youridea.wav(221K) youridea.mp3(101K) youridea.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "Well, I'm sorry I had sex with you. I know it wasn't like, your idea."
Bleeker: "What-- Whose idea was it?"
Juno: "I'll see you at school, alright?"
charisma.wav(382K) charisma.mp3(174K) charisma.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "Well, there's nothing like experimenting."
Bleeker: "Um, I did the prep questions for this lab last night. So you can just copy my answers if you..."
Juno: "Oh, I couldn't copy your work."
Bleeker: "You copy my work every week."
Juno: "True, I,m kind of a deadbeat lab partner, aren't I?"
Bleeker: "No, I don't mind. I think you definitely bring something to the table."
experimenting.wav(53K) experimenting.mp3(25K) experimenting.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "Well, there's nothing like experimenting."
monkeybutt.wav(89K) monkeybutt.mp3(41K) monkeybutt.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mac MacGuff (J.K. Simmons): "Liberty Bell, if you put one more Bac-O on that potato, I'm gonna kick your little monkey butt."
thatwasyou.wav(1000K) thatwasyou.mp3(454K) thatwasyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "Hey, Su-Chin."
Su-Chin Qah (Valerie Tian): "Oh, Hi, Juno. How are you?"
Juno: "You know, pretty solid. Um-- So, did you write that paper for Worth's class yet?"
Su-Chin: "No, not yet. I tried to work on it a little last night, but I'm having trouble concentrating."
Juno: "Oh, well, I'll sell you some of my Adderall, if you..."
Su-Chin: "No, thanks, I'm off pills."
Juno: "That's a wise choice. 'Cause I knew this girl, she had this like crazy freak-out 'cause she took too many behavioral meds at once. And-- And she just, like, ripped off her clothes and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale mall, and was like, 'Bligh, I'm a kraken from the sea!'."
Su-Chin: "I heard that was you."
Juno: "Well, it's good seeing you, Su-Chin."
trustedfriends.wav(141K) trustedfriends.mp3(65K) trustedfriends.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Punk Receptionist (Emily Perkins): "Welcome to Women Now, where women are trusted friends. Please put your hand where I can see them and surrender any bombs."
likepie.wav(271K) likepie.mp3(124K) likepie.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Punk Receptionist: "Would you like a free condom? They're boysenberry."
Juno: "No, I'm off sex right now."
Punk Receptionist: "My boyfriend uses them every time we have intercourse. They make his junk smell like pie."
miracle.wav(178K) miracle.mp3(81K) miracle.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Su-Chin: "All babies want to get borned. All babies want to-- (Juno runs past her out of the clinic) God appreciates your miracle!"
fingernails.wav(674K) fingernails.mp3(306K) fingernails.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Leah: "Dude, what are you doing here? I'm supposed to come get you at 4:00."
Juno: "Couldn't do it, Leah. It smelled like a dentist's office in there. And there were these horrible magazines with water stains. And then the friggin' receptionist is trying to get me to take these condoms that look like grape suckers. And just babbling away about her friggin' boyfriend's pie balls."
Leah: "Ooh, yum."
Juno: "Oh, and then Su-Chin was there. Yeah. And she was like, 'Oh, hi. Babies have fingernails.' Fingernails."
Leah: "That's gruesome. Do you think the baby could, all like, scratch your vag on the way out? And then it would..."
milktate.wav(547K) milktate.mp3(249K) milktate.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "I'm staying pregnant, Leah."
Leah: "Dude! You got to keep your voice down, okay? My mom is inside. She doesn't know that we're sexually active."
Juno: "What does that even mean? I've been thinking. I was thinking I could, like, have this baby and give it to someone that, like, totally needs it. You know, like, a woman with a bum ovary or a couple nice lesbos."
Leah: "But then you're gonna get, like, huge. And your chest is gonna milktate. And you're gonna have to like tell people that you're pregnant."
missing.wav(194K) missing.mp3(89K) missing.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Leah: "Mm. 'Wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple have found true love with each other.' Aw. All thats' missing is your bastard."
whoisthekid.wav(608K) whoisthekid.mp3(277K) whoisthekid.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Brenda 'Bren' MacGuff (Allison Janney): "I didn't even know you were sexually active."
Mac MacGuff: "Who is the kid?"
Juno: "The baby? I don't really know much about it other than... I mean, it has fingernails, allegedly."
Brenda MacGuff: "Nails, really?"
Mac MacGuff: "No, I don't-- I mean, who is the father, Juno?"
Juno: "Um, it's... it's Paulie Bleeker."
Mac MacGuff: "Paulie Bleeker?"
Mac MacGuff: "I didn't think he had it in him."
Leah: "I know, right?"
seethatcoming.wav(380K) seethatcoming.mp3(173K) seethatcoming.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mac MacGuff: "Did you see that coming when she sat us down here?"
