All wavs on this page were sampled at (8 bit mono 11Khz) and all mp3s on this page were sampled at (80kbs 44Khz).
talkinaboutman.wav(60K) talkinaboutman.mp3(60K) talkinaboutman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ron Slater (Rory Cochrane): "That's what I'm talkin' about, man. Oh, man, I'm bleepin' wasted."
airfromthere.wav(104K) airfromthere.mp3(104K) airfromthere.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Slater: "You're gettin' air from there, man. It's no good. You see this? It's gotta be tight. You're gonna have to put some gum around the base to get a good hit."
drumsolo.wav(92K) drumsolo.mp3(92K) drumsolo.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Slater: "Man, I ain't believin' that bleep about Bonham's one-hour drum solo, man. I mean, one hour on drums? You couldn't handle that bleep on strong acid, man."
neo-mccarthyism.wav(174K) neo-mccarthyism.mp3(174K) neo-mccarthyism.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Cynthia Dunn (Marissa Ribisi): "What are they gonna do next, like, give you guys urine tests or something?"
Mike Newhouse (Adam Goldberg): "See, I-I just didn't know drugs and alcohol were such a big problem that they had to resort to neo-McCarthyism."
Randall 'Pink' Floyd (Jason London): "No, I think they're just afraid some of us might be having too good a time."
Mike: "It's the old age-suppressing-youth thing, you know?"
Tony Olson (Anthony Rapp): "Neo-McCarthism. I like that."
Mike: "That's good, Tony."
gilligansisland.wav(451K) gilligansisland.mp3(451K) gilligansisland.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kaye Faulkner (Christine Harnos): "And there you guys were in class trying to list all the Gilligan's Island episodes without even a hint of irony."
Shavonne Wright (Deena Martin): "What the hell are you talking about, girl?"
Kaye: "You weren't thinking about it, were you?"
Shavonne: "Gilligan's Island?"
Kaye: "It's what's called a male pornographic fantasy."
Shavonne: "Oh, my--"
Kaye: "Think about it. You're basically alone on a deserted island with two readily available women: one a seductive sex goddess type, the other a healthy girl-next-door type with a nice butt. So, guys have it all, the Madonna and the whore. Women get nothing. We get a geek, an overweight middle-aged guy, some nerdy scientific type. I mean--"
Jodi Kramer (Michelle Burke): "The professor in sexy."
hesadeadman.wav(62K) hesadeadman.mp3(62K) hesadeadman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Don Dawson: "Oh, there's just a little bullbleep in all that, right?"
Benny O'Donnell (Cole Hauser): "Major bullbleep. He's a dead man. He's bleepin' dead!"
attitude.wav(48K) attitude.mp3(48K) attitude.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Coach Conrad (Terry Mross): "You're in need of a serious attitide adjustment, young man. You better get your priorities straight."
pieceofpaper.wav(79K) pieceofpaper.mp3(79K) pieceofpaper.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Coach Conrad: "Hey! I want that piece of paper on my desk before you leave here today! Do you hear me?"
dumbBLEEP.wav(52K) dumbBLEEP.mp3(52K) dumbBLEEP.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Don: "Oh! did you hear, O'Bannion flunked?"
Randall: "Yeah, what a dumb bleep."
bustsomeass.wav(28K) bustsomeass.mp3(28K) bustsomeass.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Fred O'Bannion (Ben Affleck): "You all ready to bust some ass?"
paytheirtaxes.wav(164K) paytheirtaxes.mp3(164K) paytheirtaxes.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Ms. Ginny Stroud, high school teacher (Kim Krizan): "Okay guys, one more thing. Hey, this summer when you're being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth Of July brouhaha, don't forget what you're celebrating, and that's the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic, white males didn't want to pay their taxes."
rufiansabout.wav(114K) rufiansabout.mp3(114K) rufiansabout.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mrs. Burnett, Carl's Mom (Katherine Asher): "And you. (Cocks shotgun) Get the hell off my property."
O'Bannion: "Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. I was just, uh, escorting your fine young son home from school. There's some fuffians about and I--"
youredead.wav(90K) youredead.mp3(90K) youredead.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
O'Bannion: "Oh, that's it! I bleepin' saw that, you little sack of bleep! You two are bleepin' dead! You hear me? You're bleepin' dead!"
airraid.wav(69K) airraid.mp3(69K) airraid.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Darla Marks (Parker Posey): "Alright, you little freshman bitches, air raid!"
consessions.wav(125K) consessions.mp3(125K) consessions.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mike: "Now, see, what's facinating is the way, not only the school, but the entire community, seems to be supporting this or, at least, turn their heads. I mean, they apparently have permission to use the parking lot. No parent's seem to mind, you know. They're selling concessions. You, know. I mean--"
Tony: "I know."
beingabitch.wav(42K) beingabitch.mp3(42K) beingabitch.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Jodi: "What are we having, social hour over here? I'm supposed to be being a bitch."
prettycute.wav(37K) prettycute.mp3(37K) prettycute.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mike: "I bet she's pretty cute once you clean all the bleep off her."
Tony: "yeah, I bet she is."
faceoffyourhead.wav(41K) faceoffyourhead.mp3(41K) faceoffyourhead.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Darla: "What are you looking at? Wipe that face off your head, bitch."
spotmeten.wav(119K) spotmeten.mp3(119K) spotmeten.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kevin Pickford (Shawn Andrews): "Fifteen bucks."
Slater: "Could you spot me ten? I'll pay you like tuesday and bleep."
kegofbeer.wav(143K) kegofbeer.mp3(143K) kegofbeer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kevin: "That guy said I ordered a keg of beer?"
Frank Pickford (Richard Dillard): "Yeah. He said it was to be delivered to the Pickford residence."
Kevin: "This address?"
Frank Pickford: "This addresss."
Kevin: "Humph. That's kinda funny. Why don't I go out there and se what's goin' on."
Frank Pickford: "Yeah, I think you better."
littleearly.wav(309K) littleearly.mp3(309K) littleearly.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kevin: "Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, man, aren't you a little bit early?"
Beer Deliver Guy (John Swasey): "Uh, yeah, about an hour and a half, man. But, you see, I wanted to get here by early, see if anyone was here. Man, I got this little action happenin' tonight, man, if you know what I mean."
Kevin: "(Gesturing at his parents) So, I guess you got the wrong house."
Beer Deliver Guy: "Uh, yeah. Inconvenience for you. I'm sorry. Wrong Mr. Pickford altogether."
Kevin: "Hey, these things happen. Don't worry about it, Ben."
Beer Deliver Guy: "Yeah."
startunpacking.wav(105K) startunpacking.mp3(105K) startunpacking.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Frank Pickford: "Were you going to have a party here tonight, son?"
Kevin: "I don't know what that was all about."
Frank Pickford: "Start unpacking. We're not going anywhere."
dontlikepeople.wav(372K) dontlikepeople.mp3(372K) dontlikepeople.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mike: "You know, for the last year or so, I've been talkin' about going to law school so I can be an A.C.L.U. lawyer and be in a position to help people who are getting bleeped over and all that? Well, I was standing in line at the post office yesterday, you know, and I'm lookin' around. And everybody's looking really pathetic. You know, what I mean? I mean, people are-- got like drool, just sorta-- And like this guys's bending over, you could see the crack-- It was just like wife beaters-- Anyway, it was-- And I realized I just didn't want to do it. You know what I mean? It sounds good and all, but I have to confront the fact that I really don't like the people I've been talking about helping out. You know what I'm sayi-- I don't think I like people, period. I mean, you guys are okay. I'm just trying to be honest about being a misanthrope."
alotcooler.wav(133K) alotcooler.mp3(133K) alotcooler.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
David Wooderson (Matthew McConaughey): "Say, man, you got a joint?"