Brenda MacGuff: "Yeah, but I was hoping she was expelled or into hard drugs."
Mac MacGuff: "That was my first instinct, too, or a DWI. Anything but this. And I'm gonna punch that Bleeker kid in the wiener next time I see him."
Brenda MacGuff: "Mac, come on. You know it wasn't his idea."
seabiscuit.wav(157K) seabiscuit.mp3(72K) seabiscuit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "Sweet, yeah, uh, could I use the facilities first, 'cause being pregnant makes me pee like Seabiscuit."
giftoflife.wav(235K) giftoflife.mp3(107K) giftoflife.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "You should feel happy, homes. I'm giving you and Vanessa the gift of life: sweet, screaming, pooping life. And you don't even have to be there when it comes out all covered in, um..."
Mark Loring: "Vicera."
Juno: "...blood and guts."
longleash.wav(362K) longleash.mp3(165K) longleash.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "Uh... Whoa! Is that a Les Paul?"
Mark Loring: "Yes it is. Vanessa gave me my own room for all my stuff."
Juno: "She gave you your own room in-- in-- in-- in you're own hous. for your-- for your your stuff. Wow, she's got you on a long leash there, Mark."
besttimeforrock.wav(340K) besttimeforrock.mp3(155K) besttimeforrock.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "So... so when was that? Was that like...?"
Mark Loring: "'93, best time for rock 'n' roll."
Juno: "Nuh-uh! '77! Are you...?"
Mark Loring: "What?"
Juno: "Punk, volume number one!"
Mark Loring: "You're crazy."
Juno: "Dude, you weren't there. You couldn't understant the magic."
Mark Loring: "M-- You weren't even alive!"
howsure.wav(252K) howsure.mp3(115K) howsure.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Vanessa Loring (Jennifer Garner): "How sure would you say you are? Like, would you say you're 80 percent sure, or 90 percent sure or...?"
Juno: "I'm gonna say I'm about 104 percent sure."
yousadick.wav(677K) yousadick.mp3(308K) yousadick.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Brenda MacGuff: "What is your job title exactly?"
Ultrasound Technician (Kaaren de Zilva): "I'm an ultrasound technician, ma'am."
Brenda MacGuff: "Well, I'm a nail technician, and I think we both should stick to what we know."
Ultrasound Technician: "Excuse me?"
Brenda MacGuff: "Oh, you think you're so special 'cause you get to play picture pages up there? My five year old daughter could do that and let me tell you, she's not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed. So why don't you go back to night school in Manteno and learn a real trade?"
Juno: "Bren, you's a dick! I love it!"
dearest.wav(1372K) dearest.mp3(623K) dearest.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Soundtrack: "(A short clip of "Dearest" Written by Bob Gibson, Bo Diddley (as Ellas McDaniel), Prentice Herman Polk, Jr. Performed by Buddy Holly)"
withoutjunk.wav(538K) withoutjunk.mp3(245K) withoutjunk.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mark Loring: "Wow, can you tell if it's a boy or a girl?"
Juno: "Um, I can't, the doctor can. But, I kind of want it to be a surprise."
Mark Loring: "Well, it can only go one of two ways."
Juno: "That's what you think. I mean, I drink tons of booze, so you might end up with one of those scary neuter babies that's born without junk."
Mark Loring: "Junk, huh?"
Juno: "Yeah, you know, its parts."
Mark Loring: "I know what junk is."
Juno: "Yeah, right."
Mark Loring: "We definitely want it to have some junk. Please."
giveaway.wav(235K) giveaway.mp3(107K) giveaway.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "You should have gone to China. You know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those T-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events."
shenanigans.wav(213K) shenanigans.mp3(97K) shenanigans.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Vanessa Loring: "Your parents are probably wondering where you are."
Juno: "Nah. I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into? I should-- I should probably bounce."
likesoup.wav(213K) likesoup.mp3(97K) likesoup.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bleeker: "What about Katrina De Voort? You could totally go out with Kitrina De Voort."
Juno: "I don't like Katrina. She smells like soup. I mean, have you ever smelled her? And her whole house smells like suop."
desertcolored.wav(829K) desertcolored.mp3(377K) desertcolored.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Vanessa Loring: "So we have custard and cheesecake."
Mark Loring: "They're yellow."
Vanessa Loring: "Right. I wanted to pick something that was gender-neutral until we get the baby and then we can just add a more decisive palette."
Mark Loring: "Why does everybody think that yellow is gender-neutral? I don't know any guy with a yellow bedroom."
Vanessa Loring: "It's for babies. I'm thinking more custard, just with this light. I don't know, maybe I should paint a larger swatch or just try it on a different wall."
Mark Loring: "Or you can wait a few more months. Not like the baby's going to come storming in here demanding desert-colored walls."
sticksandspit.wav(338K) sticksandspit.mp3(154K) sticksandspit.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Vanessa Loring: "What to Expect say that readying the baby's room is an important process for the woman, especially if you're adopting. It's called 'nesting.'"