Mitch (Wiley Wiggins): "Uh, no, not on me, man."
Wooderson: "It'd be a lot cooler if you did."
youcoolman.wav(103K) youcoolman.mp3(103K) youcoolman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Slater: "You cool, man?"
Mitch: "Like how?"
checkyoulater.wav(141K) checkyoulater.mp3(141K) checkyoulater.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Shavonne: "Guess we'll see you around."
Slater: "Alright, check you later."
Don: "Slate, man, why are you always such a dork, man?"
Slater: "What are you talkin' about?"
Don: "Check you later. Check you later."
Slater: "Hey, man, get off my case, man."
allprudes.wav(98K) allprudes.mp3(98K) allprudes.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Slater: "The girls, man, in our classes, they're all prudes, man. They're worthless little bitches, man."
Don: "Oh my god."
Slater: "It's the girls ahead of us were wild. Our class is worthless."
gettocollege.wav(110K) gettocollege.mp3(110K) gettocollege.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Slater: "It's quality, not quantitity, and when I wait till I get to college, man. I can't wait to get to college."
Don: "Yeah, when I get to college, all I'm gonna do is bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang."
inthebigtime.wav(78K) inthebigtime.mp3(78K) inthebigtime.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Tommy Houston (Mark Vandermeulen): "We're in the big time now. We're freshmen, where all the girls'll be puttin' out. Your days of lyin' around and pullin' tongue all night are over."
packinhere.wav(279K) packinhere.mp3(279K) packinhere.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Wooderson: "Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, alright. We got 411 Positrac out back, 750 double pumper Edelbrock intakes, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some bleepin' muscle."
isthatlegal.wav(64K) isthatlegal.mp3(64K) isthatlegal.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
John Hirschfelder (Jeremy Fox): "I mean, that's bullbleep, right? Idiot flunks his senior year so he can be a dick two years in a row. Is that legal?"
thesameage.wav(93K) thesameage.mp3(93K) thesameage.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Wooderson: "That's what I love about these highchool girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."
bowlingball.wav(89K) bowlingball.mp3(89K) bowlingball.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Don: "Bowling ball."
Don: "Throw the bowling ball."
Randall: "Do that."
Mitch: "Think I should?"
Randall: "Throw it."
Don: "Throw it."
Randall: "Throw it."
Don: "Throw it."
shoottheBLEEP.wav(37K) shoottheBLEEP.mp3(37K) shoottheBLEEP.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Guy with Pistol (Fred Lerner): "Alright, now, don't try anything or I'll shoot the bleep out of ya!"
somanyballs.wav(55K) somanyballs.mp3(55K) somanyballs.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
O'Bannion: "Shit, you got so many balls on the table, I'm gonna have to start knockin' your balls in to get 'em out of my way."
shotgunonme.wav(63K) shotgunonme.mp3(63K) shotgunonme.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
O'Bannion: "Y'all hear this little motherbleeper's mom pulled a shotgun on me this afternoon? bleepin' bitch."
BLEEPallofyou.wav(46K) BLEEPallofyou.mp3(46K) BLEEPallofyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
O'Bannion: "bleep you. bleep all of you! bleep you!"
outtabeer.wav(79K) outtabeer.mp3(79K) outtabeer.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Clint Bruno (Nicky Katt): "I only came here to do twe things, man. Kick some ass and drink some beer. Looks like we're almost outta beer."
humiliation.wav(155K) humiliation.mp3(155K) humiliation.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Mike: "I-I-I-- At first, I was relieved to get out of the situation, you know, but now there's this level of humiliation setting in that, I can tell, is gonna be with me for bleeping ever! And I'm just not gonna let this be yet another situation which contributes to me being a little ineffectual nothing the rest of my life, you know?"
outofplace.wav(91K) outofplace.mp3(91K) outofplace.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Cynthia: "Why'd we even come here? I always feel a little out of place at these things, you know?"
Mike: "You're telling me. You know? I'm being stalked by a Nazi."
intoaliens.wav(201K) intoaliens.mp3(201K) intoaliens.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Slater: "Yeah, man, that song's about that."
Kid At Party: "It's-it's about-- about aliens?"
Slater: "Yeah, man. You didn't know that? This country is founded-- It was founded by people who were into aliens, man. George Washington, man, he was in a cult, and the cult was into aliens, man. You didn't know that?"
Kid At Party "No."
Slater: "Oh man. They were way into that type of stuff, man."
everyotherdecade.wav(190K) everyotherdecade.mp3(190K) everyotherdecade.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Cynthia: "It's like the every-other-decade theory, you know? The '50s were boring, the '60s rocked, and the '70s-- Oh, my god, they obviously suck. Come on. Maybe the '80s will be radical. You know? I figure we'll be in our 20s and, hey, it can't get any worse."
georgetokedweed.wav(453K) georgetokedweed.mp3(452K) georgetokedweed.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Kid At Party: "George toked weed, man."
Slater: "Absolutely, George toked weed. Are you kiddin' me, man? He grew fields of that stuff, man. That's what I'm talkin' about. Fields!"
Kid At Party: "He grew that bleep up Mount Vernon, man."
Slater: "Mount Vernon, man, he grew it all over the country, man. He had people growin' it all over the country, you know? The whole country back then was gettin' high. Let me tell you, man. 'Cause-'cause-- 'Cause, he knew he was on to somethin', man. HE knew that it would be a good cash crop for the southern states, man. So he grew fields of it, man. But you know what? Behind every good man, there's a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man. And every day, George would come home, she'd have a big, fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he'd come in the door, man. She was a hip, a hip, hip lady, man."
marthawashington.wav(116K) marthawashington.mp3(116K) marthawashington.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Slater: "And, she, she was real cool too. She'd harvest the crops, man. That's what I'm talkin' about. She'd put it in, uh, in the bushels and stuff and sell it, you know? Because they had to, you know, make ends meet and stuff."
dollarbillman.wav(72K) dollarbillman.mp3(72K) dollarbillman.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Slater: "Did you ever look at a dollar bill, man? There's some spooky stuff goin' on on a dollar bill, man. I mean, and it's green too!"
yourbedtime.wav(143K) yourbedtime.mp3(143K) yourbedtime.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Melvin Spivey (Jason O. Smith): "We just wanna know somethin', okay? Are you gonna be bleepin' that later, or are you gonna be a little wimp, huh?"
Mitch: "How do you know I haven't already?"
Melvin: "Oh, bleep, boy! Get outta here! I think it's past your bedtime. Run along."
lickmeallofyou.wav(28K) lickmeallofyou.mp3(28K) lickmeallofyou.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Darla: "Lick me, all of you!"
watchtheleather.wav(51K) watchtheleather.mp3(51K) watchtheleather.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Wooderson: "Hey, hey, hey, hey, watch the leather man."
themorerules.wav(59K) themorerules.mp3(59K) themorerules.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Wooderson: "And let me tell you this. The older you do get, the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow."
keeplivin.wav(40K) keeplivin.mp3(40K) keeplivin.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Wooderson: "You just gotta keep livin' man. L-I-V-I-N."
bestyearsofmy.wav(76K) bestyearsofmy.mp3(76K) bestyearsofmy.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Randall: "Well, look, all I'm sayin' is that if I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life, remind me to kill myself."
stuckinthisplace.wav(218K) stuckinthisplace.mp3(218K) stuckinthisplace.m4r(iPhone ringtone)
Don: "Well, all I'm sayin' is I just wanna look back and say that I did it the best I could while I was stuck in this place, had as much fun as I could when I was stuck in this place, played as hard as I could when I was stuck in this place, dogged as many chicks as I could when I was stuck in this place."