Mark Loring: "Nesting?"
Vanessa Loring: "Yeah."
Mark Loring: "Well, are you gonna build a crib out of sticks and spit?"
girlfriends.wav(144K) girlfriends.mp3(66K) girlfriends.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "What, what brings you to the mall today?"
Vanessa Loring: "I was just shopping with my girlfriends, and..."
Leah: "Huh-huh, you're gay?"
piazzanewyorkcatcher.wav(767K) piazzanewyorkcatcher.mp3(348K) piazzanewyorkcatcher.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Soundtrack: "(A short clip of "Piazza, New York Catcher" Written by Sarah Martin, Stuart Murdoch, Richard Colburn, Mick Cooke (as Michael Cooke), Christopher Geddes, Stevie Jackson (as Stephen Jackson), Bob Kildea Performed by Belle & Sebastian)"
stuffontv.wav(576K) stuffontv.mp3(262K) stuffontv.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bleeker: "I should be royally ticked off at you, you know. I should be really cheesed off. I shouldn't want to talk to you anymore."
Juno: "Wh-- What, 'cause I got board and had sex with you and I didn't want to, like, marry you?"
Bleeker: "Like I'd marry you? You'd be the meanest wife ever, okay? And I know that you weren't bored that day, because there was a lot of stuff on TV, and-- and the Blair Witch Project was coming on Starz. And you were like, 'I haven't seen this since it came out.' And if so, we should watch it. And then but, 'Oh, no, we should make out instead,' la, la, la."
puffyversion.wav(64K) puffyversion.mp3(30K) puffyversion.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "Hey, Dad."
Mac MacGuff: "Hey, big puffy version of June Bug."
messedup.wav(310K) messedup.mp3(141K) messedup.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mac MacGuff: "Are you having boy trouble, 'cause I got to be honest, I don't really much approve of you dating in your condition. That's kind of messed up."
Juno: "No, Dad, it,s not..."
Mac MacGuff: "I mean, that's pretty skanky. Isn't that what you girls call it, skanky? Skivvy?"
Juno: "Please stop."
Mac MacGuff: "Tore up prom the floor up?"
outyourass.wav(474K) outyourass.mp3(216K) outyourass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mac MacGuff: "Look... in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are: good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person still gonna think the sun shines out you ass."
treehugger.wav(1219K) treehugger.mp3(553K) treehugger.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Soundtrack: "(A short clip of "Tree Hugger" Written by Kimya Dawson Performed by Kimya Dawson and Antsy Pants)"
soniceandsmart.wav(685K) soniceandsmart.mp3(311K) soniceandsmart.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Soundtrack: "(A short clip of "So Nice So Smart" Written and Performed by Kimya Dawson)"
spinaltap.wav(112K) spinaltap.mp3(52K) spinaltap.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "Ow, ow, bleepity, ow! God, Bren, when do I get the friggin', spinal tap thing?!"
owow.wav(54K) owow.mp3(25K) owow.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "Ow, ow, bleepity, ow!"
sadists.wav(379K) sadists.mp3(173K) sadists.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "God, Bren, when do I get the friggin', spinal tap thing?!"
Brenda MacGuff: "It's called a spinal block, and you can't have it yet, honey. The doctor said you're not dialated enough."
Juno: "Oh, come on! I mean, it's like... I have to wait for it to get worse? Why can't I just have the friggin' thing now?"
Brenda MacGuff: "Honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream."
anyoneelsebutyou.wav(429K) anyoneelsebutyou.mp3(195K) anyoneelsebutyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Soundtrack: "(A short clip of "Anyone Else But You" Written by Adam Green, Kimya Dawson Performed by The Moldy Peaches)"
anewmom.wav(198K) anewmom.mp3(90K) anewmom.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Vanessa Loring: "Is this-- Am I-- How do I look?"
Brenda MacGuff: "Like a new mom, scared shitless."
totallyboss.wav(329K) totallyboss.mp3(150K) totallyboss.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Juno: "As boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni. And I know people are supposed to fall in love before they reproduce, but I guess normalcy isn't really our style."
anyoneelsebutyou2.wav(2410K) anyoneelsebutyou2.mp3(1094K) anyoneelsebutyou2.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Bleeker and Juno: "(A clip of "Anyone Else But You" Written by Adam Green, Kimya Dawson Performed by Michael Cera and Ellen Page)"
looselips.wav(2137K) looselips.mp3(970K) looselips.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Soundtrack: "(A clip, from the end credits, of "Loose Lips" Written and Performed by Kimya Dawson)"
vampire.wav(1678K) vampire.mp3(762K) vampire.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Soundtrack: "(A clip, from the end credits, of "Vampire" Performed by Antsy Pants")"